believe it or not, this is the 2,000th post in this moronic little corner of the internet.
i was tempted not to do any sort of retrospective. i didn't do one at 1,000 posts, and there's no reason why this blog actually needs one. but, as i saw the post count click up i was tempted to think a little about what this blog started as, what it has been, and what it has become...and a nice round number is as good an excuse as any to do that.
when i started this thing back in the summer of 2003, i was aspiring to something literary. i named it "alone with all my wrongs" after a line from "letters" by stroke 9, and i posted fragments of poetry, stories, and the like. i intended to put them here, go back to them, revise them, and make Works Of Art.
that plan ran into several problems. i'd post fragments up here and never get back to them. i didn't have any readers at the time, so i never got any suggestions about where to go from the fragments or what to do with them when i did return to revise them. i also realised that i prefer doing my Serious Creative Writing with pens and paper.
that plan lasted all of thirteen posts, and i abandoned this place for three months.
i started losing it around november of 2003, and needed a place to rant. my fourth year of college was a pretty bad time for me, between family issues, disillusionment with school, and not quite being sure what i was going to do with myself after i graduated, since the idea of going straight out to law school made me sick. i needed a place to unload my neuroses. i had kept a blog before this one, a blog that i did use to rant in as well as (more often) discuss my days. since i started it at the behest of someone with whom i had fallen out, i decided i would not go back. instead...i abandoned for good the idea of making this a place of High Creative Art, and instead made it my personal rantspace.
i still kept the name "alone with all my wrongs." it still fit.
those early posts contained very little narration of my days, and a lot of discussion of my personal issues. sometimes it was in my own words, and sometimes it was in the form of song lyrics that captured my mental state at the time. either way, it was extremely incoherent and extremely depressing--as my life was, at that point.
as my life got more stable, it started to contain a lot more discussions of my daily life, and a lot more random observations, news, and uncategorizable stuff. that's pretty much how it has been since then...it has taken a slow drift to the impersonal, but i'm okay with that. i do personal rants when i need to, although there is a lot more goofy-observation content.
there was just the little matter of the name change. i decided that by august 2005, when i left chicago and moved to st. louis for law school, a name change was in order. i just wasn't "alone with all my wrongs" anymore. i considered two names: "mississippi classroom" and "the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker". one of my friends told me that i should choose the latter, as i am "cheap! cheap! fun! fun!"...and i obliged.
i think that name is a better fit, anyway, for the silliness that has inhabited this place over the last two and a half years. the current name implies a sort of unbalanced whimsy. it implies a place set up by the kooky, for the kooky.
"mississippi classroom" would have had a similarly depressing cast to the old name: according to phil ochs' song "here's to the state of mississippi", "every single classroom is a factory of despair...and there's nobody learning such a foreign word as fair." that would have been quite fitting for certain phases of law school...but not the entire thing. there have been a lot more persecuted crack smoker moments than there have been factory-of-despair moments.
and...that brings us to now. i'm going to stop thinking about this blog and its insignificant history, because this is probably the most boring, mentally masturbatory post i've ever made here.