Saturday, June 09, 2007

i guess that last post was a little cryptic, and i should explain it a little more. :)

ten years ago yesterday was the first time i ever heard "the freshmen" by the verve pipe. hearing that song just plain changed my life. i wasn't really all that into music at that point. i hadn't really come into much of an identity yet...i was a loner, a loser, i had just finished my freshman year of high school, and i really had no idea who i was.

that song changed it.

i loved that song. i heard it, and it tapped into something that i didn't know i had. i spent that summer doing nothing but listening to music, and writing. i started with just the verve pipe, and picked up more bands along the way. the lyrics meant something to me...they described my life and my feelings better than i thought anyone could.

and, i wrote. most of what i wrote was awful...i look back and read all those notebooks i wrote that summer, and most of it was bad teenage poetry. but, it did something important. it, along with hearing and thinking about all the lyrics from all the songs i was listening to, helped me figure out what was real for me. it helped me start to realise that i could have an identity, a self-identity, something different than what everyone thought of me. that was comforting and freeing, since people generally ignored me at that point. it made me a little more introspective, and a lot less concerned with what people thought of me.

and, it all built out from hearing that song for the first time, ten years ago. happy tenth birthday, to nicolle as we know her.

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