Friday, December 30, 2005

i'm finally back in chicago. i was up at 5:15 this morning, it's 1:30 am now. i'm too tired to think clearly, but too wound up to get any sleep.

once i got off airplane after airplane, it's been a pretty nice, calm day. i've spent the evening over with kevin, and it's involved such lazy fun as family guy, more family guy, trivial pursuit, and Breakfast For Dinner at salonica. mmmmmm...greasy spoon...

i don't know why i can't just make myself sleep. i had some bad tv on for a while...elimidate...but that's over now, and there's nothing but paid programming. there's Bad TV (people's court, blind date, etc.), Really Bad TV (judge mathis, jerry springer, shop 'til you drop, etc.), and Unwatchably Bad TV (paid programming, cops, etc.) it's better just having it off, and staring into space (or at this computer screen, as the case may be) before i eventually doze off. i'll probably end up sleeping so late...

it just feels so good to be back in chicago. as much as i know i needed to move, it always feels so good to come see my friends, to hang around all the old's a great feeling.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

my last day here was going precariously well, and now this. why does she want me to talk to that man? why does she claim i never told her not to give my contact information to him? why does she keep prodding me for more explanation, when all i have is the explanation that i have? why does she implore me to talk to him, to read his letters, when all he has brought me is grief? why?

i'd say at least i'm leaving tomorrow, but i can see the fallout from this lasting way longer than that.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

in boise, not dead. gets more awkward by the day. i need out.

anyway. another end-of-the-year survey, yanked from squelch84

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
well, i started law school...that's definitely something new. beyond that...i really can't think of anything.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i haven't made resolutions in years. new year's isn't a time for resolutions or anything important or's an excuse to party, and that's about it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope, i don't know anyone who had a kid

4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year.

5. What countries did you visit?
just various places in the USA

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
the ability to undermine my's slowly creeping back, but too slowly for my tastes

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
august 1...the day i moved to st. louis

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting into law school

9. What was your biggest failure?
my inability to keep myself particularly afloat on my year off

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
a few colds, but that's about it

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my shiny new laptop

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
everyone who's been nice enough to stick with me through my insanities and bad times

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
does it count if the behaviour was all before 2005, but i'm still appalled by it?

14. Where did most of your money go?
bills, rent, school expenses, hanging out

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
mock trial (coaching at chicago the first part of the year, participating in law school mock now), starting law school

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"first day of my life" by the rasmus is definitely the song of the second half of 2005...since i listened to it so darn much that it became a personal law school theme song. first half of the year..."can't talk to you" by KRIM, since i love that song and it came on radio.wazee all the time.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
definitely happier
ii. thinner or fatter? .
about the same
iii. richer or poorer?
richer immediately (since i'm not living paycheck to bloody paycheck anymore), poorer in the long run (since it's because of school loans).

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
does it count if i'm still in love with someone i fell for last year?

23. How did you spend Christmas?
in boise with my mom, aunt, and brothers

24. What was your favorite TV program?
still beavis and butt-head.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no. i only truly hate one person, and i hated him this time last year too.

26. What was the best book you read?
i'm trying to remember what all i read this year...Bi America was really were all those David Sklansky books i read and reread this year...

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i can't remember if i discovered KRIM early this year or late last year, but they are a bag full of awesome. The Rasmus and Rise Against are also up there as far as great new bands i dug up this year.

28. What did you want and get?
to get into wash u law

29. What did you want and not get?

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
wedding crashers. i should have died laughing watching that flick. it was dizzyingly hilarious.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i slept in, went to lunch and out shopping with hilary, then went to a bi alliance meeting and saw transamerica at the tivoli. then i went home and hung out with my roommate, her boyfriend, and some of their friends. i turned 23.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not being so bloody broke when i was in chicago

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
whatever i feel like throwing on...still, usually, black band shirts and jeans

34. What kept you sane?
my boyfriend, my friends, poker, and lots of bad tv

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
hmmmm...i can't think of one who i particularly fancied

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the way the religious right seems to have no qualms about trying to make this a fundamentalist christian nation

37. Who did you miss?
before august...i missed chris, since i didn't get to see them often. afterwards? all my friends in chicago, who i now can't see very often.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i hate listing "bests" with respect to people, but i've met some really awesome people in law school this year.

39. Did anyone close to you get married?

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"i can't tell if you're laughing
between each smile there's a tear in your eye
there's a train leaving town in an hour
it's not waiting for you
and neither am i"
"paper wings"
by rise against

Sunday, December 25, 2005

sigh. i don't think this would be so offensive if it weren't tied into a church who believed that homosexuality is wrong. i think a "mr. heterosexual" pageant would be pretty darn hilarious to watch, since ripping up oprah magazines and naming chips and stuff is hilarious in a self-awareness-of-male-stereotypes kind of way. it just goes from funny to infuriating because it's being tied into an ex-gay coming to speak, it's being tied into the jesus-will-free-you-from-being-queer kind of angle. that means that however amusing the pageant events themselves are, the event is not funny, but heterosexist.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

you know you're in law school when you read this, and all you can think of is hamer v. sidway.

Friday, December 23, 2005

i was thoroughly mediocre in college.

i resolved my grades would be better in law school.

i saw my contracts final grade today.

i fail at life. barring a miracle on my other two finals, i am moving into that cardboard box somewhere in east st. louis. i should be better than this. clearly, i'm not. the part of me that ruled a year ago, the part of me that said i was not good enough...that part was right. i really am too stupid for this law school thing.
scrooges unite.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

now i can empathize with the people on death row...who know their day is drawing nigh, who want to do anything to stop it, and they can't actually do anything to stop it. they have appeals, but appeals are usually just about as futile as me doing something crazy tomorrow, like deliberately missing my flight out of kansas city tomorrow.

i can't do it. i'm losing my nerve.

Monday, December 19, 2005

well...i'm finally unwinding after finals week. i'm in florida right now, at chris' family's condo in santa rosa beach. it's's in the sixties, not too warm...the beach is pretty to look at, there are lots of cute restaurants, and since it's the middle of december it's really laid-back, not too full of tourists. (yes, i know, i am a tourist here, but that doesn't mean i have to like other tourists.) i've been so lazy so far...after an awful, delay-laden time getting here, it's been so smooth and laid-back since...sleeping in, lying around, only going out when we feel like it... it's awesome.

i saw the 40 year old virgin tonight. i would have guessed it would be awkward watching it with chris' whole family, including his parents, but they found it just as amusing as the rest of us. that movie was so funny; i laughed so hard at a lot of it. still, beyond its being funny...i don't care if you're twenty, thirty, or forty...even though losing one's virginity is not generally as hilarious as in that movie, it still does a darn good job of portraying the anxiety of having sex for the first time. i do think the longer you wait, the more nerve-racking it gets because you build it up in your mind. it was crazy enough getting the nerve to lose my virginity when i did, at age twenty...i can't imagine being forty.

other than that...not much going on here. i'm going to continue being lazy.

Friday, December 16, 2005

finals are over. we will not discuss them until my grades come out. when my grades come out, i will send you all notices telling me where my new residence, a cardboard box, is located.

last night was lots of fun...there was the 1L party over at m.p. o'reilly's, a bar i hadn't been to before. it was awesome...drinks, darts (yay for the machine stopping the game when we suck, right?), hanging out, girlie talk...all kinds of fun. :)

today has been all about the chores. :P drugstore run (to buy some drano that didn't freaking work), calling the landlord to fix the sink (thank goodness my landlord doesn't suck--the maintenance guy came out and fixed it, yay!), laundry...i have to pack by 4:30, but since it's 2:15 now, i'll be fine.

i've gotten to do some fun stuff too...i've been watching all sorts of bad tv. now it's divorce court. this show, like most court shows, renews my faith in the precept that People Are Stupid. this woman on the show has seven kids, she's been cheating left and right, the husband (who has TWELVE kids) has been cheating left and's a mess.

i sometimes think that if stupid people watched more court shows, maybe they'd see themselves in the stupid people on the shows and try to stop being so stupid...but my realistic side says that the people will be too stupid to realise what's going on.

i'm also ripping all sorts of music to my itunes. since i'm taking my computer on winter break with me, but not my CDs, i'm trying to bring as much music as possible with me so i don't go nuts. i'm up over three days of music on my computer's something, although still not enough.

anyway...that's about it from this neck of the woods.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

time for me to retire now, and become a duck.
i think the foof is the only one who will probably care about this, or find it as sad as i find it, but...


that's sad! no more just howard, squiggly line, skokie, with no stops in between! it won't be the skokie swift'll be the skokie-with-one-stop.

i am going to have to ride that train at least one more time when it's still the skokie swift that i know and love.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

i have lost all motivation. i studied for my first two finals, and failed them both. i have one more to go, i should be studying, but i'm wondering why i bother. therefore, i've been sitting on the couch all day, not doing anything, not going anywhere, wallowing in how much i suck.

happy finals week.

Monday, December 12, 2005

i saw the religious rightmobile on clayton road coming home from dinner tonight.

it was a white van, some variety of a dodge caravan. it had two bumperstickers on the back, one on each side: the left one said "God Bless America" with a flag on it, and the right one said "abortion stops a beating heart." neither one of those alone are too remarkable, and even both of them together aren't amazingly uncommon or unsurprising.

the real kicker was something i've never seen. they had written out, in those black stick-on letters you can buy at the hardware store, centered around the license plate, the following:




with "UNDR-GD" as the license plate.

highway jingoism and preaching, much? i've never seen anything like that on a car, even in a red state!
i fail at life.
i walk and i breathe
i keep searching and hoping to get across
but i seem to have lost my mask of resilience
never to be found
if those chick tracts a few days ago got you mad...this will get you madder. it's a page full of quotes...utter gems like:

"I'm an old-fashioned woman. Men should take care of women, and if men were taking care of women today, we wouldn't have to vote."
--Kay O'Connor (a female kansas state senator)

"I would like to outlaw contraception...contraception is disgusting – people using each other for pleasure."
--Joseph Scheidler (of the pro-life action league)

"Better a pink bottom than a black soul."
--Lester Roloff (opened some children's homes in Texas)

and...many more that just make you want to go and kick everyone pictured on the page.
i'm awake, studying for property some more.

i flipped on the people's court--and it's a landlord/tenant argument. it's pretty straightforward...there were leaks in the plumbing, the defendant did a repair-and-deduct (or, rather, several of them...and may have inflated her prices...), the defendant is trying to frame it as an implied warranty of habitability issue although it probably wasn't actually that bad, and the plaintiff didn't shovel snow from the apartment building premises. i wish the cases we read for landlord/tenant in school were as amusing as this one; legally it's elementary, but there are all sorts of fun barbs and insults that you don't get in a court opinion for school.

it's got to be some kind of's hoping it's a good one. yay for issue spotting on bad tv.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Click here to view my house

according to the website, the house i drew means that:

"Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself."

some of this stuff is right on the nose, and some of it could not be further from the truth.
on the simpsons:

Lisa: "it's a dvd of a fellini movie."
Homer: "i get it! the midget represents dwarves!"

Saturday, December 10, 2005

it's been a while since i've read chick tracts, maybe a couple of years. there are a lot of new ones since i read them last...and wow, if i thought chick had gone off the deep end before, wait until you see some of the new ones. i'm not sure if i want to laugh or go find jack chick and kick him.

jesus can take a man from "my girlfriend's pregnant, i dumped her, i don't care if she aborts" to "i love you and i want to marry you!" in 45 minutes flat...

"i feel so sad about all the kids who'll be tricked into believing it's ok to be gay and not believing jesus"

mohammed was a pedophile!

"the creation of the wafer god was the greatest con job in world history" (or, transubstantiation makes communion wafers into death cookies!>

catholicism makes the virgin mary cry.

if you died today, you'd burn in hell!"...or, how a violent school will turn into a happy school if a kid drops a bunch of chick tracts in the hall

i really wish these were satirical. it confuses me that these actually convince people to change their faith.
well, i alluded last week to something that could happen that was just That Incredibly Shiny...

as of this morning, it happened. i am officially a member of the Wash U Trial Team. i am playing the expert witness on both sides on one of the teams going to the ATLA regional in kansas city this march!!!

i am so excited...never in a million years did i actually think i was going to get to go to competition as a 1L!

this has made my year.

Friday, December 09, 2005

the torts final yesterday was hell on earth. i'd say it was demoralizing, but since there's nothing in particular i can point to that i did badly (except for the overarching "Everything"), it's more numbing. it was like writing five memos in three hours. the fact pattern was sixteen pages long, and you name the tort principle, it was probably in there. converting my character count to pages, i probably wrote the equivalent of 16 or 17 pages, but it wasn't good was flipped-out crap. i got to all the parts, but some of my parts were less than steller, and the rest of them were utter disasters.

i had felt so good going in. i studied, i felt like i knew the material. i guzzled a bunch of coffee. i blasted a double-whammy of awesome music that i am now going to play before each of my finals: "burnout" by 7g and "first day of my life" by the rasmus. then...the test. the test was intentional infliction of emotional distress. i am suing.

after the test i went out with chris for a burrito, and then over to hilary's for some drinking, rescue rangers, geeky games, and hanging out. rescue rangers was not as funny when i was a kid as it is now. there was an episode where this crazy egg collector wanted a booby egg, so he stole baby booby from mommy booby...and all the characters just kept saying "booby" as much as possible. it was so wrong...and utterly hilarious.

today i have a property review session. it was supposed to be at noon...but it got moved to 12:30 for some reason. it gives me an extra half hour to surf the internet, i guess, and watch bad tv. i have mtv2 on; the rest of tv sucks, and they are having their rock countdown. they've played some pretty good stuff since i've turned it on...system of a down, fall out boy, weezer, green day...surprisingly enough, Stuff That Does Not Suck.

i hope my property final does not thoroughly vanquish me like torts just did.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

this is the kind of old lady i want to be. i want to bong the beer until i'm at least eighty-three.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

again, i'm sick of torts. you've got to love the rampant memery that finals week inevitably brings.

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.

January: oh gosh. it's 2005.

February: i'm not dead, but i'm also not back in chicago yet from dubuque.

March: in my foggy mental state while typing that entry last night, i forgot to say anything at all about how my first interview went yesterday at leona's.

April: i had one table not tip me at all last night.

May: finally got my financial aid offer from wash u on saturday...and they're giving me enough money to go!!!! :D they're even giving me a scholarship that pays for about 2/3 of my tuition!!!

June: sorry for the lack of original content...i've been alternating between being exhausted and trying to remedy being exhausted for the last couple days.

July: leona's did a darn good job of pretending not to be stupid last night.

August: so, i've finally done it. i moved to st. louis yesterday.

September: hilarious onion article!!!

October: this morning's the negotiation competition. wish me luck.

November: i had all these intentions of going to bed...but, i've been playing with openoffice.

December: i was clearing out the junk mail on my hotmail. there was an email in there with the subject line: "AREYOUBIGENOUGHFrontrowgirl?"

alright, so some of them are significant...and some of them are just stupid.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

alright...i'm a sucker for music memes...and procrastination. my torts outline is done, so i can do this...right??

The iTunes Meme

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs: 1027

Sort by song title:
First Song:
"the war" by second coming (it was down with the quotes for some reason...barring the quotes, it's #27 by the marvelous 3)
Last Song: "your way right away" by wesley willis

Sort by Time:
Shortest Song:
"welcome" by the offspring--0:09
Longest Song: "forget" by 8stops7: 12:09

Most Played: "first day of my life" by the rasmus--14 plays

First Song that Comes up in Shuffle: "until you see" by the marvelous 3

Search for:
14 songs (the entire listing from readysexgo by the marvelous 3, and then "valley of disarray" by 12 volt sex)
Death: nothing (i know, i'm shocked!)
Love: 32 songs (all of love or perish by the pocket rockets, a ton of tracks from loved like a milkshake, a wesley willis tribute album, plus "anti-love song" by cold, "fist like a glove" by emmet swimming, "ohio is for lovers" by hawthorne heights, "vampires in love" and "cigarette lighter lovesong" by the marvelous 3, "the one i love" by REM, "the one i love" by the rasmus [not an REM cover!], "love her" by seether, "miss you love" by silverchair, "lovesong" and "more than love" by snake river conspiracy, and "crispin hellion glover" by wesley willis")
You: 91 songs (yeah, there's no freaking way i'm detailing all these :) )
so, kickboxer is on spike tv right now. that in itself is not very amusing. what's amusing are the little segments that spike is throwing in before commercial breaks. (if you read this before 10:30 central time, you should turn on spike tv now!) for this movie, they've got the two hosts, the beer-guzzling-manly-man-type and the ditzy-hot-blonde type, playing five card stud with a celebrity guest.

the celebrity guest is scott stapp.

an extremely high scott stapp.

this is absolutely priceless. most of it i can't do justice to here, just because most of the humour is in the high-as-a-kite mannerisms of mr. stapp. but, there have been a couple of quotables...and by quotable, i mean you will either giggle or bang your head against the desk when you read them.

male announcer: "so, we're going to play some five card stud..."


male announcer: "do you like las vegas?"
stapp: "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...." (theoretically this should at least end in a mumbled yes or no. it did not. he said the longest "uhhh" i've ever heard, and then eventually proceeded to start trash talking the announcers about how he is going to beat them at poker.)


male announcer: "most dreaded father-son conversation: where babies come from, or what's a groupie?"
stapp: "well, my son thinks babies come from my sack..."

how the mighty have fallen.
this is a great idea. paying drug addicts to go on long term or permanent birth control? frankly, i think it's brilliant. i'm all for encouraging drug addicts to not have kids, at least until they have kicked the habit...i'm sure most drug addicts are just not responsible enough, financially or otherwise, to have kids. it can physically mess up the kid at birth, and mess them up mentally if they're raised in a house where the parent(s) are on drugs. if they choose to keep having sex, it's probably best for them and for society if they are not reproducing. and, paying them to take this responsible step...the cynic in me knows that many peope are not going to be very likely to get birth control without some sort of external reason. really, i can't think of anything that would do the trick better than money.

Monday, December 05, 2005

exchange between me and the boy:

"hey, i just took this really funny test: which intentional tort are you? take a guess...what did it give me?"
"intentional tort, dear."

and, it proceeded, and got funny for a different reason...

"ah, intentional...trespassing?"
"nope. i got intentional infliction of emotional distress."
"that's one i'm glad i didn't get right, for doghouse purposes."

::memery tort::

(all you Chicagoans especially need to check this one out, thanks to the little u(c) shoutout as the archetypal "serious, academic, competitive school")

and, i think this picked the perfect tort that i personify.


and go to because law school made laura do this.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

what i should be saying/feeling: "i've been studying torts so much, i'm sick of torts, i've spent my last several days reading torts, torts, torts, torts, torts, torts."

what i have been doing: nothing. absolutely nothing, at least studywise. friday i had contracts class and a property session, but other than that, i was lazy. i went out for a burger with a couple of my classmates, and we reminisced about how crazy it is that the semester is drawing to a close. then, i lazed around with chris the rest of the night.

yesterday, i didn't touch anything school-related. i went to go see was very good, although i'd love to see the stage play now, especially since the last thirty minutes or so of the movie seemed to jump from here to there, i'd love to see the actual plot continuity. then, i went home, and chilled with chris for the rest of the night. we got indian food (mmmm...naan, and spinach and paneer cheese...mmmm), played monopoly, and watched oh so much football.

today...i do need to crack them torts books. ugh.

but, because melissa tagged me on them, i've got some memery going on.

My Five Weird Habits/Facts

1. when i was a kid, i loved peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. my parents made them, and i thought they were the most normal things ever until i got older and people made fun of me for bringing them to school. i haven't eaten one in forever, but i'd make one right now if i had some mayo in the house. i'm particular--it must be jif creamy peanut butter and hellmann's real mayonnaise--but they're oh-so-good.

2. i know it's childish, but i still bite my nails. i don't think i'm ever going to stop biting my nails. i don't know why i started doing it, i don't know why i keep doing it, but it's something i don't even really think about anymore. i it.

3. i am still profoundly arachnophobic. it has not improved since i was a kid. when i was a girl, my siblings would grab daddy long legs (the kind of spider i'm most afraid of) and run at me with them; i'd sprint away as fast as i could, go inside, and lock myself in a room in the house. in high school, i saw a spider on a chorus trip, and people still remember that i shrieked "get it off me! get it off me!", and jumped and ran. (yes, someone i knew from chorus, who i hadn't talked to since high school, emailed me on myspace recently and said she remembered me for that incident.) now, i still scream and run. i saw some daddy long legs while camping last year--i screamed, ran, and made my boyfriend kill it. same with a daddy long legs i saw a few months ago. as you can see, my response has remained the same despite the fact that i'm theoretically an adult now.

4. i go psycho at concerts. i try to get in the front row, i jump, i sing along when i know the words. this happens whether i'm at an all-ages show with plenty of sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year olds who do that too, or if i'm at a 21 and over show where i'm literally the only person in the audience crazily rocking out. i've tried once or twice to calm myself down, not act so crazy, but i can't do it. i hear live music, i involuntarily jerk, twitch, jump, and scream. it's hard wired.

5. i tend to say whatever's on my mind, in the sense of a stream of consciousness. when i tell stories, i digress to unimportant details that are somehow wired to matter to me. when i'm not telling stories, and some stupid observation pops into my head, i make it verbally. people think i'm crazy for doing this.

Ten things that make me happy

1. going to a concert for a band i know and love
2. staying in bed extremely late in the morning
3. stuffed chicago pizza
4. going out and singing karaoke
5. reading a book that i just can't put down
6. playing board games
7. escaping from any and all responsibility
8. watching the game show network for hours on end
9. pandora
10. mock trial

Friday, December 02, 2005

at first glance, i thought that this was extremely offensive--a college atheist group allowing people to bring religious scriptures in and trade them for pornography. i found it amusing, to be sure, but a bit offensive.

but, then, i stopped and thought...what if it was the other way around? would i find it offensive if a religious group had a stand where people could bring their pornography and trade it for religious books? no. no i wouldn't. really, there's no logic as to why one should be offensive and the other not. i've concluded that it's not logical at all--and frankly stupid--that i found it offensive in the first place. it's all a question of choice...what you get more out of. some people get more out of a religious tract of choice, some people get more out of pornography.

as for me, i'm wary about indoctrination and organized religon and holy texts. i'll take the boobies.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

i was clearing out the junk mail on my hotmail. there was an email in there with the subject line:


clearly it is a computer that does these things, because any human compiling this spam would have to read it, giggle at the irony, and delete it.

or, i'm assuming it's penis enlargements. maybe it was boob enlargements; not likely, but i decided that idea was rather funny. then i'd probably just have to giggle, send them a picture, and watch them stop sending me ads for boob jobs.

i kill me.