so, i looked in the mirror a few minutes ago, around 7:30am.
there were Security Justice stickers on my shirt, right over my boobs.
i turned around, and sure enough, there was a Secure State sticker on the bottom of my shirt, right across my bum, that said "When was the last time you were penetrated?"
i put this shirt on at 4:30am.
i got to work at 5:45am.
i had looked in a mirror at least three times before 7:30am -- and this was the first time i had noticed that various salacious locations on my body were covered in stickers.
this is why i am not designed to get up at four o'clock in the morning.