Thursday, July 05, 2007

this is a story i heard a while ago, but forgot to post here. it's one i heard from one of the partners, about quite possibly the dumbest thing anyone has ever done that has led to a no-offer.

we all know the classic no-offer scenarios: turning in consistently terrible work, being rude to the support staff, being rude to the attorneys, getting way too drunk at all of the firm events and acting like an unprofessional moron...all the stuff that career services advises you not to do.

sometimes, though, people come up with new ways to be morons.

there was a guy who summered at my firm a few years ago. at the firm, there are kitchens on every floor. the kitchens have various drinks for the people to have while working: coffee, tea, and hot cocoa. there is a protocol--it's not that hard. if you are thirsty, or cold, or just want something nice and caffeinated, you go there and get a drink. common sense, right?

well, on this guy's floor, meeting services noticed that every night, the hot cocoa drawer was empty. they would refill it, and the next night it would be gone again. it was very bizarre...since the coffee and tea are more popular anyway, especially during the summer. the drawer is big. it holds a lot of packets of hot cocoa. but, every night...it was all gone.

it turns out this summer associate was stealing all of the hot cocoa. every day.

apparently his work was pretty mediocre, too, but that just put him over the top. way to go, dude. way to push yourself toward a no-offer by stealing a lifetime supply of hot cocoa. you could have been slick. you could have taken a few envelopes a day and stockpiled them. no one would have found out. but no, you were too stupid. you had to have it all, right then. you had to have all the hot cocoa. and, you blew your shot at an offer.

moron.

so, my advice to all of you 0Ls and 1Ls out there who will soon be applying for summer associate positions? don't steal all the hot chocolate.

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