Thursday, August 31, 2006

sigh. according to this flavor of love blog that i read, VH1 is doing a female spinoff called "the flavorette." i can't see how it could be at all as amusing as flavor of love...flavor flav giving out his clocks will never get old, but i can't see how the concept could be at all the same if it were a girl.

although, the blog speculates that the flavorette will be either hottie or new york from last season. if it's new york, it'll be a train wreck...she's psychotic, and i can't see her carrying a show at all...much less there being twenty men that would want to pursue her, given how possessive she was of flav on the show. i can't see that show being amusing at all.

whereas, if it's hottie, i'll definitely give it a shot. i don't know what kind of men would pursue her, but she is definitely stupid, in that amusing way--amusing-stupid enough to possibly, just possibly, carry her own show. granted, it would be less about the men and more about trying to see what sort of moronic capers hottie would get herself into next. but, it could possibly be the funniest thing on television...because if she'd dumb enough to think that she can cook a raw chicken in the microwave by pushing the chicken button, any show she starred in would be the epitome of trash tv.

[well, second to the epitome. that award still goes to Eye For An Eye.]

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

i have a new computer charger, as of yesterday evening. this means i can type my notes in class. this means i can check my email without having to mooch off someone's computer, or go to the computer lab. this means i can play poker again, something i haven't done online in about two weeks, since my last computer charger died. it also means i can go back to beating up the greeks in my game of civ 3. i can stay as on top of perjuries and blogger and lj and facebook and myspace and fark as i usually am.

in other words, it's back to life as usual. i feel like i have a vital organ back.

Monday, August 28, 2006

metalocalypse is the shiniest thing that Adult Swim has brought since harvey birdman. it's a spoof on heavy metal bands...basically the premise of the show is that dethklok, this cartoonishly over-the-top heavy metal band, is the biggest band in the world. they get into capers...metal capers.

the first episode had people wondering if they had sold out, because they were doing a coffee jingle. the coffee jingle is FANTASTIC.



the lyrics to the coffee jingle are just hilarious:

Do You Folks Like Coffee
Real Coffee
From the Hills Of Colombia

Then Duncan Hills Will Wake You
From A Thousand Deaths
A Cup Of Life Blood
(Dying Dying)
You're Dying For A Cup

Guatemala Blend
Ethiopian
French Vanilla Roast
(Dying Dying)
You're Dying For A Cup

Prepare For Ultimate Flavor
You're Gonna Get Some Milk
And Scream For Your Cream

Duncan Hills
Duncan Hills
Duncan Hills

COFFEE!


it comes on the cartoon network at 10:45 central time on sunday nights...or whenever you want, on adult swim fix (on the adult swim website--you can watch shows for free on your computer!)

yeah, i know. i'm plugging a tv show. but, it's just TOO GOOD not to plug--i look forward to it every sunday night.

Friday, August 25, 2006

today is an amazing day. two of my core geekeries were handed a large bag of shiny, and it makes life great.

mock trial geekery: the tryout case came out today! i spent the afternoon reading it and doing some preliminary hashing out on it with a few people, and tomorrow we're meeting to do some more structured thinking and planning on it. i'm doing the defense...which is going to be interesting, given that the defendant is not the king of jury sympathy--he's charged with kidnapping (or, as the case says, "kidnaping"...haha...) and felony-murder in the death of a fourteen-year-old girl. furthermore, he's a registered sex offender who's been convicted in the past of...what else...molesting teenage girls. he's referred to in the case as "Grouper the Groper." this will be a fun little puzzle...find a defense that a jury will buy.

as a footnote to that...everything in that case is named after fish. i'm going to have a very hard time keeping a straight face while i talk about richard grouper and sarah salmon and david mackerel for fifteen minutes. furthermore, i'm going to keep wanting to call them "flounders", since a witness i played for trial team last year was named leigh flounders. we'll see if i can keep myself together, and not giggle about the fish or calling people by the wrong one.

transit geekery: the wash u shuttle system is, as of this weekend, being enfolded into the metrobus system. today, when i got to school on the shuttle, there was a METROBUS parked outside mallinckrodt center (the student union)!!! the people outside the metrobus were handing out all sorts of goodies! they included:

  • maps of the two wash u tailored bus routes starting up this weekend
  • a map of the metrolink system
  • a brochure about all the changes happening to metro this weekend
  • a magnet with the website for metro's Trip Finder feature
  • a metro system map
  • and, the real coup de grace, the shiniest thing i've ever received from public transit anywhere: a bound book with every single metrobus on the missouri side, complete with route diagrams and timetables!
i felt like a kid in a candy store when i got that stuff...i had a big dumb grin on my face that i couldn't wipe off if i tried. hooray for now having every bit of metro info i need at my fingertips, even if i can't get on the computer!!

in other words, i'm having a fantastic day.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

this past weekend, i went to the budweiser brewery as part of law school orientation, one of the weekend activities. before going on the actual brewery tour, you have to wait in the lobby. in the lobby, there are all sorts of anheuser-busch related exhibits. a lot of them have to do with the history of beer and the history of the company. there are all sorts of beer bottles, beer cans, and beer promotion paraphernalia.

this time, there was a new exhibit. it was such a new exhibit that it wasn't even there two weeks ago, when chris and katie came to town and we went to the brewery. it was an exhibit they put up to show off all the shiny new beer products they were selling. they had a couple of their seasonal brews up there, and a bottle of BE, which has been around for awhile although they seem to be pushing it again. they even had a can of tilt...a scary product that i've never tried, it's basically malt liquor with energy-drink substances in it, the Forty/Tall Boy equivalent of BE.

and then, they had what stands to be the most frightening product that anheuser-busch has ever produced. i know what you're thinking--you're thinking there cannot be a more frightening anheuser-busch product than natural light. (for the record, i've never consumed a natty light, and i never plan to.) you thought that this particular frat party and house party staple was the lowest point of anheuser-busch beer.

natural light has officially been one-upped. by this:



natty up. caffeinated natty light in a tall boy. according to the product overview:

  • Natty UP is a robust lager with caffeine
  • Caffeinated beer with real beer taste ... not sweet
  • “Natty UP. party down”
i think the only part of this that i trust is that it contains caffeine, and that it's not sweet. i'm sure it's most definitely not sweet. but robust? real beer taste? i seriously doubt that those words can truly describe any kind of "natty" product. and that slogan? is it the height of cheese, or is it just a comment on how pathetic a beer has to be for the slogan to be part of the product description? if you look at the product overview page, not even the bottom-shelf malt liquor descriptions resort to that.

this beer is currently being test-marketed in north carolina, florida, texas, and missouri. i have not seen this beer outside of the bud brewery display, despite the fact that i live in missouri. if i ever do see it in a store, i think i would double over laughing, even worse than i did when i saw the beer at the brewery.

i promise i will never drink this beer...although i am trying to decide whether or not i should buy a can of natty up as a gonzo conversation piece for my apartment, an adornment for my coffee table. the idea amuses me, but i'm afraid that would be just a bit too hipster.
being a 2L is so much shinier than being a 1L. you get to pick your classes, you don't come into the year being scared of anything, and you already have some Actual Knowledge of how law school works. 1L was a good year, and a necessary one, but 2L is where the real fun is.

Monday, August 21, 2006

it's the first day of school. wish me luck.

for the second straight year, i get to start my first day of school with a class from professor ellis. last year i was a little scared, because of all the stories...but now, i know he's just awesome. rememeber, any of you U of Cers, how there were sort of miniature cult followings for dennis hutchinson for his genius and his hardcore socratic methodizing, and john hart for being amusing and an all-out teddy bear? yeah, you kind of put all those traits together, and you've got professor ellis. he's fantastic.

otherwise, i never thought i'd be squeaking over the chance to take a class in antitrust law. ha.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

if anyone has any spare brown paper bags, would you kindly give me one? i need one to place over my head for the next couple hours. thanks.

Friday, August 18, 2006

they apparently messed up the CTA maps on the trains. how in the world did no one catch that? BEMONT???? the wrong number for transit information???? crikey, metrolink wouldn't even do that!!

for the record, there's a spot-the-errors game in that article. it shows a segment of this messed up CTA map, and tells you to spot the errors. yes, i did spot all the errors. it wasn't hard, duh. but, if i didn't spot all of them, or if i saw something that i thought was error and later realised was not error, i'd feel remiss in my chicago transit authority geekery, or my general public transit geekery.

speaking of transit geekery, i really need to get back to chicago and ride the pink line. i've ridden along those stops back when it was called the cermak branch of the blue line...but not under the "pink line" moniker. i still feel really weird, there being a pink line, but i've got to take it for a spin.

although, there is no way the pink line will ever be as cool as the skokie swift. i ♥ the skokie swift, and i ♥ freaking people out by being giggly, enthusiastic, and transit-geeky on the skokie swift.

on a completely non-transit related note...look! pearls before swine has penguins today! yay!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

i read several overheard-type blogs. most of the stuff isn't all that funny, but occasionally, there's a gem. today, on overheard in chicago, there was a great line from some dude who completely misses the point:

Suit: "If you could start any business, what would you do?"
Dude: "I totally wish I could start Walgreens. They're loaded."


if this was a job interview, he probably didn't get that job. well done, man.

i've been so busy this week. orientation has transitioned from mostly practical to mostly social, so that's putting a little less demand on my time as it was earlier this week. the big event i had to run was the student activity fair, which was on tuesday night. it's over, it went as well as it could have...the only real hitch was the long food line, but with so many people, that was inevitable.

now, we've got a few more events left for orientation...but what's taking a lot of time and energy is OCI (on campus interviewing, for you non-law types out there). it's going well so far; i am a better interviewer than i am a year ago, and i'm feeling a lot more comfortable in the environment after each interview that i do. it runs through saturday, and i'm halfway done. wish me luck...hopefully the process will keep going smoothly, and i'll meet more attorneys that i like.

tonight's thursday. if i get through the rest of the afternoon and evening, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. that light is karaoke. i still don't know what i'm going to sing, but i'll figure out something. i look forward to trivia night and karaoke night every week...and trivia didn't so much happen this week. i showed up with chris and chris, but the bar was dead--there weren't enough people to have a round! that made me sad. at least that will never happen at blue hill for karaoke...i'm sure it's going to be slammed this week, now that school is about to start.
i am not going to be able to see snakes on a plane until sunday, since i have orientation events friday and saturday all day (and night). i *should* be doing my reading for monday on sunday...which i will do, but the snakes are non-negotiable. i am taking several hours off on sunday, and finally seeing that movie. i've been squeaking about it all year now, and i'll be darned if i don't see it the first weekend it comes out.

because, come on. it's samuel l. jackson. on a plane. with snakes.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

problem: the neighbours are pissed at you because your new house is blocking their view.

solution: utilize architecture to flick them off.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

i want to go to Mystic, Connecticut.

now. right now.

they have penguins. you get to pet the penguins. you get to play with the penguins.

the heck with law school. i'm going to pet the penguins.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

my law school loans are officially in; now all i have to do is sit and wait for my refund check to come in (this week--hooray!!). financial aid in law school goes so much smoothly than it ever did in college...i'm independent, so the only person i have to deal with when filling out those forms is me. it's not the argument-laden song and dance i had to do as an undergrad; it's just a bunch of papers that i have to fill out by this date or the other. this is the second year of law school, and still it's amazing. after my college days of PROFILE forms and noncustodial parent sheets and the like coming in months late, the days of me having to pink slip into classes when they're half over, or even all the way over, the idea of my forms coming in on time, and my money coming in before school starts, is just fantastic.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

i've said so little here over the last week, and yet i have almost nothing interesting to say.

this week is my Week Off, my Summer Vacation. (of sorts...i've still had quite a bit to do for orientation, but that was front-loaded on monday and tuesday, so now i've been sleeping in, playing civ 3 and internet poker, and not doing much else.) it's nice to have a few days where i don't have to be anywhere or do anything unless i want to. it's a great feeling.

i've got a few more days before orientation starts, but nothing too crazy i've planned. tonight i have a doubleheader for softball (maybe we'll win a game? finally? please?), and then thursday night karaoke. it's going to be so nice, the guy at blue hill not looking at me like i'm trying to sneak in with a fake ID. i had been using my ID from north carolina...i got it when i was eighteen, and it was valid until the age of twenty-five. but, the hologram had worn off, and some of the ink was wearing off, so people thought it was fake--even though it was real. finally, tuesday, i dragged myself to the friendly neighbourhood DMV and got a missouri ID card. voila...it's shiny, it's new, it's in-state, and no one is going to doubt that i am in fact twenty-three.

the trip to the DMV, however, was almost a disaster. i go there, take my little number, and wait in the uncomfortable plastic chair. i had to wait through about fifteen numbers before me, but it wasn't so bad...maybe half an hour, forty minutes at the most. an agent calls me up, takes my information. she prints out my first license sheet--which misspelled my name. she fixes my name, prints out the new one. just as i was signing it, since everything was finally right, the other agent makes an announcement: "anyone who's here to get a driver's license or nondriver's identification--the computer system is down again. you have to come back tomorrow."

most of the people in line leave. i, however, had been called up and typed into the system just in time--all they had to do was take my picture and print out my card, which they could apparently do without being online. that made me so happy--i dodged a bullet. a forty minute wait at the DMV isn't horrible, especially if you have a good book to read, but it would be awful if it had been for naught, if i had to drag myself back up there again, wait again, and pray the computer didn't crash again. as it stands...i slipped in just in time, and i have a shiny missouri id card.

although, the picture on it is heinous. that makes me sad. usually, i have half-decent luck getting photographs for my identification cards. nope...not this time. my face is so unnaturally red...i don't even look sunburned, i look like someone's trying to choke me or something. it's horrific. it's the first license or id card picture i've looked at with horror, wondering if it's what i actually look like. i've been looking in the mirror, in the windows, in any slightly reflective surface a lot more as of late, to try and assure myself that i don't look as completely repulsive as i do in my id photo. the good news is, the vast majority of times that i look in the mirror, i still look like me, and i'm not heinous.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

my "where did they come from box" is my favourite blog toy ever.

i looked at my blog this morning, and noticed that everyone who had come in was from googling something to the effect of "u.s. capitals 1790-1800".

that was the trivia question on treasure hunters last night. (yes, this does mean i am admitting to watching treasure hunters--i watch it every week, it's hilarious!!) apparently, if you search "us capitals 1790-1800" on ask.com, my blog is the first hit. that's awesome.

so, to everyone who found my blog from trying to answer the treasure hunters question, hello! [and, no, that's not the only thing i blog about, although i'm glad to be helpful!]

Friday, August 04, 2006

murgle. technology. you're so out to get me this morning. STOP IT!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

i just got a telephone call.

it was an automated message of Samuel L. Jackson, telling me to forget about my schoolwork on August 18, get in that tin can i call my car, go get my homeboys, and see SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!

yes, sir.

*falls on floor giggling*
a man and a woman own a bed and breakfast in meade, kansas. their kid brings home a rainbow flag, and they start flying it outside the bed and breakfast.

it being a conservative community in kansas, people get mad. that dismays me, although i guess it doesn't surprise me.

what really gets me is what one of the local residents said:

"Local resident, Keith Klassen says the flag is a slap in the face to the conservative community of Meade. “To me it's just like running up a Nazi flag in a Jewish neighborhood. I can't walk into that establishment with that flag flying because to me that's saying that I support what the flag stands for and I don't," says Klassen."

fine. if you're vehemently homophobic, it's your choice not to patronize the bed and breakfast with a rainbow flag in front of it. that's your right in the free market. but comparing it to a nazi flag in a jewish neighbourhood? that's patently wrong. the nazis were out to hate and exterminate all jews. the gays are not out to kill all homophobes. hanging a nazi flag in a jewish neighbourhood is an act bathed in ill will, an act bathed in hate.

hanging a rainbow flag in a conservative neighbourhood is not an act of saying "i hate conservatives and want them to die"...even though homophobes may feel threatened by it, there's a difference. it's a societal threat to their bigotry, something that will force them to either think hard about why they are homophobic, or to flip out and withdraw from that element of society. it's not a threat that someone else is making to kill them, to say that their race or religion or way of life is somehow superior, to the extent that everyone else deserves to be killed.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

memery, ganked from Ari.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.


"'I've heard of that. More for me, then.' Jerry made a noise to Yorgo, and some pills appeared from up front."

Hey Nostradamus!
by Douglas Coupland

[who is fast becoming one of my favourite authors ever. he's a master of real-life absurdity. if you haven't read all families are psychotic, life after god, or eleanor rigby, then RUN, DON'T WALK to the library and check them out. you'd be doing yourself a favour. i have a funny feeling that hey, nostradamus! is going to be awesome as well, but i'm only up to page fifteen...haha.]
the good news: the nine people eliminated right before the money will be playing a bubble tournament, and the winner of that bubble tournament gets a seat in next year's Main Event.

the bad news: the winner of that bubble tourney also gets a year's supply of Milwaukee's Best Light.

hopefully he'll be smart enough to make a lucrative deal with a really dumb frat house who is willing to pay for his milwaukee's best light. hopefully whoever wins this bubble tourney is not dumb enough to actually drink that swill. anyone who knows me knows my penchant to drink almost anything put in front of me...but i draw the line with any beer with "milwaukee" in the name. that's just not right.