alright. i find it somewhat prescient that i already posted a picture of flavor flav on my blog today. why? no, i don't have any crazy new flavor of love spoilers. but, he's famous for his shiny gold grillz...and i just read an article about a very silly crime that involves gold teeth.
this dude was sleeping in his house. he wakes up, and his gold teeth were gone. kaput. jacked right out of his mouth.
he claims he is a heavy sleeper...but how in the world is he such a heavy sleeper that he slept through some guy reaching into his mouth and stealing his gold teeth? he had to have been drunk out of his mind, or high, or in some kind of altered state of consciousness. i'm a pretty heavy sleeper. i can sleep through loud noises, thunderstorms, light in the room, people climbing into bed, but i really can't fathom sleeping through someone sticking their fingers into my mouth and pulling out gold teeth.1
one of my friends suggested insurance fraud. if they were expensive, that might be it, although it would be the silliest insurance fraud plan ever. but, he's only claiming the teeth are worth eighty dollars! maybe he really needs eighty dollars. maybe he needs some more weed, or crack, or whatever whacked him out so much to think of the idea that his gold teeth got swiped in his sleep.
the other weird thing about this case...it's in the guy's house! if he were sleeping on a park bench, it would still be weird, the whole thing about reaching into his mouth and stealing gold teeth. but, there would be a lot more chance for random people to be walking by while his mouth was gaping wide open if he were sleeping outside, in public. but, he was in his house, in his own bed! that's just nasty. he said some friends were over, but the friends didn't steal anything else, just his gold teeth. if it were a prank, i'm sure they'd have given it back to him when he woke up, they'd all have a good laugh, and he'd pop his gold tooth or grill or whatever back in. but, he never got it back! 2
this all leads to one issue, the question presented if you will: why would some guy steal gold teeth out of someone else's mouth???
1 well, i don't have gold teeth. but, if i did, i still would probably be awake by the time that nasty old thief was reaching into my mouth.
2 maybe he stole the gold tooth to hock for weed or crack?