i spent most of the day at a birthday party, at which there were many, many bizarre exchanges. two jump out as ones that make me look silly and/or stupid, so i post them here.
[my friend J is putting hair gel in his hair. my friend D is in the kitchen baking muffins.]
J: i've got to put this in to look Republican. i need to get the part right.
me: funny. you put product in your hair to look Republican. i put product in my hair to look scary.
J: there are lots of different products for lots of different things. besides, you don't look scary. i don't think anyone would look at your hairstyle and be scared...unless, are you Scary Spice?
me: no. i'm not Scary Spice.
J: Scary Spice or Posh Spice.
me: i'm not ANY of the Spice Girls.
D: really? i thought you were Bisexual Spice!
me: ummmmm...what? the former, yes. the latter...no.
i'm still unclear as to how i became Bisexual Spice in anyone's brain.
[later at the party...after a few drinks. a bunch of us are sitting around the table exchanging bad date and date-like stories, and i preface my story with a warning that it's going to make me sound really, really bad.]
me: this one involves some guys in a local band in Chicago...none of you have any reason to know who it is.
J: is it Ratbag Hero?
me: what? how did you know?!
i still have no clue how he knew.