i can't believe the new semester starts tomorrow.
i'm very much not ready. it's not for lack of relaxation, as i think the last three weeks have been the laziest three weeks of my life. but, after spending last semester being at turns stressed-out, lackadaisical, and possibly just plain crazy, i'm feeling extremely unsure that i'm going to make it out of this semester unscathed.
i have so much Important Stuff that i have to do this semester.
i have classes, that i have to pass--and preferably get better grades than last semester. i haven't gotten any completely poor grades yet, nothing worse than that embarrassing civ pro grade from last year, but antitrust and evidence haven't come out yet. evidence could be any any possible grade value, whatever kuhns ends up drawing out of his hat. antitrust, i'm pretty sure i booched. if the tens digit of that grade is higher than a 7, i'm going to throw a party. last semester, i had plenty of psychological distractions, stressors, and general trouble. this semester i have no such excuse, and my grades need to not suck. i need to make myself care about school again.
i have trial team, for which i have to get two expert witnesses down pat as soon as possible, and be perfect by the time competition rolls around, the first weekend of march. this means practice four days a week (tuesday nights, friday afternoons, and then all day saturdays and sundays), and then time outside of that to work either independently or with my directing attorneys.
i have environmental moot court...frankly, i'm not quite sure what i'm getting into there, but i know it's going to involve a lot of research and writing. i don't even have a partner yet, which is something i have to rectify as soon as possible.
and then, i have the criminal justice clinic, the most Important Stuff of the Important Stuff. i'm going to be rule 13 certified. i'm going to have real clients. i'm going to have real trials to prepare for. i'm going to have to spend twenty-one hours a week at the public defender's office--and, since fridays are completely out between class in the morning and trial team in the afternoon, i have to do these hours monday through thursday. the good news is, i have most of those days free, but it's still daunting to think that i'll be as good as working while i'm going to school. i was never very good at that. i need to make myself good at it, since i'm going to be what's standing between my clients and going to prison.
my plate is full, and i'm freaking out.