Wednesday, February 28, 2007

i'm a bad person, and i'm skipping CJA today. that extra hour of sleep is the shiny.

it's especially necessary since, at 11 today, i'm getting in a car, going to kansas city, and my life will become all trial team, all the time, for five days. i'm looking forward to the frustrated as i've been, i love competition. i especially love trial competition. this is what i live for, and i'm ready to kick some serious posterior. yesterday is the first time that i've actually felt comfortable with my defense witness, and that makes me happy.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

i'm in a good mood, despite the fact that trial team is a bloody mess, and kind of the bane of my existence right now. i'm concentrating on the fun things, the happy things. barrister's ball was absolutely awesome last night. tonight was likewise pretty darned shiny, i went to dinner at the drunken fish with a bunch of my friends. i'm going to bed early tonight, so maybe i'll be well-rested tomorrow. it's only two more days before i go to kansas city for the trial tournament...and no matter how pissed off i am about the situation with trial team right now, it's always nice to go out of town, and i know myself well enough to know that when i walk into that courtroom for the round, i'm going to be excited, and ready to kick some butt.

i'm doing well.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

i'm all dressed up for barrister's.

and i'm hot. i'm really hot. if i could, i'd do me.

hey! top gunner! what's up, guys? too busy gunning and/or writing law review articles to indulge in such a pedestrian pursuit as making fun of gunners?

i'm disappointed in you.
i love suggested searches on google.

i accidentally typed a 2 in the toolbar. what was the first suggested addition to my search terms?

"= 2.71828183"

*The Hugs for The Google*
"as a man, anything that makes me feel better...will make me do better, as a man."

i'll give you one guess as to who said this.

gonna go puke now, kthxbye.
you're all familiar with the scapegoat, right?

i think i've found a way to make law school stop being like high school.

the entire student body gets together in the lounge. we bring a llama into the lounge. one by one, each student walks by the llama, touches its head, and tells the llama what sorts of juvenile, asinine law student drama is really driving them crazy. after everyone has done so, the llama is taken away and left to wander in the wilderness for the rest of its days, never to come near the law school again. then, we can live happily ever after, free from all of the drama that has been imparted to the llama and thus exiled. law school will not be like high school anymore.

if it works with scapegoats, it should work with drama llamas, right?

Friday, February 23, 2007

i'm so sleepy.

i want to go to bed, and not wake up until it's time to go to barrister's tomorrow night.

barrister's is going to be so much fun. i'm going to be in a shiny dress, with my shiny new shoes and purse that i got on monday, and the really shiny necklace that hilary made me. i'm going to look shiny. barrister's is going to be full of shiny.
AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! the Evil Awful Environmental Moot Court Brief Of Doom is DONE!!!!!!! i was running around the hallways with my partner SQUEAKING WITH GLEE when we printed and stapled those final drafts of the paper!!!!!!!

such a huge weight off my shoulders.

and, i even slept last night! it was only two hours of fitful sleep on the law school couches, from 3:30 until 5:30, but i slept!

life is good.
this evening, right after dinner, the weirdest thing in which i've been involved in a very long time transpired. i was out at avanti, this little restaurant off the loop down melville, getting dinner after trial class and before karaoke. i was up at the register, settling my tab with the manager. as he's taking my payment for my meal, a guy in jeans, a t-shirt, and a sideways hat walks into the restaurant.

manager: what are you doing here? you're supposed to be here at 12! it's 9!
guy: ::shrugs::
manager: what are you doing here? it's 9 o'clock!

manager turns to me

manager: you judge him!
me: what?
manager: you judge him! what do you think about someone who's supposed to show up at 12, and he's here at nine?
me: twelve at night? he's three hours early?
manager: no! twelve in the morning!
me: tomorrow?
manager: today! he was supposed to be here at 12 today! he's here at 9! he's nine hours late!

manager turns back to guy

manager: you were nine hours late! i'll have her judge you.
me: what do you mean, judge?
manager: should i fire him? if you were the manager, would you fire him for being nine hours late?
me: is it the first time he's been late like that without telling you?
manager: no! he's done it a hundred times!
guy: well, not a hundred.
me: if i were the manager, and i had someone who repeatedly came in late without telling me, i guess i would fire him.
manager: that's it, then. you're fired. get out of here.

holy awkwardness, batman. i think i got some dude fired today. i'm still taken aback that he put me on the spot like that.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

i got cast in a skit for barely legal! SQUEEEEEE!!!!
conversation between me and a schoolmate:

him: what are the issues in the moot court brief.
me: oh gosh. a lot of them are civil procedure questions. this one i'm writing's about federal common law...erie doctrine crap. erie doctrine crap that i never understood. i never got civpro. i tanked it, i sucked at it.
him: at about the point i got to talking about erie ...hi!

i finished my rant, looked up, and figured out who my friend was waving to. it was my civ pro professor from last year. who just heard me bitching loudly and clearly about erie. and about what crap it was. and talking about the fact that i just didn't get it.

is tired.
is dizzy.
is going to sleep now.
back up in a couple hours...guess i'll find time to work on this thing tomorrow, either in class, or in my couple hours between classes tomorrow afternoon, or overnight tomorrow, or something. i have two of my three issues written, and my third one outlined, but i just can't go on. i've been working on this brief for the last nine hours straight, and there's only so much environmental law that one brain can take before deciding to revolt.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court. i hate moot court.

any questions?
moot court sucks, i'm nowhere near where i need to be on it, and as a result, i'm not sleeping tonight. i was going to get work done on it yesterday, but i had trial team until after 11pm. i just crashed after that.

but, in better news...i tried out for barely legal (the law school show/musical) yesterday! i hope i make it...that would be so much fun to sing and act. it would be such a great outlet, compared to ::shudder:: law school. i think i did pretty well, and i think i surprised the judges because none of them knew i could sing. :) i guess we'll see how it went when they post the cast list, right?

two days until that moot court brief is out of my hair. thank goodness.
three days until barrister's, when i get to wear my shiny dress, drink a lot of cocktails, and watch the drama unfold! yay!

Monday, February 19, 2007

i have seven days' worth of music on my iTunes--2740 songs. it's playing on shuffle, and the live version of "stealing from the joneses" by emmet swimming was playing. it ended. what played next?

the studio version of "stealing from the joneses" by emmet swimming.

it really doesn't take much to amuse or distract me when i'm trying to write this moot court brief, does it?
if you want five questions...comment with the words "interview me", and then post in your blog the answers to the questions i ask you. :)

this is my interview from lykaios.

1. Worst thing you've ever done?

quitting piano lessons when i was nine years old. it's the only thing i have done that i truly regret. i can barely plunk out a melody with one hand on the piano...and i just know that if i had kept up with taking lessons, i could be a pretty decent pianist. i just didn't have the strength to keep on taking the lessons when i was that young, and now that i'm old enough to care so much, i don't have the time to take them.

maybe when i'm older.

2. Best thing you've ever done?

attending college at the university of chicago. it was a great place for me...i met so many people that i got along so well with, who are still my closest friends in the world, and i learned so much about myself along the way. i also moved to a city that i fell in love with, a city that, once i'm done with law school, i'm returning to and spending the rest of my life in.

3. What animal would you get if you could have any animal as a pet without anything bad happening and it would be perfectly legal?

a gentoo penguin. i am so obsessed with penguins...i think they are the cutest animals ever, and the gentoo are my favourite because they are so silly.

really, i'd prefer to have multiple gentoo penguins, because the reason that they are my favourite kind of penguins is their group behaviour. when one of them gets amused by waddles toward it and makes noises, and then the rest of the gentoo do the same. then it decides there's nothing all that amusing...until another gentoo finds something funny.

4. Weirdest Dream?

this is a toughie, since i don't remember a whole lot of my dreams.

the weirdest one i've had recently was really only a snippet...but the snippet was weird enough. it involved finding an article in a magazine about one of the public defenders that i work with being a music reporter for MTV before going to law school and working for the public defender. it was weird because it didn't make any sense.

5. TV show you watch or used to watch that may be embarrassing?

i am a bad reality show junkie. the bottom of that barrel has got to be the Flavor of's like the Bachelor, but with Flavor Flav as the bachelor. it's such trash, and i loved it. i have seen every episode of both seasons of it, and as soon as i have some money, i am buying the DVDs. the show is nothing short of rampant stupidity. it's fantastic...trash television at its most inane.
i finally got my ten thousandth post on perjuries last night. that means i'm officially a mock god.

it's good i can obtain the status of a mock trial deity that way, since there's no way i'd attain it by, well, actually mocking. :)

...all self-deprecating jokes aside, though, i love that forum. i love that forum, and i love [most of] the people on it. it keeps me plugged into the world of college mock trial, something i love so much even though there has been so little opportunity to get involved in it here in st. louis. (when i move back to chicago, i plan to be coaching a college team again. i miss it so much, and i can't wait to be able to do it again.)

i've been posting on it for four years, ever since i was a college mock trialer, and i intend to keep posting on it for a long time to come. it really is my favourite corner of the internet.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

i love a ridiculous pun.

but, even better than a ridiculous a ridiculous pun with an elaborate setup.

i love pearls before swine. stephan pastis is a genius.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

dear everyone i know,

next time i ever even skirt the idea of doing a moot court activity, your job is to beat me upside the head with a clue stick. the clue stick can be any large, heavy object suitable for whacking me upside the head. this includes, but is not limited to, a baseball bat, a lead pipe, a tyre iron, a blackjack, or a thick tree branch with the words "no, you idiot!" etched in mirror image on the exact part of the stick that would come into contact with my forehead.

signing up for environmental moot court was a bad idea. i can't bring myself to care enough about fictitious villages in canada in which fictitious citizens are losing their fictitious livelihoods due to fictitious greenhouse gas emissions that may have emanated from fictitious power plants in a fictitious american state.

if i'm going to do a fake case, it had better at least include some blood and guts--and had better not skirt the issue of standing. this is why mock trial is far superior to moot court.

in eternal frustration,
the persecuted crack smoker
i should be going to bed.

it's four thirty in the morning. this afternoon, my friend got the bright idea of going out for some late-night skiing at hidden valley, this ski place out in eureka (about a forty minute drive southwest of st. louis). despite the fact that i've got trial team at 9am tomorrow, i took him up on it--i had never been skiing before, and it's something i had always wanted to do. it ended up being me, him, and another law student going--which was awesome, the other student who went with us was really fun. i didn't even know her until today, and neither did the friend of mine who suggested the ski trip, but it was really shiny.

i was doing alright on the bunny hills. i could do the bunny hill, and the other not-so-steep hill, without falling. my calves and ankles were starting to get sore, but even turning was getting to be fairly natural-feeling.

then, after a short break, the mastermind of this whole expedition (and someone who has done a TON of skiing) gets the bright idea that we should try one of the real hills. we were going to do one of the easier ones, but since it was the last run of the night, they were closing the hills down--and only let the three of us down one of the harder trails. it wasn't the hardest one there, but it started with a VERY steep slope.

i failed miserably. i started skiing down, trying to wedge and keep myself going as slowly as no avail. i picked up speed until i lost control and fell--hitting my head extremely hard against the snow. i was down for a while, stunned, absolutely petrified of the steep slope, figuring out what in the world i was going to do to get off that hill--it was two forty five in the morning, and the ski place closed at three. i got up, walked down the rest of the really steep part, and then tried to ski down a less steep part of the hill. that worked okay when it was almost flat, and then when it got steeper again...i flew out of control and fell over, again. at least this time i did not hit my head.

that time i decided to walk down the rest of the hill, but i couldn't really get up. neither of my skis had come loose from the bindings in that fall. my hat had flown ten feet up the hill from me, one pole had flown twenty feet uphill from me, and my other pole had flown twenty feet downhill from me. i was stuck.

finally, with a little help from both my friend who can ski, as well as the ski patrol, i got my hat and poles back. i got up, attempted to find a way to get down along with my friend who could ski...but that wasn't working out so well; our skis kept getting tangled. finally i took off my skis, walked down the last part of the harsher slope, and then skied the gentle bottom slope to the lodge to return my skis.

that hill was hard, but i'm glad i tried it. the bunny hills were getting pretty easy, so i needed to try something more interesting. interesting means i'm now covered in bruises, and am going to be even more sore than i was originally going to be...but that was fun. i want to go skiing again.

but right now, it's time for bed. i have to be up in...less than four hours. squee.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

"i'm such an asshole
i'm such a stain
i just keep fucking up again and again"
"I Don't Believe"
by Stabbing Westward

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

just when i thought google couldn't get any cooler...we now have google transit. it's a transit trip planner--you can type in where you start, where you need to go, and what time you desire to depart your starting point or arrive at your destination.

but, it has multiple cities! it only has nine systems now, but hopefully it will add more systems as time goes by. it's now in testing. but, it will be so shiny when it has cities all over the country, and even all over the globe. it will astronomical compendium of public transit knowledge, all in one place!!


Monday, February 12, 2007

blatant copycattery, i know, but i haven't done one of these things in a while.

besides, procrastination is fun.

without further's a nicky quiz!!! see how much useless stuff you know about me.
barrister's ball 2007: T minus 12 days.

now all i need are some shiny shoes that go with my shiny dress, and i'm good to go.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

wow. the weather in st. louis sure is smoking crack.

so today, it's about 45 degrees outside. it feels positively summery outside, given that it's the first day that the temperature has been above freezing in what seems like weeks and weeks.

all of a sudden, a moment ago, the severe weather icon popped up on my weather bar. i was confused--it's warm and sunny and, well, not severe-looking outside.

it's a winter weather advisory. monday night and tuesday morning, we'll be getting six inches of snow.

i thought the weather in chicago was crazy, but apparently it doesn't hold a candle to st. louis in that regard.
i can't talk, still.

this is bad. i can't do anything. i can't chat with my friends. i can't do trial. i can't meet about moot court, since that involves discussing the issues--anything that i don't need a voice for, i can do alone on westlaw. i can't practice the music i need to practice for my voice lessons.

NTC regionals are this week, and i need to talk through directs, crosses, closings. how am i supposed to do that without a voice?

monday's a holiday, and the public defender is not open--but what about tuesday? tuesday, i'll have to do jail interviews--lots of them. how am i supposed to talk to my clients if i can't, well, talk?

i had come to take the fact that i could talk for granted. talking is my life. everything i do involves talking, and lots of it.

and now it's been snatched away from me.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

what's the greatest thing ever?

that's right, the corset i ordered to wear with my barrister's dress. i was a little wary 'cause i had to order it online. i had no choice, i couldn't find one in the stores that worked, but i don't like buying stuff like that until i have a shot to try it on.

i had no reason to worry, and if only i didn't have that sore throat/laryngitis/whatever has taken my voice away today, i would be squeefully running around my apartment. my corset makes my chest look even, and pretty, and makes my boobs stay in the right place. yes, i know. things like "making your chest looking even" and "making your boobs staying in the right place" are things that one should usually demand from a bra. that's what a bra is supposed to do. but, finding one that does that if your boobs are any bigger than about a D or DD is almost impossible.

all i know now is that i wish i had a couple hundred dollars so i could go back online and buy a bunch more of those things in all different colours. it's strapless, but it provides so much better support than even most of the stuff with straps that i own. we're talking industrial-strength wires and boning in that thing. think along the lines of the inner steel structuring that makes buildings like the sears tower and the hancock tower not fall over. the history channel should have a new special: modern marvels--nicolle's new corset.

Friday, February 09, 2007

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate.
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


these questions are from ikkle:

1. Where were you born?
kettering, ohio

2. Who is your favourite family member?
barkley (the miniature schnauzer) is very cute and fuzzy :D

3. Which school subject made your brain die?
high school history made my brain was all about memorizing dates, and not actually about thinking.

4. If you could watch only one TV show for life, which would it be?
beavis and butt-head. it's been my favourite for years. my sense of humour makes it so obvious that i'm a twelve-year-old boy trapped in a twenty-four-year-old girl's body. that show cracks me up.

5. Which websites do you visit most often?
too many--because i'm so addicted to the 'net it's not even funny. anyway, i'm incessantly on (a mock trial forum that i have almost ten thousand posts on),, the facebook, ('cause i'm a weird news junkie)...and then, a ton of blogs that i keep up with.
warning: blatant pimping ahead--blatant pimping of something that deserves to be blatantly pimped.

i can't believe i've never found the blank top chronicles before. this blog is absolutely hysterical. it's written by an extremely sarcastic cab dispatcher in arlington, virginia. it consists of conversations that he has with some extremely stupid customers.

do not read this blog in class, or anywhere else where it may be uncouth to fall on the floor, in stitches. because, i promise, you will fall on the floor in stitches when you read this. for example, here's an excerpt from the most recent entry, about a dumbass in texas who called this cab company in virginia:

ME: Blank Top, your phone number please?
GUY: Yes I have been waiting almost half an hour and nobody is coming.
ME: You're at ------- Hall?
GUY: Yes, how much longer?
ME: Hard to say, probably like ten o'clock tomorrow night if the driver doesn't stop to sleep.
GUY: Pardon me? ten o'clock tomorrow night?
ME: Well yeah. I told you three times we're an Arlington Virginia taxi. It takes a while to get from Virginia to Texas. If you wanted it sooner you should have called a company in Arlington Texas.

and, it only gets better from there...that's why the blog deserves to be blatantly pimped. i hereby give brian, the guy who writes the blank top chronicles, the inaugural Persecuted Crack Smoker Award for Hilariously Mocking Stupid People.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

there's nothing i can say about this little bit of misogyny that The Foof hasn't said better already.

but, it suffices to say that i love vagina. i love my vagina. i love the word vagina.

and i don't want anyone calling that part of my body a hoohaa instead.

"the hoohaa monologues"? i wish i was kidding. some parent got pissed off that a theatre was showing the vagina monologues, and advertising it on the marquee as such. they decided that children often call the vagina a "hoohaa"--and that it would be better for the children if they put "the hoohaa monologues" on the marquee.

isn't the whole point of the vagina monologues to bring the vagina into the public consciousness? to bring people face to face with women, women's bodies, and women's sexuality? to make the word "vagina" less taboo? that's what i always thought.

yes, i understand it's a comedy theatre, by trade. but, they didn't even consult with the director of the play. a suggestion was made by some stupid parent who thought that the word "vagina" would corrupt her kid. some guy who worked for the theatre decided that "hoohaa" would be less offensive.

if the play were a comedy, or being presented as such, it wouldn't be so bad. but, it's not. it's being run to raise awareness of women's issues, and to raise money for charity. it's not about my hoohaa, or anyone's purported hoohaa.

it's about the vagina.

which is a completely different thing.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

lately, i've been getting into scambaiting. it's basically the fine art of wasting as much of those email scammers' time as possible by sending hoax emails from fake people back to them, and stringing them along. i'm not very good at it yet...i'm just in the early phases of my first bait, and i'm not doing anything funny with it. i'm doing a straightforward bait, just kinda playing dumb and naive, "i'm soooooo sorry he died in the plane crash and i'll do anything i can to help get the money out!"

some people, some of the experienced scambaiters, or the just plain funny people, do things that are awesome, things i aspire to as a rookie scambaiter. one of the things that a lot of baiters try to do is get trophies from their baits. usually these come in the forms of pictures--photos of the scammers holding up signs that say really silly things on them. although, sometimes it gets better. i think shiver metimbers, one of the baiters on, just set the gold standard of scambaiting trophies.

he got the scammers to make a video.

of themselves.

acting out the dead parrot sketch.

from monty python.

that makes me so happy. it's just absurd. it's...419 scammers! doing the dead parrot sketch! with a fake dead duck! it's just inspired.
things i'm bad at:
  • responsibility
  • humour
  • knowing when to give up
things i'm good at:
  • screwing up my life when i was so determined not to
it's a pathetic excuse for a shield, i know it.

Monday, February 05, 2007

yesterday, i got a gorgeous light turquoise dress for barrister's. it's's strapless, it's elegant, but not too plain. i'm psyched about it.

today, since i didn't have one, i bought a white, lacy corset to go under the barrister's dress.

yes, i know, it's kind of silly--why am i flipping out and spending all this money on hot clothes for barrister's if i don't have a date?

because it's fun. because formal events are the one girlie pleasure that i indulge. barrister's only comes once a year, and it's the one day that i allow myself to give a shit about how i look. i don't do that any other time of year--frankly, i don't care how i look. i know i'm not an attractive human being; i never have been. i'm okay with that, and i act accordingly.

but, when barrister's rolls around, it's fun to pretend.
i think i need about five nickies to do everything i need to get done this month.

that's not a good feeling.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

last night, i was going to be good. i was going to stay in, either do some work or just lay low, go to bed early...all those things i never do, since i'm either busy doing work, or i'm busy painting the town red to the extent that a law student can. (well, to the extent that a law student who is not Charla can. 'cause, really, Charla is better at painting the town red than anyone i know, law student or not.)

but then Matt, a friend from karaoke, calls me up. he'd been trying to get me and Hilary to come out to overland for some karaoke for a while. so, instead of staying in, i called Hilary, and we went and met up with Matt for some karaoke out there.

it was interesting. we went out to this bar called chazzez place, out on lackland. we got lost on the way there, because somewhere just west of where the bar is supposed to be, lackland turns into...well, Not Lackland. but, we finally got there. i sang one of my standards ("my heart will go on") and one piece of early-nineties kitsch that i butchered, but in the most amusing possible way ("whoomp! there it is").1

the craziest thing, by far, that happened was...the barfight. well, two barfights. we're sitting at the table, minding our own business, and listening to two people on the stage sing "lights" by journey. all of a sudden, i hear what sounds like a table falling over. sure enough, i turn back, and there's a full-blown bar brawl. some people were on the floor, punching each other's lights out, while a bunch of people were crowded around them, watching. it goes on for a few minutes, until some of the bar patrons break it up, and it looks to be pretty much over except for the guy that's still lying on the floor, knocked out.

we turn back to the table, and talk about what we had just seen. i note how i'm not really fazed by barfights. Hilary responds that they're not a huge deal, as long as they're not happening right by her.

and just as she says that, two more fighting patrons come whizzing behind mine and Hilary's chairs, and another barfight breaks out right behind where we're sitting. none of us got hit, but it goes on for a little while. the punching stops, and we see a waitress yelling at a patron three times her size, trying to kick him out, as he refuses, saying that he's not causing any trouble.

the cops soon take control of the scene--they came rather fast, since there's an overland police station just down lackland from the bar. the police try and figure out who was involved in the fights, and most of the people who were involved try to leave the premises as quickly as possible, to avoid retribution from the police. an ambulance comes, the paramedics come into the bar, and they take care of the guy on the floor who is still knocked out, and not moving, from the first barfight.

finally, the paramedics leave. the police leave. the people involved in the fight are gone. karaoke resumes, and the karaoke man allows the people who were singing "lights" to take the stage again. this time, they finish their song without interruption.

1 proving once and for all that big old nerdy white chicks can't rap.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

this product makes me want to smoke crack, jump off a bridge, or do something equally self-destructive.

You know it. With the lights out, it’s less dangerous. These lullaby renditions of Nirvana’s best-loved songs turn the volume way down, while turning up the dreaminess of their pop hooks. In many ways, this album echoes the simple pleasures and innocence of infancy and childhood. Childish tra-la-la’s tempered the distortion of Nirvana’s own songs. Chimes, glockenspiels and other gentle instruments temper Nirvana’s wild spirit for your little one. “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” Smells like nap time.

gentle instruments? in nirvana? i think it's about time for dave grohl, krist novoselic, and the ghost of kurt cobain to open a can of whoop-ass on whoever is behind baby rock records.

come on, guys. if you're going to play nirvana for your kids, play nirvana for your kids. the real nirvana. with guitars--not glockenspiels.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

i'm going to be speaking in court for the first time today!

by court, i mean real court. not mock court. not playing an attorney in a mock trial round in a real courtroom. but...real court, defending a client in a preliminary hearing.

you ever seen the beavis and butt-head episode where the boys were in sex ed, and coach buzzcut didn't allow them to laugh all week?

yeah, it's kinda like that.