Thursday, August 24, 2006

this past weekend, i went to the budweiser brewery as part of law school orientation, one of the weekend activities. before going on the actual brewery tour, you have to wait in the lobby. in the lobby, there are all sorts of anheuser-busch related exhibits. a lot of them have to do with the history of beer and the history of the company. there are all sorts of beer bottles, beer cans, and beer promotion paraphernalia.

this time, there was a new exhibit. it was such a new exhibit that it wasn't even there two weeks ago, when chris and katie came to town and we went to the brewery. it was an exhibit they put up to show off all the shiny new beer products they were selling. they had a couple of their seasonal brews up there, and a bottle of BE, which has been around for awhile although they seem to be pushing it again. they even had a can of tilt...a scary product that i've never tried, it's basically malt liquor with energy-drink substances in it, the Forty/Tall Boy equivalent of BE.

and then, they had what stands to be the most frightening product that anheuser-busch has ever produced. i know what you're thinking--you're thinking there cannot be a more frightening anheuser-busch product than natural light. (for the record, i've never consumed a natty light, and i never plan to.) you thought that this particular frat party and house party staple was the lowest point of anheuser-busch beer.

natural light has officially been one-upped. by this:

natty up. caffeinated natty light in a tall boy. according to the product overview:

  • Natty UP is a robust lager with caffeine
  • Caffeinated beer with real beer taste ... not sweet
  • “Natty UP. party down”
i think the only part of this that i trust is that it contains caffeine, and that it's not sweet. i'm sure it's most definitely not sweet. but robust? real beer taste? i seriously doubt that those words can truly describe any kind of "natty" product. and that slogan? is it the height of cheese, or is it just a comment on how pathetic a beer has to be for the slogan to be part of the product description? if you look at the product overview page, not even the bottom-shelf malt liquor descriptions resort to that.

this beer is currently being test-marketed in north carolina, florida, texas, and missouri. i have not seen this beer outside of the bud brewery display, despite the fact that i live in missouri. if i ever do see it in a store, i think i would double over laughing, even worse than i did when i saw the beer at the brewery.

i promise i will never drink this beer...although i am trying to decide whether or not i should buy a can of natty up as a gonzo conversation piece for my apartment, an adornment for my coffee table. the idea amuses me, but i'm afraid that would be just a bit too hipster.

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