found this bizarre little gem on fark...
this is why you should never, never, ever, ever let a struggling novelist write the crime blotter in your local paper.
the choice excerpt?
"Imagine that you are the police officer watching this idiot doing a brake stand right in front of you as you are exiting the police station parking lot. Imagine dividing your attention between the meathead driving the pick up truck and the legions of startled pedestrians in the vicinity which seemed to be popping like er well like popcorn in response to the sudden deafening cacophony. Imagine your satisfaction in delivering the $402 stunting ticket to this veteran subject of Blotter’s past."
and, this one, is also extra-special:
"Police were dispatched to a complaint that six people were astride a single minibike and were racing up and down the street near the complainants residence. Why am I reminded of circus clowns? In any event, they were gone on arrival. Too bad too. Six stunting tickets for six different people in relation to the same vehicle at the same time. That qualifies the member writing those tickets to their choice of a toaster oven or a set of lawn darts."
but, read the whole thing. it's hysterical...and disturbing, in the sense that this guy, whoever he is, is getting paid to write this hilariously bad material.