Friday, October 31, 2008

ROBOTS ATTACK!!!!

this video that the Obama campaign put out for halloween makes me happy:



robot attacks? i approve of this mockery.

halloween shenanigans

if you just so happen to be in new york city, and you just so happen to want to do something awesome for halloween...clearly you should come hang out with me.

if you're not in new york city, there's still time to run to the airport, catch a plane, and meet us here for the parade. :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

:D

i'm going up to new york this evening to spend the weekend with Rob!!

*squee* *squee* *squee*

♥ ♥ ♥

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

a little proof

postulate 1: users can now thumbs-up or thumbs-down ads on facebook. after rating, there's a a drop-down menu which allows users to flag the ad with why it was good or bad.

postulate 2: at least two-thirds of the ads i get on facebook are for engagement rings, promise rings, or other similar objects peddled by companies to convince people that the only legitimate way to get a woman to keep loving them is to go into large amounts of debt to buy her something useless and sparkly.

Q.E.D.: i am now flagging all Pointless Jewelry Ads on facebook as pornographic.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

can we say judicial misconduct?

a judge in north carolina, for all intents and purposes, commanded his deputy clerk to rob a defendant:

The North Carolina Supreme Court removed Judge Mark H. Badgett from the bench after he ordered a Hispanic man accused of domestic violence to pay child support when none was requested, saying "you people always find a way," and, "I don't know how you treat women in Mexico, but here you don't treat them that way."

After defendant Floyd Mandez Carreon objected, Badgett ordered a deputy clerk to take Carreon's wallet from his pocket, hand over $140 in cash to Kathy Mendez Carreon, and let her take down Floyd's Social Security number.


he proceeded to lie about it:

When Badgett found out that the Judicial Standards Commission had ordered an investigation, he talked to the deputy clerk and plaintiff's counsel, suggesting the defendant had been violent and claiming he didn't recall the wallet incident. He told state investigators the same, adding that the defendant was known to carry a gun, that he suspected him of being a gang member based on his appearance, and that the deputy clerk had stood near him at the hearing to ensure safety.

Badgett initially denied ever ordering the deputy to go after Floyd's wallet, but later said he did so in order to "determine Mr. Carreon's true identity."


the north carolina supreme court has removed him from his judicial post. that's a good step, but i'm hoping that's not all the punishment he gets. really, i'd like to see him disbarred. he is currently looking to either reopen his own law practice or join as a partner in another law firm, but he does not deserve the privilege of legally representing anyone after committing robbery, identity theft, and flat-out racism right there in open court.

OH...OH...YES!

there are two completely awesome things about this incident:
  • these are the best campaign calls ever. [no, really. they are. have a listen, why don't you?] having a sexy woman porno voice say that the opponent has been a "bad boy" and to "vote yes!" for the opponent?
  • in the face of backlash against the campaign calls, the candidate is actually taking responsibility for them. sure, i don't buy his claim that the ads were only supposed to be a little provocative, and that the campaign worker got overzealous--there's no way the ad would work unless the voice reading the script sounded full-on pornographic. but, he's not releasing the name of the staffer, and he's owning up to his calls.

if this is the future of political campaigning, count me in. i do a pretty good phone sex voice myself...so if there are any politicians out there who need an unpaid staffer to record some robocalls, drop me a comment or an email, and we'll talk.

Monday, October 27, 2008

i'm sorry. your tubes have been corrupted.

ted stevens: the king of pork, the unwitting creator of one of my favourite internet memes...

...and now a convicted felon.

i'd say he now has no chance of winning his election next month, but we *are* talking about the state who elected sarah palin as its governor.

i voted early. now i just need to figure out how to vote often.

i voted today.

i'm glad we have early voting here in illinois. it's ridiculously convenient, especially now that i have a job that has such unpredictable spates of work. instead of having to wait until election day and either get up crazy-early or hope that i can duck out of the office in time to hustle to my polling place after work, i could just go do it on a day when things were slow at work. it's convenient.

the frustration

my original plan was to go to my local polling place after work. chicago has one early voting site set up in each ward, in addition to the board of elections downtown [where anyone in the county can go vote, regardless of their ward]. however, this plan was foiled when i went to the board of elections website this morning and saw that the early voting places are only open from 9-5. i know, i know...this is why they set up the general early voting site downtown, and open the ward sites on saturdays, for people who work downtown and can't be at their faraway local site between nine and five on a weekday.

however, i was in line for about forty-five minutes. the line only got worse as i waited, as more people arrived. i couldn't shake the idea that if they opened the local polling places from 7am-7pm [or even just 7-5 or 9-7], it would be far more convenient for people to early-vote on a weekday, and there wouldn't be hourlong lines snaking through the pedway.

the slightly allayed fear

i've never used touch-screen voting machines. i've had the option to, but i've always had a choice between paper and touch-screen ballots. being enough of a technogeek to be extremely wary about trusting a computer with something that important, i always opted for paper ballots. yes, it was eventually counted by a computer, but there was a paper trail, and people could go back and count the ballots by hand if necessary. as they remarked during last week's fascinating discussion of voting technologies on off the hook, there's a concern about when your vote turns from something tangible that's easy to check into pure data, one part of an amorphous mass of which it's impossible to truly check the validity. in short, i hated the idea of not having a paper trail for my vote.

however, i had to use a touch-screen today. they simply didn't have paper ballots for early voting. everyone used a touch-screen. i was miffed, but what else could i do? i had already signed the form that rescinded my right to vote on election day in favour of a right to vote early. i went through the screens, i chose my candidates...and then, in a little area of the machine that i thought was just blank space, a paper roll came up with all of my votes printed on it. before pushing a button to cast my ballot, i at least got to see a printout of how i voted.

i'm curious...i hope they keep these papers somewhere, and track them well enough to be able to use them in case of some kind of computer malfunction or data corruption. i'm not completely unwary about touch-screen voting; i doubt i'll ever be. but, i like knowing that there is a paper trail of my vote, and that the chicago board of elections could, if all else fails, take out all of the paper printouts of the touch-screen votes and just count those.

best. cabinet-level. secretary. ever.

today's xkcd cracked me up so much.

The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.

if they keep being this good, the last refuge will start to become indistinguishable from an xkcd rss feed.

[and, something tells me they will be...this one is labelled "secretary_part_1", implying that there will be more. squee!]

Sunday, October 26, 2008

presenting an erudite discourse on sexuality:

living with the foof is awesome, because sometimes stuff like this transpires:

[i walk into the apartment. the foof is sitting at his computer desk in one of the common rooms.]

foof: you're looking dykey today.
me: yeah, i just got my hair cut. it was getting long.
foof: you're the dykiest dyke who ever dyked.
me: except for the fact that i also like to sleep with men.
foof: true.
me: you can be dykey and be bisexual...however, i don't think a bisexual can be the dykiest dyke who ever dyked.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

this is what late evenings at work do to you

i'm reading a case called intermet realty, and i keep reading "intermet" as "internet."

never mind that the events transpired in 1982, long before the internet was something readily available to anyone but computer scientists and nasa folks.

and, never mind that this case has to do with defaulted real estate sales contracts and not computers.

*facepalm*

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

:(

someone out here in the interwebstubes found my blog today by googling i failed character and fitness in illinois.

whoever you are...my condolences.

paul and storm!

paul and storm are playing at schuba's this friday night at 7:30.

paul and storm are hilarious...i was first exposed to them last december when they opened for jonathan coulton. they are responsible for many, many hilarious songs--first among them, "the captain's wife's lament":



now you can see why i am so excited that they're playing somewhere less than a mile from my apartment. if this made you laugh, there's plenty more where that came from--come to the concert with me! :D they're selling tickets on the schuba's website, so grab one and join me there.

then you, too, may be asked for a "dejected arrrrrr."

oh boy.

my station on pandora is smoking crack this morning.

i've got a station that is, for lack of a better work, straight-up modern rock. it was playing the kind of stuff it always plays...the last few songs were stuff like deftones, mudvayne, course of nature, endo, socialburn. these aren't my favourite bands in the world, but they've got some songs that i like.

then, out of nowhere, it plays "all the things she said" by t.a.t.u. how did it know that this song is one of my guilty pleasures?? is it reading my brain waves??

*hastily dons my tinfoil hat*

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

no, seriously: do the hustle!

i mentioned yesterday that i would provide video of the exquisite awesomeness that is Warren Sapp doing the hustle?

i deliver on my promises:



darn you, foofy, for getting me into yet another reality show that doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. first project runway, now this.

what, me ethical?

the illinois bar has just informed me that i have passed the character and fitness examination!

that's right. i'm ethical enough to be a lawyer.

how standards have fallen, when riffraff like myself can be admitted to the profession. the joke's on you, society!!!

this means that i'm officially getting sworn in during the first week of november, and i'm going to get my law licence.

yay! the last three years of hazing is officially not in vain...if i failed the bar it would have been stressful, but at least i could study and take it again. if i failed character and fitness, that would have been bad. about the only thing i learned in professional responsibility class is that if you fail a state's character and fitness examination, it's almost impossible to rectify the situation and pass it later.

Monday, October 20, 2008

do the hustle!

i just saw Warren Sapp dance the hustle...and i now understand why people watch dancing with the stars.

not only did his outfit rule [everything but the jacket of a grey three-piece shirt, with a REALLY SHINY blue shirt underneath], but watching him disco-dance was compelling and hilarious. it wasn't hilarious in a "he sucks" kind of way--in fact, he's an awesome dancer--but there's just something about a big defensive tackle disco dancing like there's no tomorrow.

as soon as there is video footage of this dance posted on youtube, i will probably be posting it here. just try to watch it without cracking a smile. you'll fail.

EXPATRIATE

this should not amuse me as much as it does, given that my only exposure to doctor who is from the myriad references to it that certain geeky friends of mine have made over the years.

but, i laughed so hard my eyes welled up with tears.

srs bsns?

dear insurance broker,

if you want me to trust you to advise me through an important financial decision, it would probably be well-advised not to post ads like this on the internet:



Seriously yours,
the persecuted crack smoker

sheer brilliance.

let's see. i'm addicted to twitter. i love burma-shave ads so much that i've read a history book about them [and wish there were more to read!], read a ton of websites about them, and i get a slogan in my email every morning. and, it drove me bonkers it when firefox 2 cut off the alt-text on my precious webcomics.

yep, xkcd haxed my brain again today.

as in, this one may just supplant the snapple one for my favourite xkcd ever.

If long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave

i only wish i had made this connection first...and i bow to randall munroe's cleverness.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

ronpaul SMASH!!!!!

i share with you quite possibly the most entertaining election snark ever, courtesy of metaquotes.

a musing about coffee and boobs

i find the assertion that drinking coffee reduces breast size a little hard to believe...

...well, either that, or i must not have the gene that leads to that correlation. i've been drinking at least two cups of coffee a day [and often far more...] since i was ten years old, and i'm scared to think of what my breasts would look like if coffee actually shrunk them.

a productive day

i'm a messy person by nature. i hate cleaning. i leave everything lying around. i'm not the least bit organized [although i, like many messy people, usually know EXACTLY where any given object is in the awful pile of mess.] my room is usually a disaster zone.

however, i definitely don't mind having a clean room once in a while, and i have a somewhat clean room now. i hate the tasks of cleaning...i hate doing the laundry, i hate organizing things, i hate clearing off the floor. in fact, my room's not done. i've still got a bunch of random stuff piled on my desk, and more random stuff piled on my dresser. but, i can deal with that. that'll be easy enough to deal with either next sunday or sometime in early november. right now, it's kind of nice to have a closet full of fresh-smelling laundry and some space to walk around on my floor without stepping on things.

Friday, October 17, 2008

:)

as much as i'm not a holiday person, i have some pretty awesome plans for two of them that are coming up.

for halloween, i'm taking a three-day weekend and going up to new york to see Rob.

at thanksgiving, Rob's coming down to chicago to spend the whole week with me.

i am so full of squee.

i'm going on a very long joyride.

the chicago international film festival is showing wesley willis's joyrides tonight!

of course, i'm going. :) anyone in town who wants to join me...leave me a comment, shoot me an email, or send up a smoke signal.

recursively awesome

oh, randall munroe. this is the second time today that i've had to cite to you here. please stop doing things that are this awesome, or else i am going to have to find a doctor who can transplant your brain into my head, so i can become some fraction as awesome as you are:



(yes. randall munroe guest-drew dinosaur comics today as well. he is even amazing doing other people's comics, in addition to his own.)

<3

today has convinced me that xkcd has a camera following my life and then commenting on it:

I had a really hard time not writing '... profit!'

(by the way, for all of you who commented on my last post--i will have my responses and questions tomorrow morning, when i'm not so tired i'm about to pass out. i promise!)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

omgmeme!

this meme is floating about the interwebstubes, and i ganked it from sidepocket.

Comment and I will....

a) Tell you why I friended you.
b) Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, color, photo, etc.
c) Tell you something I like about you.
d) Tell you a memory I have of you.
e) Ask you something I've wanted to know about you.
f) Tell you my favorite userpic from your list.
g) In return, you need to post this on your own LJ.

permanent records

you know how when we were all growing up, parents and teachers threatened that things would go on your Permanent Record? it had to be a joke, right? we all took comfort in the fact that there was no way that they would actually keep a file on us and keep it forever.

well, i just learned today that, at least in Illinois, it's not a fallacy. Illinois schools do keep such a thing as a "permanent record" [yes, they actually call it that!], and by law the school system must keep it for at least sixty years after you graduate or otherwise leave the school system.

now i'm curious. i want to know if North Carolina also has these "permanent records", and how i can go about getting a copy of it. it's probably going to be really boring because i was a total goody-goody-toolbag growing up, but it would be cool to actually read this thing that was lorded over me for twelve years.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

things that turn a sucky afternoon into an awesome afternoon

[the office phone rings. the caller ID says that it's an outside number, so i have no idea who is calling.]

me: this is nicolle lastname.
Rob: i'm the law. practice me.

*squee*

i've already been crushed, thanks.

the first panel of today's diesel sweeties MUST be made into a shirt:

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

stupid parent.

once upon a time, there was a guy. this guy married his wife, and his wife became pregnant. the guy and his wife discussed what to name the baby, and decided to name her ava grace. the baby was born, and the guy filled out the birth certificate. there was just one little hitch: the guy didn't put ava grace as the baby's name.

unbeknownst to his wife, the guy put sarah mccain palin as the baby's name. the guy justified his actions by saying he doesn't have a lot of money to donate to the campaign, and commented that he "took one for the cause."

...

now, is it just me, or did this guy not actually take anything for the cause?! this looks an awful lot like forcing his kid to take one for the cause, without the kid's consent.

things that entertain me

today, the internet is for lulz.

  • this picture of Secretary Paulson making a face that would be right at home on a northbound Red Line train was on the front page of the new york times website:

  • cracked.com's piece on celebrities that were real idiots with money has provided the world with the undisputed king of similes in its description of Mark Twain: "The man hemorrhaged money like a hemophiliac breakdancing on a bed of machetes."
  • also courtesy of cracked.com, in its article detailing terrible, horrible, no good, very bad music trends is a band name that seriously needs to happen. it's talking about the nineties trend of using numbers for words, and then taking it to its logical extreme. they've created a monster...because there seriously does need to be a DJ act called 411 Ur B34tz R B310ng 2 Us.

Monday, October 13, 2008

calling the peabo bus...calling the peabo bus...

contrary to our popular belief, "he's old" is not the only joke you can crack about John McCain1:





there's plenty more where these came from...thanks Taryn!

***
1 this is in no way intended to imply that calling John McCain "old" is old meme. in fact, it's still just as relevant as ever, and will remain relevant until he picks a less flamingly incompetent vice presidential candidate.

in other words, John McCain is not only good for falling objects, but he's still old.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

a public service announcement from black hat

today's xkcd should be required reading in every copyright class...and, really, for anyone involved in the sale, transmission, legislation, or regulation of digital media:

I spent more time trying to get an audible.com audio book playing than it took to listen to the book.  I have lost every other piece of DRM-locked music I have paid for.

unit pricing. it works, bitches.

KFC's new ad campaign is stupid. anyone who can do math can tell you that. watch and feel your head spin:



i won't belabour the obvious point that the fried chicken and biscuits you would make from ingredients purchased in a grocery store will doubtless be of better quality than the fried chicken and biscuits you purchase at KFC. attacking that is like shooting fish in a barrel, and brings me no satisfaction.

instead, what bothers me first and foremost is what i see when they're shopping. sure, you can probably buy a package with seven, or roughly seven, pieces of chicken in a grocery store. but, you can't go to the grocery store and buy just the amount of flour, oil, spice, baking powder, baking soda, and shortening that you'd need to make chicken and biscuits for three or four people. for the ad to not be blatantly misleading, they'd have to show, or at least reference, the people calculating how much of each ingredient they'd use for dinner that night, and how much just that portion costs.

of course buying all of the ingredients at the grocery store will cost more than ten dollars...then again, if you go to KFC, you're not going to have anything with which to make something else from scratch another night. with the ingredients from the grocery store, you'll have enough ingredients left for plenty more chicken breading, biscuits, or whatever else you may want to bake or make.

the fact that the ad avoids such an obvious point bothers me. the fact that so many people are going to be stupid enough to fall for that argument without noticing the obvious hole bothers me even more.

grrr.

i slept in until 2:30 today.

my reward?

a horrible crick in my neck from being in bed so long.

it's kind of hard to enjoy the first time in weeks that i've stayed in bed after 9am when my head is hurting badly enough to impede my ability to think clearly.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

it's like a senior centre across the street from a graveyard...

i'm generally distrustful of title loan and payday loan places, but i saw an extra-sketchy one today.

i was standing at diversey and western, waiting for the bus. on the west side of western, just south of diversey, i saw what looked at first blush to be a run-of-the-mill title loan shop. it had bright yellow signs, offering "payday loans! installment loans! cash loans on car titles! no credit check! you keep car!" it was the stuff you always see on the signs for those places.

then, i noticed what was next door to it, and i could only imagine that this must be the most repossession-happy title loan shop in town. next door to the title loan shop...

...was a skeezy used car lot.

Friday, October 10, 2008

butt-o-nomics

last night, while i was on the phone with my co-conspirator, who shall remain nameless, i had an idea. the more i see the stock markets jumping up and down, the more i see companies like AIG and Barclays spending their respective governments' bailout money on rich trips for executives, and the more i read about people finally admitting that these financial instruments that helped to get us into this mess are just as ethereal to them as they are to us average joes, and their long-term effects just as unknown...the more i think my idea last night is a good one. what is this revolutionary idea?

fire all the CEOs of these financial institutions and insurance companies and hire Beavis and Butt-Head in their places.

at least Beavis and Butt-Head are too stupid to get the economy in any more trouble than it's alread in. they'd be too dumb to set up junkets for executives, devise sneaky investment strategies to try and circumvent the market downturn, or make excuses for all of the greedy and short-sighted things that the old executives have done in the past. instead, the government could mandate that they make a meagre salary, and they wouldn't complain like current executives would. they'd go spend it on nachos and slushies. if some executive vice president walked into their office and asked for approval of some harebrained scheme, the conversation would go something like this:

male stuffed-suit: i've got this great idea for how we can stop losing so much money. can we [troubled asset relief cash management credit swaps mortgage-based securities blah blah blah string of financial jargon]?
Butt-Head: uhhhh...no.
Beavis: shut up, asswipe! now, go get me some more nachos.

or, it may sound something like this:

female stuffed-suit: i've got a plan for some blatantly illegal yet immensely profitable naked short-selling.
Beavis: whoa! she said naked!
Butt-Head: come to Butt-Head. huh-huh.

is this going to help? probably not. but, would this give us as good a chance as any to stem the bleeding, buy some time, and keep the fat cats out of the economists' hair, so they can take much needed time puzzling through what kind of pickle we're actually in, and what chance there is to actually fix it instead of slapping a pork-laden band-aid on it.

it can't hurt.

another state sees the light.

i officially bestow The Shiny upon the Connecticut Supreme Court.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

questions? comments? grievances? catcalls?

i know i just posted that food meme a few days ago...but i am le tired. since i lack ze missiles to fire, this 50-question survey [rather inelegantly ganked from an old post of Rob's] shall do in lieu of actual content.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
student loan bills. yeah, i already got something super awesome as a result of incurring that debt, but it's kind of depressing that i'm paying more in student loans than i am for my other bills combined.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
piled up on a living room chair, watching Family Feud and Catch 21 on the game show channel.

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
nope...even though we're not together anymore, it was still the right thing to do at the right time.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
i wouldn't...i'm afraid changing any little thing in the past would have some very strange effects on the present, and i'm really happy with how my present is going.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
miss fulp...well, it was mrs. holland for the first two weeks, but then i got switched into the new class with the new teacher. i didn't like mrs. holland very much, so i was very happy to be switched. miss fulp rocked.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
goofing around an urban area with Rob...i don't care if it's in New York, Chicago, or somewhere else, as long as it's with him.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
first i wanted to be a lawyer-turned-politician...then i became disillusioned with politics, and decided i'd rather be a physicist.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
two...the University of Chicago for undergrad, and Washington University for law school.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
because it's what i happened to grab.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
i'm glad petroleum prices are high, but they still aren't high enough to cover the social cost of oil usage. they need to be higher so people finally start switching to other sources.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
Chicago is the place i love, so i technically already have "moved anywhere" i wanted. however, it would be even more awesome if i could spirit Rob away to my neck of the woods. :D

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
how rude. stop interrupting my dream.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
this bed is so empty.

14. Favorite underwear?
none at all...i heart going commando.

15. How many windows are open on your computer?
four.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
all of them. i am not a homemaker under any circumstances.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
i'd volunteer far more...it would be so boring to have nothing to do, and there's so much cool pro bono legal work going on!

18. Get up early or sleep in?
sleep in. i am not a morning person, and i love being in bed, under the covers, taking my sweet time dusting the cobwebs away.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
butt-head. i'm such a beavis and butt-head freak...but butt-head is totally the brains of the operation. i like that.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
whatever unfolds.

21. Have you found real love yet?
romantically...yes. platonically...yes. i'm one lucky girl.

22. When did you first start feeling old?
i've always felt old in little regards, but the first time i felt crushingly old was my twenty-fifth birthday. i spent the next six months really unhappy, and having panic attacks several times a day about how close i was drawing near to death.

23. Favorite 80’s movie?
UHF. weird al rules. that's really the only eighties movie i absolutely love.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
call me childish, but if i can go to the deli and get a sandwich with beef bologna, i'm one happy camper. i love bologna.

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?
the only times i ever went to costco were to stock the eat-me closet in college, when i was the eat-me czarina. the eat-me closet was our house fundraiser...we sold food in the dorm late at night. so...i always bought pop, candy, chips, and easy-mac--college late-night nosh.

26. Beach or lake?
pool is not an option? grrr. i'll say lake, since i have fantastic memories of visiting greers ferry lake as a little kid.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
less outdated, more misconceived. first of all, the idea that marriage has led to this societal pressure to pick one person and stay with them for life is absurd. some people operate well in that context; some don't. i can understand there being some sort of governmental arrangement in order to at least protect any kids spawned of a relationship, and the rights of the parents to see them. but, it's caused such a mess that the name adopted by governmental units and the name adopted by private religious organizations to recognize relationships is the same. let the churches sanctify whatever they choose to. let the government not discriminate as to which unions they grant visitation rights and tax benefits to.

28. Do you own property?
books, clothing, stuffed animals, tech gadgets, and a couple pieces of furniture i bought at ikea back in august. that's about it. i don't own any land...and don't reckon i ever will. maybe i'll own a little condo someday when i'm not over my head in school debt, but ask me again when i'm old and grey.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Mayor Daley. he's antidemocratic, but sometimes i just don't care because he's such a fascinatingly powerful institution. it's embarrassing to admit, but i'm so proud to have a mayor who, when he decides he doesn't want an airport downtown, doesn't bitch incessantly about it. instead, he convenes his advisors in the middle of the night, calls in the bulldozers, and disables the runways himself. he wanted a park and not an airport there, and by golly, that's what he now has. absolute power corrupts absolutely, but i'd be a liar to say i'm not in awe of Mayor Daley's absolute power.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
i hardly watch movies. i watch so few of them that the better question would be which ones that cause me the most trouble at a cocktail party when people find out i haven't seen them.

31. What’s your drink?
i drink club soda by the litre. i love that stuff. i know it's just water, but the fizz makes it taste so much better.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Cleveland is in the same division as the White Sox, but i still have to go with them. i've hated the Dallas Cowboys since i was a small child, and i still find them to be so arrogant. the whole "America's Team" claim has worn so thin.

33. Cops or robbers?
i love bank robbers. i've never met a bank robber who didn't leave me with a hilarious story...and yes, i've met multiple bank robbers.

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
Mr. Prim, my physics teacher. he was such a geek, and i'd love to sit down and talk with him again. i hope he wouldn't be disappointed, though, to find out that i didn't end up pursuing a career in physics.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
i don't drive. when i ride the el, i listen to my iPod and not a radio. when i'm goofing off on the computer at home, i listen to radio.wazee, my favourite internet radio station. when i'm at work, i listen to my yahoo radio station because i can't get wazee to load on the work computers.

36. Norm or Cliff?
i don't think i've ever met anyone named norm or cliff. when i hear the name norm, i think of norm mcdonald. when i hear the name cliff, i think of jimmy cliff. i'll go with cliff, because even though "i can see clearly now" gets overplayed, it's still a darn good song.

37. ‘The Cosby Show’ or ‘The Simpsons’?
the simpsons. i can't knock cosby...i've just never seen it. i don't watch many sitcoms, old or new. chances are, if a sitcom was not on tgif back in the day, i probably haven't seen it. i can think of a couple exceptions [fresh prince and home improvement come to mind], but not many.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
i wouldn't take any of them back. i've had some great moments and some terribly bumpy ones, but if it wasn't for the times my relationships hit snags back in the day, i wouldn't have such a clear idea of what i don't want to have happen in a relationship now.

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
no one works directly across from me...directly across from me is a wall full of empty filing cabinets. next to me on one side is an empty office. next to me on the other side is another empty office, with another two or three empty offices next to it. it's desolate where i am. they put me in the area with all the newly built offices. they'll eventually fill up as soon as we get some new hires or some laterals, but it's so quiet. no one even walks by my office, it's so far away from everything.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
douglas coupland. i want to find out how he was able to crawl into my brain so completely without ever having met me.

41. Indoors or outdoors?
indoors. there are bugs outside. there is also sunlight outside. i do not like either bugs or sunlight.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
i've never crashed a vehicle i owned, but i crashed my parents' minivan when i was seventeen. i was taking a left turn at a green light, and an old lady who wasn't watching where she was going slammed broadside into the passenger side of the van. no one was hurt, luckily enough, since there was no one else in the van but me. however, the van was totaled. that accident scared me a lot...i had to drive for a few weeks after it because my father needed me to run errands, but once i started college i stopped driving, and haven't driven a car since.

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
nope. i've never been around an unintended fire before.

44. Last book you read?
while i was waiting for my take-out for dinner, i was reading some more pages of Learning Python. i'm working through that book bit by bit.

i think the last book i actually finished was Collier's Handbook for Debtors in Possession. yes, it was for work. no, i can't believe i read the whole thing.

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
yep. i still have the huge stuffed panda i got for christmas when i was three. i have a ton of other stuffed animals...mostly penguins, since i collect stuffed penguins, but i think Lili [pronounced lee-lie] is my only bear.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
i can't think of a place i've brushed my teeth other than a bathroom, a hotel room, or the vicinity of one of those two places. i lack a satisfactory answer, and i suddenly have the urge to brush my teeth somewhere strange.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
san francisco. i've been to southern california, which is not my cup of tea, and big sur, which is breathtaking. but, i've never been to san francisco, and i think that city would be a fun place to hang out.

48. Do you go to church?
no. i do like going to Unitarian services, but i don't attend regularly. the urge to sleep in on weekend mornings is just too strong.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
neither, right now. i'm currently in the best relationship of my life. and, i just started my legal career, something i've been anticipating for years. but, if i had a gun to my head and was forced to give one or the other up, i'd unquestionably change my career. worse comes to worst, there's always something else you can do from nine to five. however, there's no way to replace a special person in your life.

50. How old are you?
twenty-five...or, too old to be doing these things.

sad guys on trading floors

you like schadenfreude, right? i know you like schadenfreude.

fengi posted a link to sad guys on trading floors...a site that's exactly what it sounds like. it's pictures of unhappy-looking financial traders with snarky comments accompanying them. it provides sweet, sweet schadenfreude better than any website on the internet except for possibly www.stabrichardfuldintheface.com.

[okay, so i made that last website up. but really...such a site *would* be pretty funny, wouldn't it?]

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

creepiest parent ever.

i can't decide what's most wrong about the allegations in this story:
  • the mother was really, really insistent that her daughter's ex-boyfriend get back together with her daughter.
  • the mother repeatedly called the ex, repeatedly e-mailed the ex, and sent 12,302 text messages to the ex over the course of six months.
  • the mother threatened to send pictures and video of the ex-boyfriend to his teachers and his minister and tell them that he is "not a nice person."
  • the mother threatened to post her daughter's ex-boyfriend's pictures online if he didn't start seeing her again.
  • the daughter and the ex-boyfriend are both thirteen years old.
  • the mother is a teacher.

i don't blame the ex for remaining this girl's ex. i couldn't date anyone with a mother that psychotic either.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Monday, October 06, 2008

game, set, match.

i knew the original maverick. the original maverick is a friend of mine. and you, John McCain, are no maverick.

a picky eater, i am.

alright...here's a meme that i took from Rob as well as agent alpo...it's about all kinds of weird food. several of them i had to look up since i had never heard of them before, but here goes nothing.

Bold what you’ve eaten. Strike what you wouldn’t ever consider eating.
My Omnivore's Hundred (53/100):

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (as long as the eggs are fried hard. runny eggs squick me out.)
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava (my roommate the foof makes AWESOME baklava!)
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (i've had clam chowder, and i've had sourdough bowls, but i've never had the two together!)
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (i like cognac, but cigars are smelly and gross!)
37. Clotted Cream Tea
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O/Jell-O Shots
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (that has GOT to be smooth.)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (gross.)
50. Sea urchin (also gross.)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. kaolin (well, i reckon that at least some of the fruit that i've eaten has been coated in it...)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette (i *did* grow up in north cackalackey, after all...)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini (well, i've had caviar. but, not with blini. blini sound good...but caviar is vile. so, when i try blini, it will NOT be with caviar.)
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang Souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom Yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

paradox

am i the only one who has always found it weird that even though it's the rich that care most about the stock index, one of the major stock indices is called the "standard and poor's"?

>.<

???

as if i needed more evidence that the stock market is a fickle, ethereal, and ultimately absurd thing...i just watched the dow plummet thirty-five points from the time i got on the elevator at ground level to the time i got off the elevator on the forty-fourth floor to go to my office.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

a little thought on computer programming

coding: it's frustrating as hell when your program is buggy, but the feeling of *squee* at the end when the module finally works is so addictive. seriously, it's like crack. that little rush makes the hours of banging my head against the wall [or the table, or the book, or whatever the nearest hard object is...] completely worth it.

good morning.

it's a quarter to eleven on a sunday morning.

i'm eating an omelette, sipping coffee, and learning the ins and outs of cron jobs.

it doesn't get any better than this.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

*squee*

on cute overload this morning...a beagle with a solid bailout plan!



<3

*facepalm*

Barney Frank on Bill O'Reilly..."your stupidity gets in the way of rational discussion":



his stupidity, and his yelling, ranting, and not letting Frank get a word in edgewise.

Friday, October 03, 2008

now more than ever

mccain drove me crazy during last week's debate. he claimed that we were clearly winning in iraq. he claimed that a $5000 tax break is a better idea than actual government healthcare assistance. he couldn't put a finger on any way his policies would be different from those of george w. bush.

palin's incoherent blather last night was the last straw.

i made a donation to the obama-biden campaign this morning.

if you don't want to see four more years of what we've got now, and you've got a little money to spare...i encourage you to do the same thing. i have no illusions that this ticket is perfect or that there will be huge changes overnight; neither of those things are possible.

however, they are the only electable ticket who gives us a chance of moving incrementally away from the last eight years. that much, i do believe.

why am i having bar dreams NOW?

i didn't have any weird, panicky bar-related dreams between the test and the results coming out. i freaked out enough during my waking hours, but my sleep was my own. the anticipation and the nerves never seemed to follow me into dreamland.

it was only last night, after the bar results came out, that the bar first stalked me there.

i had a dream last night that i was at a meeting with my co-workers. we were congratulating each other for passing the bar. i was trying to put on a happy face and play along, but it was painful. it was painful because in the dream, i had received a message before the meeting that ibaby's first notice to me was in error, and that i had in fact failed the bar. there was one person who made an off-hand comment about how it wouldn't have been *that* bad if one of us had failed, because we could always take it again and we could keep working unless we failed it a second time...and i wanted to slink back into a corner until they were done talking about the bar.

i didn't quite believe that it was all a dream until i woke up, checked my email, and saw no "important message from ibaby" in my inbox.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

vice weenies

i just finished watching the vice presidential debate. it was a far better debate than last week's presidential debate...as i didn't leave facepalming with a desire to elect the moderator.

that being said, biden mopped the floor with palin. biden was pointed, and he clearly knew far more [and could speak far more eloquently] about both his ticket's policies and her ticket's policies than she could. i was expecting him to just spend the entire time trashing and being a douchebag...but i was pleasantly surprised. i like biden a lot more after tonight.

anyway, that's my ultra-short recap. for my contemporaneous commentary, as well as Rob's, go to Rob's blog. go directly to Rob's blog. do not pass go. do not collect a $5000 tax break in lieu of having actual health insurance.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

just a thought...

meat loaf rules.

[yes, i mean the singer...not the food, although the food is pretty good too.]

we are pleased to advise...

i passed the bar!!!!!

i passed the bar!!!!!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!


they didn't make it easy for me to find out. after that post about hoping to have stuff up by midnight, i got an email saying i had an "important posting" on the website. of course, i then kept trying to log in. i kept getting the same message, that the website was down in order to post results. finally, about an hour and a half later, i could log in to check my messages. i was on the phone with my mother at the time, and so i waited a few minutes to get off the phone with her and on the phone with Rob, since he would do a lot more to alleviate my stress than my mother would. turns out it was a tease. it wasn't a message about whether i passed--it was a message telling me i needed to harass a couple of previous employers about my character and fitness surveys. that pissed me off--why were they releasing that stuff on the same night as bar results? it only jammed the servers more, and made those of us who got those notices even more nervous for nothing!

finally, around eleven fifteen, i turned in for the night. i was tired, i was stressed, and the servers would probably be less slammed at 7am than they would right when results came out. right?

wrong.

i checked my email at seven this morning when i got up, and had a notice timestamped around 1am saying that i had another posting on my ibaby profile. so, i tried to log in...and it wouldn't load. i tried again; it wouldn't load. i tried it and left it running when i was in the shower...and i came back to a 503 website capacity error. i tried one more time before i left for work, and still nothing. i was so stressed out that i was tempted to ditch work, but the foof basically pushed me out the door, so i went.

i tried not to check ibaby on my crackberry while i was on the train. i really did. but, around armitage, the anticipation got to be too much. i cleared out of fark.com, and went back to check ibaby just once.

this time it loaded like a charm.

i typed in my username and password, and that loaded immediately.

i clicked the link to my new message, and that loaded immediately.

i scrolled down, and read:

"Dear persecuted crack smoker,

We are pleased to advise that you have passed the July 2008 Illinois bar examination."


[okay, so they didn't actually call me the persecuted crack smoker, but you get the point.]

at least i'm now flailing and incoherent out of pure joy instead of pure nerves.

i passed!!!!!