Wednesday, May 03, 2006

i've gotten hooked on american idol this season.

i watched it last night, and it was...special. each singer sang two songs--one from the year they were born, and one from any top ten on the billboard charts.

some of the songs were good, some of them were bad. i think paris was the best singer of the night. she did "kiss" by prince (OMG BORN IN 1989 I AM FREAKING OLD!!!!), and a mary j. blige song from this week's chart. it wasn't jaw-dropping, but it was still very solid. simon said the prince tune was whiny, although that's patently wrong...there's nothing whiny at all about her singing voice, although her speaking voice makes me want to stick a cork in her throat. her singing voice rocks. and then, the mary j. blige song...props for her picking something absolutely perfect for her vocal style.

i thought taylor was the most amusing performer... he's this 30 year old guy who looks like he's 40, but has so much energy...he's crazy. the song he sang from the year he was born? play that funky music, white boy. he didn't sing it amazingly well, that was just alright, but his dancing around and carrying on just made me love it to death, even though simon hated it. screw simon. his second one, the one from this week's chart...let's just say he was extra-clever. he picked the pop catalogue chart, and sang a beatles tune. that wasn't hopping and crazy, but well sung. the moral of the story? i heart taylor. i heart taylor lots and lots. taylor should be the next american idol.

i wanted to see taylor move on because he was fun, and i knew paris had to move on because she was good.

there was katharine...who's usually awesome, but had an off night last night. her second song, "black horse and the cherry tree", was really good...but she tried to do "against all odds" by phil collins, and she completely blew it. she was off pitch, off rhythm, just off. still, her second song redeemed herself, and she's done so well other weeks, that she should have stayed in. she should have probably been in the bottom two, judging from her performance last night, but she wasn't the worst last night.

then there was chris...he did well, singing a styx song and that "walk through fire" song by shinedown... his singing last night was good, although i've been wanting him to go home ever since fifties night, when he and his adult-alternative style did the impossible of making "i walk the line" by johnny cash suck. even though he was one of the best singers last night, i still really wanted to see him go home...or would have, if not for elliot.

oh, elliot. he's not very good at his job. every time i've seen him, he's been dull at best and awful at worst. last night he absolutely made my ears bleed. his second song was closer to dull than awful...he did some michael buble song about wanting to go home. it wasn't that cringeworthy, although given his first performance, it seemed prophetic--i think he should have been kicked off right then, right there, when he sang his forst song. the song he picked from the year of his birth was "on broadway", which george benson covered in 1978.

it. made. me. want. to. die. he was trying to make it creative, but none of the notes were correct. the melismas were overdone. if you listened to the music and weren't paying attention to the lyrics, you would not be able to tell that it was "on broadway" that he was singing. it was the worst thing i'd ever heard on american idol, or at least the worst thing i'd heard since ace young got kicked off a few weeks ago. elliot deserved to go home.

they announced the bottom two, and then the loser, tonight. they first showed taylor, who stayed safe. (SQUEE!!!) then they showed chris, who was also not in the bottom two (they'll get you sometime, blasphemer...sometime...) then they got to paris, who i thought was safest of all. nope...bottom two. sigh. still...elliot blew, there was no way she could get less votes than elliot. katharine and elliot were the last two--at least katharine was the safe one, and elliot the other member of the illustrious bottom two. (phew.)

then...elliot did it. he subjected the entire country to his version of "on broadway." again. it was even worse the second time than it was the first. i was yelling at the tv, and the only reason i didnt' throw anything was that the only thing i could reach for was my computer--and if i threw my computer, i couldn't bitch about how bad he was on the internet afterwards.

and then they announced it. elliot...go sit down, you're safe. SAFE? SAFE???? i could not believe my ears. paris getting sent home, while elliot gets to sing another week? wow. americans are stupid. (yes, i know it's probably futile to bitch about the stupidity of the people who vote for american idol, but do they lack the ability to hear? do they realise a decent song versus a butchered one when they hear it?!?! clearly not.

so now, they're flying to graceland. next week is elvis week. the idea of elliot singing elvis is making my ears preemptively bleed. the only stuff that he can do that's just boring as opposed to cringeworthy is the crooner-smooth-jazz-ish-stuff. not elvis. anything but elvis. help????

although the idea of taylor dancing around while singing an upbeat elvis song is making me giggle.

that's going to be awesome.

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