Monday, September 10, 2007

vh1 storytellers: jonathan lee riches ©.

who knew? jonathan lee riches © is an international diamond dealer...and a master storyteller. he tells such a compelling story about running into iron mike at a nightclub in cedar falls, iowa. (why he would claim to be clubbing in iowa, of all places, is beyond me...but it is rather amusing.)

this lawsuit contains what may be my all-time favourite passage in a jonathan lee riches © suit ever:

"Tyson heard the Michael Jackson i was listening to and screamed out 'who listens to this crap.' Mr. Tyson went in back of the jukebox, unplugged it, plugged it back in, then put coins in the machine and programmed it to play Culture Club's 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me.'"

that's a priceless mental image...and, since it's jonathan lee riches ©, the story only gets weirder from there. this is actually very strange for him...instead of reciting strings of counts that have very little to do with each other, he instead tells one coherent, albeit strange and fictional, story about one defendant. looks like jonny sue-nami is expanding his repertoire!

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somehow, that is not the only new lawsuit of his that was filed today. jonathan lee riches © also sued 50 cent today. that suit provided some interesting revelations. i learned that he starred in the karate kid--and pee wee's big adventure!

and, i really want to attend the jonathan lee riches © school of entertainment.

2 comments:

lawschoolrules said...

You might want to be careful with your infatuation, with eyes like these, you may have a prison pen pal before you know it.

nicolle said...

hahaha..infatuation? that's definitely the wrong word for it...i've seen that picture, and i never want to see that guy in real life. he looks scary...and he'll probably steal my identity.

i just find his lawsuits hilarious...he's found a very strange avenue for it, of course, but he's fast becoming one of my favourite humour authors. :D

although, funny you should mention that...my friend suggested last week that we should write this guy in prison. that's probably a terrible idea, though.