Thursday, May 23, 2013

Crack Quiz!

imagine you're the mayor of a major North American city. imagine that instead of unwinding by drinking a beer, going for a swim, or going out dancing with your friends, you liked to unwind with a little crack. quick, what would you do?
  1.  lay off the crackpipe for a few years while you're in office, and set aside that money for lots of wonderful, wonderful crack when you've left office.
  2. arrange for a trusted friend to be your crack mule, and hope they are loyal enough not to rat you out if they get caught for being bad at hiding your crack.
  3. buy crack from the most fashionable dealers you can, and appear in a video starring your very own crack-addled musings.
if you rolled your eyes and said that none of these options are good options at all, congratulations!  you're either way too smart to be a crack smoker, or way too smart to be a politician.

if you chose 1, you have far more restraint than most crack smokers.

if you chose 2, you realise it's a tough situation, but you also realise that running a major city is pretty difficult without a way to relax -- and, for you, that way is crack.

if you chose 3, congratulations.  you're in that elite group of crack smokers who is too stupid to take refuge here at the Last Refuge of the Persecuted Crack Smoker.

sure, sure. do i know for a fact that it's Rob Ford in that video? no. do i think it's likely him? yes. Rob Ford was already a complete laughingstock; i have enough acquaintances from the Greater Toronto Area to know that.  still, i'm holding out hope that the Crackstarter does its job, and the internet at large can satisfy its curiosity.