Tuesday, October 24, 2006

rinkworks is awesome...it's basically a compendium of funny stuff. i've been reading "computer stupidities" on there for a while, and have finally started reading other humour pages they have.

this one's specifically for the mad jurist, and his collection of things that should not go on cover letters. they call it resume quotations, but it includes terrible lines from both resumes and cover letters. many of them are extremely amusing, but these are my favourites:
  • "I have a bachelorette degree in computers." (so you got a degree in looking at strippers on the internet while drinking lots of beer? where can i get one of those?)
  • "I can play well with others." (do you also avoid running with scissors?)
  • "I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation." (do you get a funny hat, like the Burger King? can you sneak up on people in the morning, reconcile their accounts payable, and slip away as if they were hallucinating?)
  • "Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine." (what did you do to Gene Pitney's bones?! "only love can break a heart" was sappy, but it's a good oldie!)
  • "I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt." (so, i looked up "cheesy" in webster's dictionary. i think this was in the definition somewhere.)
  • "My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job' -- and I like your company in particular." (that one could work out really well, or really poorly. it's humourous, but all i can think of is someone like my music theory sub from twelfth grade, or that "god warrior" lady from trading spouses, would find it and start screaming that the candidate was giving credence to fortune cookies instead of the bible. i don't know why i'm picturing this, but it amuses me. so, there.)

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