i almost forgot to post what is most definitely the quote of the week. tuesday night, i went to juvenile hall to volunteer. a few law students go there every week to moderate debates among the 13-16 year old girls there. this week's topic was whether or not weed should be legalized. (of course, this topic had been suggested by the girls themselves.) they were very excited about this topic...although, to the chagrin of the girls, half of them had to actually argue that weed should be...gasp...illegal.1 i was assigned to help out the group that was arguing that weed should not be legal.
we helped the girls come up with arguments. we were discussing some common ones...the smoke is bad for the kids, it would be a bad influence, everyone would start smoking it. finally, one of the girls pipes up and goes:
"they'd tax it! i'm already paying ten bucks for my joint! if it's legal, i'll be paying $10.99 plus tax! i don't want to pay tax on my weed!"
eventually we got back on topic, discussing more arguments, but we kept coming back to that and cracking up the rest of the night.2
secondly...last week, one of my friends tipped me off to a segment on the radio show rover's morning glory called "dare dieter." apparently this bodybuilder-type guy named dieter does some sort of user-submitted dare every week. it's extra-stupid, of course, because it's on the radio...why do something that stupid if no one can see you do it?3 he was telling me last week about dieter sticking his hand in a large metal bear trap. apparently it broke his arm.
happily, they do post videos of dieter's stunts on the radio show's website. i watched the bear trap one, and it's really not as amusing as i hoped. there's no blood or gore. he shrieks in pain, of course, but that wasn't shocking. you couldn't even get a good look at his face, he was looking away from the camera.
but, there's another video that's absolutely priceless. it's dieter getting pulled, bare-bottomed, down a slip and slide--which abruptly ends, and is replaced with sandpaper. the heck with jackass, this is funnier than any stunt i've ever seen on that show. the camera is pointed right at him, you get a great look at his face, and as soon as he starts getting dragged down the sandpaper, the look of abject horror is the funniest thing i've seen in a long, long time.4 i was watching this video in the lounge, and my friend described my reaction as "cackling." an apt description, really. it will make you cackle too.
1 not that most of the law students there were fans of the prohibition on weed, either. but, we're just not as funny and punchy about it.
2 really, i think the taxation of marijuana is a reason why it should be legal. it can be regulated, it can be sin-taxed, and be a good source of government revenue on a sin that's probably less sinful than drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco. but, there's just something hilarious about a seveteen-year-old-kid lamenting a price increase on her blunts.
3 and before you start, stop lamenting about how listeners should just use their imaginations. imagination died and had to be buried by about the turn of the milennium, as the internet became more prevalent. we demand visual stimulus!
4 yes. i'm a jerk. we all know it. next question.