Wednesday, January 31, 2007

well, CJA got cancelled this morning.

that's a little sad, because it's my favourite class. (well, it's my favourite except for my clinic, but that feels less like a class and more like the most awesome job in the world.) but, it gives me a little time this morning before i go into clinic to actually sit around in the law school lounge and see people. i like that.

this semester, i spend almost no time at the law school when lots of other people are there. i spend a lot of time at school--but generally it's just nights and weekends, for night classes and trial team. this is as opposed to last semester--when i was at school a lot. i was almost never doing work at school, but i'd always just stake out one of the tables in the lounge and just surf the internet or talk to my friends. i miss that.

back to trying to finish the barely legal skit i started over winter break. i was going to just abandon it, but they're due today, and i decided that i had nothing to lose by trying to finish it and seeing if it gets picked. it probably sucks, because i'm not very funny and i've never really written a "play" or a "parody song" before, but it's worth a shot.

whether or not it gets picked, i'm going to audition to act in barely legal. that's what i really want to do. what can i say? i'm kind of a spotlight whore.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

this makes me happy.

if you go on msn search and search the words crack smoker, my blog is the second hit, out of 107,433 hits.

what's the first hit? the awesomely awesome bait car video with the guy smoking crack as he gets pulled over by the cops.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Best Headline Ever:

"Italy gets park and ride scheme"

now, you'd think this is pretty boring...a parking lot, right?

not so much. it's a headline for an article about a park where people can go in and have sex without getting arrested.

heh-heh. that's cool.

(in unrelated news, you, christopher daniel gay, might be a redneck. i swear, this is even more awesomely absurd than the last verse of steve goodman's version of "every country song".)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

pure, unadulterated canadian awesomeness.

(otherwise known as "submission" by diamond back.)
hello, dear readers. it's the persecuted crack smoker with another installment of "useless information."

today, we have a gem from wikipedia. i was looking up the happy fun ball. at the bottom, after the article, there was a box listing what category directories the article appears in.

there is actually a category on wikipedia called fictional balls.

granted, there are some nice balls on that list. it references balls like super monkey ball, wilson the volleyball, and katamari damacy. those are some pretty nice balls, if ever i saw any.

but, still. a wikipedia category for fictional balls? what about great balls of fire? what about ac/dc's dirty big balls? jordy kohn's dog balls? there are so many more amazing balls that could be honoured on wikipedia's list of fictional balls.
with extremely minor modifications, i'm reprinting the journal entry that i wrote for my clinic this week. it's a reflection on what i've learned about grand juries and about civil commitment...we were assigned to write about observations we have had about the criminal justice system through the clinic i'm working in.

grand juries

The first time in the clinic when I was really shaken about one of the functions of the justice system was on the second day there. The attorney in charge of the intern programme was giving us a tour of the facilities, and he was including some explanations of some of the workings of criminal procedure as we went. He discussed the three ways that a felony could get bound over to circuit court: waiver, preliminary hearing, and grand jury.

I always knew that grand juries were secret proceedings, to an extent. I knew from such cursory things as the television show Law and Order that the defense attorneys were not allowed into the hearings of the grand jury. But, I didn't know the extent of the secrecy. I didn't know that the defendants were not allowed into their own grand juries. I didn't know that the defense attorneys could not have any discovery whatsoever before a grand jury hearing.

This bothers me. At least, when a case goes to preliminary hearing, the client and the defense attorneys know what the police have filed about the incident in question. We can start building a case. We have something to go on other than the client's word, which is sometimes inadequate or selective. Until we get discovery, we don't know the evidence they have against our client, and when a case goes to grand jury, we do not have this information until it is bound over to circuit.

I'm not opposed to a jury-style alternative to a preliminary hearing. I understand the idea of a jury of one's peers deciding whether a case should be bound over to circuit court, instead of a judge making that decision. But, I think grand juries ought to be performed in a similar manner to preliminary hearings. Allow the client to see the hearing. Allow attorneys from both sides to be there, so the jury can hear the defense attorney's cross-examination of the prosecution witnesses. Allow the grand jury to see what questions we have about the evidence that the prosecution has against the client. That way, the defense won't be held behind on being able to build a case, until it does go to circuit court, and the proceedings are not held secret from the defendant or his attorney. I just don't trust a process in which only the prosecution has any control over whether a case is bound over to circuit court. I know that most cases in preliminary hearings are bound over as well, but at least there's some transparency, and some opportunity for cross-examination.

civil commitment

The other very scary thing about the justice system I learned this past week, when I was meeting the circuit attorneys I am working for. I'm working for the attorneys in the Civil Commitment Unit. I vaguely knew what civil commitment was before coming to work in the public defender's office. I knew that some states had mechanisms in place through which they could commit people convicted of sex crimes to time in mental treatment after their prison sentences had finished.

I didn't know any specifics until I talked to one of the Civil Commitment Unit attorneys this week. I didn't know how the state went about civilly committing these people. It's a jury trial—a jury trial laden with expert testimony from both sides, and a jury trial that the defendant has won just four times in the eight years that civil commitment has been the law in Missouri. I didn't know that the state has never let anyone out of civil commitment, and that it's a four-step programme of which the fourth step has not yet been completed. I didn't know that the state mental health agency could contract out the housing of civilly committed people to the department of corrections, or that many of the places that people are civilly committed are behind razor wire.

This bothers me profoundly. The people have been sentenced to certain time in prison, and have served such time. It seems wrong, no matter what crime they have been convicted with, that they can be put back in confinement after the term is over, because they have paid their assigned debt to society. If the finder of fact in a trial feels so strongly that somebody is so mentally affected that they cannot function in society, until they have been treated and have shown enough change so that they can function normally, then they should be ruled not guilty by reason of insanity, and sentenced to serious mental health treatment. (This, of course, brings up issues of what the standard of insanity is, given that such disposition is unlikely to happen under Missouri's insanity standard, the M'Naghten rule.) If not, then they should be assigned to their prison terms, and released when they have paid their debt to society.

There's not a whole lot that can be done right now other than doing the best we can to defend these people who are facing civil commitment, since the Supreme Court ruled about ten years ago that these were constitutional—that ex post facto and deprivation of liberty protections did not apply, since the commitment was treatment in the civil sphere, as opposed to incarceration in the criminal one.

The fact that the state feels that it needs a civil commitment programme highlights what must be, in my opinion, a shortcoming in the prison system: that the state is doing such a bad job of rehabilitating sex offenders in prison that it wants time after the legally sentenced time to keep trying. Although, by saying this, I fear I am being too optimistic—I'm afraid that the real reason is more along the lines of politics, being able to brag that the state is tough on sex offenders, and meticulous about keeping them off the streets. This boast is coming at the expense of the liberty of citizens, and I can't feel good about that, or secure.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

usually, i'm not a big fan of you're the man now, dog. most of the content on there is absolutely terrible.

but, occasionally, there's one that cracks me up. this one is absolutely wonderful. it manages to combine two amusing things that you wouldn't think go well together--and make it really, really funny.

one of them is a bad horror movie trailer.

the other is senator ted stevens.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

omg. awesome. SQUEE!!!!



i can't say it any better...i love trash!
i've been delinquent on my blogging.

i've been very busy these last couple days. most of the stuff i've been thinking about, spending a lot of time with, are work things. i love my clinic at the public defender so much; i wish i didn't have to take class, and i could just spend forty or fifty hours a week there. they'd clearly have enough work for me to do, and i can't get enough of it. i love it. i get to talk with clients a lot. i get to be in court on a regular basis. i get to learn more than i ever have about the criminal justice system. some of it is fascinating. some of it disgusts me.1

but, i just love working in the public defender's office. the people i work with are fantastic--interns, lawyers, and undergrads. the cases are fascinating. once my rule 13 goes through, i'll get to speak in court.

choosing to do this clinic is one of the best decisions i've ever made. it's reaffirming why i chose to go to law school in the first place.

***
1 when i have my wits about me, there will be very long rants here about my distaste for the practice of civil commitment, as well as for grand juries. but, this involves reasoned argument, and i'm so sleep-deprived right now that i'd just ramble and bitch.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

barrister's ball is february 24th.

i know i'm going. the only question is--do i ask someone out, or do i go stag?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

today's a crazy news day, a really crazy news day.

the worst name ever.

first of all, we've got this gem. the reason why this news story is remarkable is not the story itself--it's the name of one of the people in the story. i've found some bad names. i've found some really bad names. but, this one takes the cake.

epluribus.

who would name their kid epluribus? i want to find his parents, pull them aside, and ask them what in the world they must have been smoking when they decided that they should name their kid epluribus! i can just imagine the scene in the hospital when they were filling out the birth certificate, and they needed to know the name of the kid:

nurse: what is the baby's name?
mom: ummm...uhhh...dunno. can we fill everything else out first?
nurse: okay...
nurse asks mom for the rest of the information required on the birth certificate form.
nurse: okay, that'll be twenty dollars to get this birth certificate issued.
mom: here you go...hey, wait a minute!
mom holds on to the twenty-dollar bill, flips it around in her hands, squints, and reads the bill intently.
mom: epluribus! that's what i wanna name my kid! that sounds all smart, and cool, and it's on the money, so he's gonna make a lot of money! epluribus!
nurse's jaw drops.
nurse: you sure about that?
mom: yeah!
nurse: mutters under breath i guess there's no law against stupid names. moron. poor kid.

let me reiterate that there really should be regulations against stupid names. there needs to be a naming board. the proposed baby name will be read in front of the naming board, and it has to pass the laugh test. if someone reads the name to the board, and no one in the board busts out laughing at it, then it passes. if not, the baby needs to be named something else.

if this were the case, then no one would have to go through life with a name like epluribus.

they're all a bunch of nut jobs, i swear it!

never have i read about a case in which all of the people involved were as screwed up as in this one. a twenty-nine-year-old man lived with a forty-something man and a sixty-something man. as you can see from the mug shot, the twenty-nine-year-old looks like a twentysomething.

apparently, he had the men convinced that he was twelve. they busted him when he tried to register for middle school.

who would want a twelve-year-old concubine?!?!?!?! why would this guy pretend to be a kid in order to live with at least one really, really, ridiculously unattractive old man, and fuck him? (we don't know what the other one looks like.) and, apparently, the 29 year old guy has a rap sheet of sex charges, and may have been registering for school in order to try and molest students. seriously--he must be the stupidest pedophile ever! he tried to enroll in school, despite not looking twelve years old! there would be far easier ways for him to find children to pursue, that don't involve such a high risk of getting busted!

this whole case leaves me with nothing but questions. it's the weirdest thing ever.

Friday, January 19, 2007

mood music for a whisky tango foxtrot.

"Red Is The New Black"
by Funeral For A Friend

can't pretend that your nothing special
you've got to look at all of your options
you cant decide what to go for
when it's all about trust
it's all about trust

you see yourself on the tv
you read your magazines
you can't explain how it's come to be this
stop and think
when it's all about trust
it's all about trust

go

this coverage
your centre spread
your centre spread
your neon light daydream
will shatter and break
will shatter and break
and if you think i'm thinking of your value
thinking of your value here
you're the one
you're the one who's losing control

whoa

this eventual stop this
break in the mold
i scream down this hotline just to feel something
this eventual stop this
break in the mold
i scream down this hotline just to feel something

this situation isn't getting any better
i see the look in your eyes
the look in your eyes
you want to see a pretty face the mirrors will lie
there isn't anything wrong with giving up
and for what it's worth
i still hate you

whoa

this eventual stop this
break in the mold
i scream down this hotline just to feel something
this eventual stop this
break in the mold
i scream down this hotline just to feel something

just to feel something something
just to feel something something
just to feel something something
just to feel something something

this situation isn't getting any better this situation
i see that look in your eye
this situation isn't getting any better this situation
i see that look in your eye
this situation isn't getting any better this situation
i see that look in your eye
i've been so busy this semester.

i realised this morning that i've passed the point of no return...somehow i have transitioned from a lazy bum to a woman on the go. my alarm was set for eight thirty-one, and it went off. i heard it go off, and i didn't curse at it. i didn't grumble. i didn't even think about rolling over and going back to bed.

i got up. i got up, and felt jazzed that it was a sleep-in day. that's just wrong.
confusing: i passed antitrust, somehow.

even more confusing: it was my best grade of the semester.

that makes no sense at all. i knew i flunked that final, hardcore...although, apparently, i didn't.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

yikes. i have to be at work in six hours, and i haven't gotten to bed yet.

but, i'm awake. i'm still grumbling. i didn't advance at novak's idol tonight...really, i think i was one of the best ten singers out of the fifteen that sang tonight. but...so many people had hugiferous groups of people they knew, or it was their normal karaoke joint. me...i met some people there, but didn't bring a ton of people with me. i met some really fun people, and had a blast singing...and the judges seemed to like me. but...i was one of the bottom five votegetters, so no more for me.

i'm less disappointed than i thought i'd be, but i'm still a bit disappointed. i sang well tonight, darn it...and i don't mean "sang well" in the sense of overconfident people that actually suck. i mean "sang well" in...my eternally self-questioning sense.

oh well. i'll come back next year, and outsing them all.

Monday, January 15, 2007

i went shopping today. i got some black pants, that i needed. i got a really cute shirt to wear for novak's idol on wednesday.

and then, i got something really, really shiny--a copy of mr. popper's penguins!! i hadn't read that book since i was a small child. it's one of the funniest books ever, and the pictures have all these cute little adelie penguins in them!

i'm giddy.
people put some stupid stuff on wikipedia, but this one had me cackling due to its sheer absurdity. in the article about everyone's favourite Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Incompetent American Idol Singer, ace young, there's the following sentence:

"Young frequently uses the Internet and says he is "always using the search engines- Google or Yahoo!" and also iTunes."

i'm glad google has ace young's imprimatur. it's legit now, baby!

but, seriously. i want to find who cared enough about that fact to add it to the article. i want to find them, and tell them that they are stupid.
this is my last sleep-in morning for at least a month and a half.

it's so weird getting king day off, since i never got king day off in college. in college, the only day we got off winter quarter was suicide prevention day--monday of sixth week, halfway through the quarter.

i'm glad we get the day off, even though i didn't sleep in as late as i had hoped to. i was up by nine. this was weird, because i didn't go to bed until about a quarter to four last night. i wasn't out until then...i was only out until about two. i didn't even intend to be out as late as i was, but it happened that way, as things often do when i don't have anything scheduled the next day. i spent most of the evening at the delmar lounge, and then ended up at nick's pub, a bar out on manchester that i had never been to before. it was a good little place, although i'd love to go sometime when it's a little less crowded and we can actually do things like pool and darts. i did get to play a little bit of lethal enforcers, though...i hadn't played that game in years. it's so early nineties. it's a great game.

anyway, i got home around two, and instead of being a reasonable human being and going straight to sleep, i decided to be stupid and go on the internet for almost two hours. i guess it's not that much of a big deal, right? i can nap this afternoon. i can go to bed early if i'm tired. i have a little shopping that i have to do today, but that's about it.

but, today's the last day i get to enjoy this strange "sleeping in" thing. it's the last day for a long time that i'll be able to do what i'm doing now--laze around at home past eight or nine in the morning. sleeping in? i'll miss you. you're always so good to me.
crikey. i remember way too much from eighth grade history class. i don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.

North Carolinian 100%
 

Incredibly Awesome!!! You are knowledgeable in all things North Carolinian!!! From geography and history to tourism and pop culture, you know it all!!! You are the truest of Tarheels!!!

Carolina On Your Mind?
Create MySpace Quizzes

from The Best Fark Thread Ever, regarding the funniest stuff people have ever heard on dates:

Like one day, we were getting into to telling these really bad jokes, like...

"Hey, ask me if I'm a tree."
"Are you a tree?"
"No."

And we were sober, but finding them totally hysterical. So, mid-coitus, she's er.. umm, you know, on her knees bent over, and I had this sandwich in my hand (don't ask... it was dinner time) and so, I put the sandwich down on her back, and kept going...

So she says,
"Hey, ask me if I'm a table?"
"Are you a table?"
"No! Now get that farking sandwich off my back"

I laughed myself flaccid.


really, the guy gets a cookie. the girl gets two cookies. and, frankly, i think i'd do either of them, sight unseen, just for being awesome.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

question of the day: how do you get rid of 20,000 pounds of sodium?

answer: dump it into a lake!!

yes, you probably remember from high school chemistry that you might get some interesting results if you put sodium in water. but...isn't that the fun of it?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

my abilities to do basic physics and math have disappeared.

i'm ashamed of myself.

Friday, January 12, 2007

how did i make it until this morning without discovering the wonders of zork?

bad geek! bad!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

the fact that i laughed at this onion picture/headline combination is proof that i'm a terrible person:

Breakup Letter Taped To Baby



i love it.
"you know i'm not dead
i'm just living in my head"
"the everlasting gaze"
by smashing pumpkins

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

i'm feeling something i didn't feel at all last semester, and i can't decide what to call it. about a third of me wants to call it "motivation." about two-thirds of me wants to call it "an unhealthy and unnatural compulsion."

i have a very busy semester ahead of me, with clinic and classes. the fact that i have to spend 21 hours a week in clinic hit me like a ton of bricks today. put on top of that the fact that i did my first reading for criminal justice administration, and found it fascinating...and all of this added up to the fact that i left trial practice tonight only to crack that CJA book--again--and do my reading for friday.

it was the first time since law school started that i did something as dastardly as read ahead. actually, it may be the first time since high school that i did something so terrible.

i can't put my finger on why i did that today. it feels unnatural. i want to think it's motivation, but i truly think it's something more psychotic than that. motivation feels natural. this feels a lot more...raw, chemical, and crazy. i don't want to get behind. i was so lackadaisical last semester. i got weeks and months behind in my classes and...just let myself. i don't want to do that this semester. i don't want a rerun of last semester. so, it's as if the only way i feel like i can avoid that is to compulsively get my work done as soon as it falls into my lap, so i never have to worry about the stress and shame of falling so far behind again.

sigh. this is one gift horse i should just look in the mouth, but i can't.
are you doing anything at 8pm on Wednesday, January 17th?

if the answer is no, and you're in st. louis...then you really, really should come to Novak's, at 4121 Manchester.

it's the first night of Novak's Idol, their yearly karaoke contest. and...i'm going to be competing!!

so...you should all come, cheer me on, and vote for me! the first night is crucial...twenty-five singers enter, ten singers make it on to the second round.

Monday, January 08, 2007

on one hand, it will be useful for people to get to old orchard mall more easily.

but...this will deskokieswiftify the skokie swift! the entire fun of riding the skokie swift is sitting on the train, looking at the yellow line map that consists entirely of a line between howard and skokie, laughing hysterically, and freaking out all the people on the train! a train with three stops will not be nearly as funny as a train with only two!

if this goes through, it will make me sad.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

i can't believe the new semester starts tomorrow.

i'm very much not ready. it's not for lack of relaxation, as i think the last three weeks have been the laziest three weeks of my life. but, after spending last semester being at turns stressed-out, lackadaisical, and possibly just plain crazy, i'm feeling extremely unsure that i'm going to make it out of this semester unscathed.

i have so much Important Stuff that i have to do this semester.

i have classes, that i have to pass--and preferably get better grades than last semester. i haven't gotten any completely poor grades yet, nothing worse than that embarrassing civ pro grade from last year, but antitrust and evidence haven't come out yet. evidence could be any any possible grade value, whatever kuhns ends up drawing out of his hat. antitrust, i'm pretty sure i booched. if the tens digit of that grade is higher than a 7, i'm going to throw a party. last semester, i had plenty of psychological distractions, stressors, and general trouble. this semester i have no such excuse, and my grades need to not suck. i need to make myself care about school again.

i have trial team, for which i have to get two expert witnesses down pat as soon as possible, and be perfect by the time competition rolls around, the first weekend of march. this means practice four days a week (tuesday nights, friday afternoons, and then all day saturdays and sundays), and then time outside of that to work either independently or with my directing attorneys.

i have environmental moot court...frankly, i'm not quite sure what i'm getting into there, but i know it's going to involve a lot of research and writing. i don't even have a partner yet, which is something i have to rectify as soon as possible.

and then, i have the criminal justice clinic, the most Important Stuff of the Important Stuff. i'm going to be rule 13 certified. i'm going to have real clients. i'm going to have real trials to prepare for. i'm going to have to spend twenty-one hours a week at the public defender's office--and, since fridays are completely out between class in the morning and trial team in the afternoon, i have to do these hours monday through thursday. the good news is, i have most of those days free, but it's still daunting to think that i'll be as good as working while i'm going to school. i was never very good at that. i need to make myself good at it, since i'm going to be what's standing between my clients and going to prison.

my plate is full, and i'm freaking out.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

sigh. it looks like i won't be able to see finger eleven this month when they come to st. louis. that makes me sad.

they're touring with hinder right now. the fact that they're touring with hinder confuses and bothers me, since hinder is absolutely terrible.1 but, oh well. bad bands tour with good ones every so often, bad bands even headline over good bands every so often...it's a concertgoing hazard.

but, the show is sold out. that made me grumble a lot. so, i went on ebay to see if there were any tickets being sold. there are, there are several pairs of tickets. and, they're all almost a hundred dollars for the pairs.

now, i'm in a dilemma. i really want a pair of tickets to that show, so i can go and see finger eleven. i haven't seen finger eleven live since 2003, when they were on tour with cold.2 that's a really long time ago. but, since they're opening, it means they're probably going to get twenty, possibly thirty minutes to play, and no more. i'm wondering if i should go ahead and pay nigh on a hundred bucks for twenty or thirty minutes of bliss, or if i should grudgingly save my money. i know i should be good and save my money, but i feel terrible missing the only one of my two favourite bands who is still together, especially when they play many of their shows in canada and not the states.

***
1 have you ever heard that "lips of an angel" song? four minutes of one cliche after another about having an affair? yep, that song. i'd say it's the worst song of last year, but "animal" by nickelback also came out last year, and "animal" handily beat out "around the world" by daft punk for the worst song ever written. by definition, then, it's the worst song of 2006. "lips of an angel" is, however, a strong second.
2 yes, that's my two favourite bands in the world, touring together. yes, it was the best night of music i've experienced in my entire life...my two favourite bands, playing my favourite venue ever--the metro, in chicago.

Friday, January 05, 2007

do you want a bag of shiny awesomeness?

if so, listen to "happier" by guster.

guster rules, and so does that song.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

after one swordfight against a bot, my alt is now rated higher than my regular pirate ever has been.

i've never been able to get my regular pirate past able, but my alt is now respected oceanwide and distinguished archipelago-wide.

this is bizarre.
squee!!!

i am in officer training with my crew in puzzle pirates...and today, i got to navigate my first pillage! it was awesome...i love it. battle navigation is so much fun. i don't quite have the hang of it yet, but i'm learning--and we actually won one of the battles we were in! (of course, we lost the rumble battle--but won the swordfighting battle!)

i still have a lot to learn--i'd have booched it something fierce if one of my awesome senior officers wasn't on there with me to answer the eight jillion dumb questions i had. but, i got through it, we won a little booty to split among all of us on the ship, and now i have an idea of what sorts of preparation and work go into running a sloop pillage!

*dances*
does this mean i'm crazy?

*halo*

DisorderRating
Paranoid Disorder:Low
Schizoid Disorder:High
Schizotypal Disorder:Very High
Antisocial Disorder:High
Borderline Disorder:Low
Histrionic Disorder:High
Narcissistic Disorder:Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:Moderate
Dependent Disorder:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --

so, i'm back in st. louis, as of last night. the week in chicago was a lot of fun. it was pretty low-key (well, except for all the beer we drank saturday and sunday night, but even so, i didn't do anything stupider than getting booed off the stage a quarter of the way through my drunken attempt to play "you've got another thing coming" on guitar hero, easy mode.) it was awesome to see everyone, and it was awesome to be in my city again.

the next couple days, i need to tie up a few loose ends (grocery shopping, filling out and submitting my rule 13 application), and make sure i'm ready to start the semester. i need to get the semester started on the right foot. i'm scared, because i still don't feel ready to focus on school, and i know from last semester that if i don't start the semester focused on school, that the entire semester will be a disaster. hopefully by sunday, or even monday morning (since my first class is not until 5pm on wednesday), the switch in my head will flip, and i'll be able to devote myself to law school again. but, i'm still afraid it won't, and i don't know what i'm going to do if it doesn't.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

i did this monologue from hamlet in college...and instead of setting it in old-tyme denmark, i set it in a college dormitory. instead of it being a king in a play-within-a-play, i made it the entire performance, i made it anyone who's ever wondered whether their "love" meant anything or not.

i was just thinking about it today, and how much i liked the text of the monologue. it's such a great expression of...resigned, necessary distrust.

player king's monologue
from hamlet by william shakespeare
act III, scene 2


I do believe you think what now you speak;
But what we do determine oft we break.
Purpose is but the slave to memory,
Of violent birth, but poor validity;
Which now, like fruit unripe, sticks on the tree;
But fall, unshaken, when they mellow be.
Most necessary 'tis that we forget
To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt:
What to ourselves in passion we propose,
The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
The violence of either grief or joy
Their own enactures with themselves destroy:
Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
For 'tis a question left us yet to prove,
Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
The great man down, you mark his favourite flies;
The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
And hitherto doth love on fortune tend;
For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
And who in want a hollow friend doth try,
Directly seasons him his enemy.
But, orderly to end where I begun,
Our wills and fates do so contrary run
That our devices still are overthrown;
Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own:
So think thou wilt no second husband wed;
But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

fabulous quote on overheard in chicago today:

Woman: (on cell) "Aw, baby. I miss you too. Yes. I'm in my room at the Drake, about to go to bed. I'll be thinking about you too. Can't wait to get home for some loving. Okay, night.

Friend: "What are you doing in here?"

Woman: "Lying."

- Bathroom at Kitty O'Shea's


i want to buy that woman a beer.

Monday, January 01, 2007

man. boise state made it really, really tense for a while...but they pulled it out. SWEET!!!!!

suck it, oklahoma.
suck it, BCS.
dear jared zabransky,
please look before you throw the pass. the one you just threw...there wasn't a white jersey within five yards of the football. if you had just looked up instead of just assuming that he was going to cut toward the sidelines, the game would still be tied right now.
love,
me
i don't have much in the way of a coherent narrative, but i feel bad that i haven't had anything to say. so...bullet points!

  • happy new year, all! i'm glad it's 2007 now...2006 was not a particularly good year in nickyland, but things are looking up. hopefully, 2007 will be just plain awesome. (and, worse comes to worst, if 2007 is terrible, i graduate law school in 2008, right? i'm almost almost done with school forever.)
  • i drank a beer called "butt head" last night. huh-huh. it was cool.
  • i had the most awesome dream two nights ago. i was samuel l. jackson in snakes on a plane. that's right...i was a total bad-ass, getting the motherfuckin' snakes off the motherfuckin' plane. that dream was a lot of fun, and now i have an overwhelming urge to get on a plane and start killing some snakes.