Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i know i've been a photowhore/linkwhore lately, but this is great. all i have to say asshats allowed!!!

by 10 years

change my attempt
good intentions

crouched over
you were not there
living in fear
but signs were not really that scarce
obvious tears
and i will not
hide you through this
i want you to help
please see
the bleeding heart perched on my shirt

hide in cold sweat
quivering lips
ignore remorse
naming a kid
living wasteland
this time you've tried
all that you can turning you red

change my attempt
good intentions
should i
could i
here we are with your obsession
should i
could i

crowned hopeless
the article read living wasteland
this time you've tried
all that you can turning you red
but i will not
hide you through this
i want you to help

change my attempt
good intentions
should i
could i
here we are with your obsession
should i
could i

heave the silver hollow sliver
piercing through another victim
turn and tremble be judgmental
ignorant to all the symbols
blind the face with beauty paste
eventually you'll one day know

change my attempt
good intentions
limbs tied
skin tight
self inflicted his perdition
should i
could i
change my attempt good intentions
should i
could i
Should i
could i
today's a great day in the world of weird news.

first off, we have these dingbats. that's right, dumb game show contestants. if crocodiles were insects that hovered over lakes, or the six days war lasted fourteen days, or bonnie and clyde were famous brothers, these would be some of the smartest people alive...but instead, they have me snickering in torts class.

secondly, we have...this guy. he's a burglar. he's a stupid burglar. he's a stupid burglar who got stuck in the window trying to escape. let's all point and laugh:

ha ha!

finally, we have henry earl. surprisingly enough, he's not in jail today. but, he'll probably be in jail tomorrow or the next day. he's been busted for public drunkenness and similar misdemeanors over nine hundred times in the last thirteen years. there are some...special stories and some special mug shots of this guy. furthermore, there are statistics: how long he's been in jail, how long his average jail stays and free periods are. it's silly. definitely one of the more amusing town drunks i've ever run upon during my days of cruising fark.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

i read the best government resolution ever. it's Idaho's resolution honouring Napoleon Dynamite. it's so unbelievably random. it's priceless! observe:

Fifty-eighth Legislature First Regular Session - 2005


Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho:

WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of "Napoleon Dynamite"; and

WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth; and

WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and

WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and

WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export; and

WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships; and

WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation; and

WHEREAS, Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-honored Idaho vacation destination; and

WHEREAS, Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, the schoolwide Preston High School student body elections foster an awareness in Idaho's youth of public service and civic duty; and

WHEREAS, the "Happy Hands" club and the requirement that candidates for school president present a skit is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships; and

WHEREAS, Kip's relationship with LaFawnduh is a tribute to e-commerce and Idaho's technology-driven industry; and

WHEREAS, Kip and LaFawnduh's wedding shows Idaho's commitment to healthy marriages; and

WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools; and

WHEREAS, Tina the llama, the chickens with large talons, the 4-H milk cows, and the Honeymoon Stallion showcase Idaho's animal husbandry; and

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of the Fifty-eighth Idaho Legislature, the House of Representatives and the Senate concurring therein, that we commend Jared and Jerusha Hess and the City of Preston for showcasing the positive aspects of Idaho's youth, rural culture, education system, athletics, economic prosperity and diversity.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that we, the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate of the State of Idaho, advocate always following your heart, and thus we eagerly await the next cinematic undertaking of Idaho's Hess family.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Chief Clerk of the House of Representatives be, and she is hereby authorized and directed to forward a copy of this resolution to Jared and Jerusha Hess, the Mayor of the City of Preston and the Principal of Preston High School.

Statement of Purpose / Fiscal Impact


RS 15236

The purpose of this resolution is to recognize and commend Jared and Jerusha Hess for their cinematic talents by which they have increased the nation's awareness of Idaho.
there are things that are good. there are things that are awesome. there are things that are shiny. and then, there are things that are so shiny that if you look at them or even think about them for more than a second, you go blind because they are so shiny.

something in the latter category might be about to happen. more later as things develop.

*points to self*
*mock trial nerd*

Monday, November 28, 2005

in a case i'm reading, it says that "as a matter of law, the benefits to the parents outweigh their economic loss in rearing and educating a healthy, normal child." (fassoulas v. ramey, 450 so. 2d 822)

this should be true as a matter of law, as the law would become so thorny if parents were allowed to sue for wrongful birth damages for a healthy child.

this should also be true in the minds of people who are having babies...they should believe that all the money it's going to cost them to raise a kid is worth it in what they are going to get out of the experience of raising the child.

as for me...thinking of making the financial sacrifices, much less the sacrifices of time and energy, is enough to make me ill. i can't see anything good about the idea of having someone dependent on me for everything, or at least most things, for at least eighteen years. i don't want to expend the money, the time, or the energy to do that.

i want to sleep at night--every night--without hearing a baby cry, having a toddler shake me awake, worrying that my adolescent is going to stay out all night with shady characters.

i want to come home from work and unwind, read, watch tv, have my own pace. i don't want to come home and have to shuttle the kids to soccer practice or go to a parent-teacher conference or make sure their homework is done.

i want to spend my disposable income on books to read, on concerts to see, on trips to see my friends. i don't want to spend it on clothes and food and toys and necessities for children.

maybe this is selfish of me. if it is, i really don't care. the idea of being a mother is not appealing in the least to me. at least i realise this, and i'm not going to be crazy enough to try and deny it, to try and convince myself that it'll be oh-so-different if it's my own kid. it won't be enough for me to sign away two decades of my free time.
has anyone seen the episode of beavis and butt-head where they go on "teen talk" after getting in trouble at school? at the end of the episode, beavis gets all pissed off, stands up in the bleachers, and starts yelling about how he's never going to score, and about how the host is a dork, but he's probably scored?

it reminds me so much of the bus monologue in beavis and butt-head do america.

it's not quite as awesome as the movie monologue, but it's definitely the proto version. it amuses me every time i see it, because of its similarity to the Best Movie Monolougue Ever.
he was not supposed to get my email address, my snail mail address, or any other information of mine. he did. so far, i've had to rip up one letter and delete one email over the course of the last couple weeks. he tried to get in touch this time last year, as well. i can do nothing but ignore him. i have nothing to say to him. my life is better without him being a bad person, without him causing me pain.

although, clearly, he's doing a good enough job causing me pain before i read any of his words.
it's been so long since i've posted that it's going to be one of those entries that hops around all over the place.

--the weekend in kansas was fun. i didn't study one iota, i slept in every morning, and i watched a ton of football. i even went to a football game...saturday morning, chris and i went to the kansas-iowa state game. the first half of it really sucked, the jayhawks were getting killed, but then, somehow, kansas pulled the game to a tie. it went into overtime, the cyclones biffed their field goal, and kansas kicked one to win. it was so much fun...everyone was so excited, and after the game they tore down the goalposts and threw them into the pond behind the stadium. having gone to a division III college, it was definitely a different experience for me...and it was a lot of fun.

--saturday night i played poker. there were some utter morons at my table. there was one woman who took the cake. she was sitting next to chris, and apparently chris had to take ten minutes to explain to this idiot that, in fact, a straight is a legit poker hand--it did not have to be a straight flush. she had been folding her straights all night. furthermore, she was raising and re-raising me on a K Q J 7 K board with J 7. needless to say, i won a huge pot off of her, because i wasn't stupid enough to be in there with a counterfeit two pair--i had K Q for the boat. the first hour and a half or two hours went really well...other than that hand, my cards weren't really all that great, but i was doing a good job knowing when to bet to steal pots with absolutely nothing. the last while i was at the table, though, i wasn't really hitting anything, so i ended up a few dollars down. that was a bummer, since the beginning went so well, but no matter...i was really only down the effect of rake and dealer tips.

--now i'm back in st. louis. finals start next week. i have so much reading to do and so much studying. grumble. i'm going to be a wreck, and there will probably be lots of less-than-happy blog posts about finals over the next three weeks.

--i'm a bad person. i had one class today, and i ditched it. today my plan is to get lots of reading done, although i've been up for an hour and a half, and i haven't read anything. i've organized my friendslist and blog subscriptions on myspace, though...that's productive, right?

--finally, i love this dilbert strip today. people wonder why i'm amoral. as part of my answer, i should point them here, to the second and third panels. there are other reasons i have, which i detailed in an older entry on this blog...but inconsistency of the general concept is another good reason.

Friday, November 25, 2005

i'm reading an article about college clubs about intelligent design. there's a quote from a student at Cornell who founded an intelligent design club, and it's enough to make my head spin:

"In my opinion, both intelligent design and Darwinian evolution are science. Both have philosophical implications."

so, if it has philosophical implications, then it's science? last time i checked, that was not the case. just about anything and everything can have philosophical implications, it's a question of how you frame it and what you see in it. this includes tangible things, scientific things, religious things, social ideas, and everything in between. evolution has philosophical implications. intelligent design has philosophical implications.

but, that does not mean that both are science, in the sense of a way to explain the natural world. according to merriam-webster's dictionary, science is defined as:

"knowledge or a system of knowledge covering general truths or the operation of general laws especially as obtained and tested through scientific method"

nowhere in that is science defined as "that which has philosophical implications." i'd go into a rant about how intelligent design is not science...but i think i went off on that enough yesterday.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

score: KU 1, Kansas Board of Education 0. (or, the university of kansas is going to be teaching a class on intelligent design as a modern american mythology.)

i actually heard about this a couple days ago, and neglected to blog about it. really, i think it's great. i'm really interested in what the reading list will be for the course, and i think it's definitely a public service to go on the academic record drawing a bright line between religion and science. there's a large choir who understands where the line goes, the line between faith and things that are reproducible and explainable by the scientific method, but there are too many people who do not--especially in a state that just approved intelligent design in the science curriculum.

although, i know there's going to be one bad apple in the class who tries to contradict everything the professor tries to say, who's going to try and push intelligent design as real science. i can only hope that the professor is blunt and snarky enough to go toe-to-toe with the bad apple and shoot him down.

am i saying it's an inherently bad thing to believe in intelligent design? no...i'm saying it just doesn't belong in science classrooms. personally...i believe in evolution, and i am convinced it is good science. but, do i think that God had a hand in starting it, or that there is some sort of supernatural reason that things are able to happen the way they are? i sure haven't ruled it out, and i think there's some credence to that. i believe God has an eye on things. but, do i think that that's an appropriate thing to teach in a science class? absolutely not. that's a stick in the bundle of personal faith. i can't prove it. i can't experimentally test it. i can't draw any sort of bona fide link between the facts and theories that scientists can see and test and explain and the constructions of my faith. there is a bright line...i don't think it's inconsistent for a person to believe in both, but there's a line between what should be taught in science class and what should stay in the realm of spirituality. kansas public schools have crossed the line.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

i found this book online, and it profoundly disturbs me.

children's books that clonk you over the head with any particular value system really disturb me. i'm not a fan of indoctrination at an early age. sure, there are certain values that really aren't bothersome, things like hard work and honesty and tolerance of different viewpoints...i'm not railing against children's books that touch on traits that generally help them grow up to be good people. i'm talking about children's books that indoctrinate the child in a certain overarching value system to the exclusion or mockery of others. i'm talking about stuff saying that a certain religion or political system is the best way to go, and all of the others lead the world to hell in a handbasket. it bothers me enough that adults believe in such narrow worldviews, and it offends me when such adults have kids and raise them to have the same tunnel vision.

i'm not surprised that such offensive content is being peddled by worldnetdaily, but i'm offended that such content as this book is being peddled at all. "help! mom! there are liberals under my bed!"? sure, that's useful in trying to raise a conservative child, but it's helpful in raising a conservative child along the lines of another ann coulter...full of rhetoric and hatred, and devoid of any substance other than the repeated assertion that liberals are analogous to monsters.

how would worldnetdaily react if an extremely slanted liberal "news" site sold "help! mom! there are conservatives in my closet!"? i know what they would do. they'd write some article complaining about the liberal media bias and the breakdown of america's moral fabric.

asshattery advancing.

stand firm, troops.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

so, today's my birthday. one year older, twenty-three, blah blah blah.

i was walking around today, and i came to a strange realisation. when it comes to day-to-day, mundane stuff, i'm absolutely moronic. i can't manage my time, i can't keep a dollar in my pocket to save my life, and i'm a lazy, lazy bum.

but, when it comes to the big decisions in life, i suck a lot less...i look back, and i can't say i majorly dropped the ball on any of them. i picked the right college. i picked the right law school. i haven't stayed in relationships that i had no business staying in. i've surrounded myself with awesome friends.

i have a lot to feel good about.

in...less weighty matters, i had a nice day today. i went out with hilary for lunch at the macaroni grill, and then we cruised around the mall. that was a lot of fun; i hadn't done mall-cruising in a long time. it was a blast...and i bought two things, both of which were on sale. hilary and i got Awesome Matching Goth Skirts. they're short, they're lacy, and they're black and purple. i also got genus 6 of trivial pursuit...because trivial pursuit rules, and trivial pursuit for 50% off rules even more.

this evening i went to the bi alliance social out on the loop. we hung around and chatted at st. louis bread co. for a was nice; i hadn't been able to make it out for any of their social events yet, so i met lots of new people. most of the people there then were going to the tivoli for a movie, so i decided to go as well. we saw transamerica, a movie about an mtf transgender person who found out right before her gender reassignment surgery that she had a son. it was a really fascinating movie, and there was a question/answer session with the director afterward. after the movie...i was tired, so i went home. everyone else stayed for a second movie, but i have a hard enough time sitting through one movie, much less two, even if they're good.

now, i'm home, and i'm being lazy. i'm watching millionaire. i watch so much millionaire.
(story tipped off from eric's blog.)

apparently, some woman was so frustrated about the curriculum at the u of c that she started setting little fires in buildings. she was stressed out that her degree had not translated into a job, and she thought she worked too hard at the school.

yes. it's the u of c. of course you work hard at the u of c. if you are setting things on fire because you thought you worked too hard at the u of c, you were clearly not meant to have gone to the u of c.

Friday, November 18, 2005

i'm a boring human being. i didn't do anything of note today, really...i went to my classes, went to happy hour (didn't get to do trivia, all the spots were full...), went to delmar loop, and went home.

i got hit on really sketchily on the loop. i was on the way back to WU from the loop to catch a shuttle home. some guy, probably ten or fifteen years older than me, walks up to me when i'm waiting at the light in fron of cicero's. he starts talking to me as if he's going to ask me for directions. that's fine. then, he's like..."you should come to dinner with me. i'm from out of the country. you're american, right? it would be a cultural experience."

that's creative. ::pukegagvomit::

negative bonus points for, when he asked me if i was from here and i replied, "no, i grew up in NC", that he went off about Billy Graham.

really, i think that's the strangest attempt at flirtation that anyone's made with me since mister Cheese Is How You Get Laid In The Real World, back in September of 2003.

otherwise...more memerifficness before i finally curl up and pass out.

1)Where did you graduate from and what year?
millbrook high, raleigh, nc, 2000

2)Did you have school pride?
i was a special case...i hated it there, but i had nothing else to do, so i was the mascot and was on the school spirit committee. school pride was less something i felt and more something i did.

3)Was your Prom a night to remember?
it was a night to remember, if by "remember" you mean "it sucked."

4)What was your fav. song you danced to the night of PROM?
ask me if i remember any of the songs they played at prom.

5)Do you own all 4 Yearbooks ?
of course...

6)Do you remember the First CD you ever bought?
"fairweather johnson" by hootie and the blowfish. (yeah, i suck that much.)

7)What was your fav. movie in high school?
schindler's list

8)What was your number one choice college?
i didn't have a bloody idea until i was a senior in high school...then i was torn between chicago and mit, agonized over it for months after getting in both places, and finally, thankfully, picked chicago.

9)What radio station did you jam out to in high school?
96 rock.

10)Were you involved in any organizations or clubs?
chorus, octet (my senior year), drama (costume crew), student government (class council my freshman year, executive board the other three years)

11)What was your fav class in high school?
chorus and physics. (yes, i know, totally unrelated...but they were both so much fun!)

12)Who was your big crush in high school?
wouldn't you like to know. :)

13)Would you say you have changed a lot since high school?
in a lot of ways i'm the same person...but i'm a lot more confident about myself, and i'm a lot more open about the fact that i'm nuttier than a fruitcake.

14) What do you miss the most about it?
i really don't miss jack about high school.

15)Your worst memory of HS?
really, almost everything. but, if i had to pick one particular memory...hands-down, senior prom. All Sorts Of Depressing. i'll spare the details, since anyone who is reading this has probably heard me bitch about all the gory details of why it was so horrible.

16)Did you have a car?
last semester, i had a 1985 chevy celebrity

17)What were your school colors ?
blue and white

18)Who was your fav. teacher?
either mrs. marley or mr. prim

19)Did you own a cell phone in highschool?
no freaking way. i didn't get one until summer before my last year of college.

20)Did you leave campus for lunch?
i had a pass both junior and senior year, but i think between the two years i left campus a whole three times

21)If so, where was your fav. place to go eat?
ummm...the cafeteria, where i ate the sack lunches i brought from home?

22)Were you always late to class?
never, unless i was caught up at my locker which was invariably all the way back at the auto shop

23) you ever have to stay for Sat. School? (or detention)

24)Did you ever Ditch?
never...i didn't get into ditching until i started college.

25) When it comes time for the reunion will you be there?
i have a huge sense of car crash fascination about many things. my high school reunion is one of them. of course i will go. it's the only reason i'll be caught dead in north carolina ever again.
this is a curious little game.

Guess that Friend

i am proud of myself. i did it, and got all but one of them correct. the one i got wrong, i really don't think should count, since it was the "if your eyes pass over this entry, say something about me" meme...which a TON of my friends posted. i picked one of my friends who had done it, on the multiple choice, and apparently the quiz culled it from someone else's journal.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

so, the prize for Most Naive Person Ever goes to...drumroll please...

Cardinal William Keeler, co-chair of the Religious Alliance Against Pornography!!


he gets this distinguished award for part of the warning he gave to parents about giving their children wireless devices such as iPods, cell phones, and PDAs. he warned that they could be used to download pornography. none of this is why he is so naive.

he proceeded to make the stunning observation:

"Sadly, unwanted pornography often leads to wanted pornography."

UNWANTED pornography??? who has ever heard of such a thing!!! clearly, i need to sit Cardinal Keeler down and explain to him a little thing called curiosity. adolescents are curious about lots of things. generally, the top item, or almost the top item, on any adolescent's list of things about which they are curious is sex. there is nothing unwanted at all about teenagers realising, "hey, i can use this thing to look at boobies/cocks/et cetera!"

sure, looking at some pornography may lead to looking at more pornography. i think it's a pretty common sentiment: looking at naked people is fun! many people learn this when they log onto the internet and look at pornography for the first time.

in short, i find it silly for him to think that he thinks the problem starts with accidental viewing of "unwanted pornography." if a teenager, or someone else, for that matter, wants to look at porn, they will search it out. they don't need to stumble upon it. if they do not want to look at porn, they will steer clear.

it is completely within Cardinal Keeler's rights to believe that pornography is some kind of evil, some kind of thing against God. i happen not to agree. but, if he wants to garner support and get more backing for his movement, it would behoove him to not make such blatant displays of naivete.
i heart snarky advice, and Amy Dickinson's column today provided me with some amusement in the form of snarky advice.

a woman wrote in, discussing how her boyfriend is repeatedly cheating on her. she asks Amy:

" He vowed to be faithful if I would give him one more chance, so I let him come back.
Well, it's been six months and I believe that he is up to his old tricks. I see the signs and I have a strong instinct that he is cheating again.
Should I pray that he will keep his word or should I go ahead and kick him permanently to the curb before he breaks my heart again?"

Amy replies:

"I vote for praying.
And because this is a full-service advice column, I'll even supply the prayer.
"Lord, give me the strength to kick Steve permanently to the curb and give me the will to resist him now and forevermore."
Amen, sister."

that amused me. a lot.

not to mention, it's dead correct advice.
in the "notes and questions" section of my property textbook, it keeps asking "do you see why?" after discussing propositions in other note cases and articles.

does anyone else find this funny, or am i the only one here who abides by the gospel of one David Sklansky?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

today, i was the board-certified Worst Student Ever.

i ditched all my classes to try and write this memo that is due, at least in almost-complete draft form, tomorrow (or, i guess, today) at 10. i got so little done on it that it wasn't even funny. i had seven pages by the time i went to trial team practice at 6 today.

trial team lasted until almost midnight. i wasn't home from steak n shake after practice until 1:30, almost.

now, i am going to be up all night, or at least almost all night, and not be prepared for any of my classes. plus, i am going to be very tired all day tomorrow. oops.

still, very amusing thing said at trial team today. when the meeting was breaking up, the judge had everyone gather around for a prayer. he said something to the effect of how the trial team should carry jesus with them to the tournament. one very sarcastic member of the trial team replied, "sorry, we're running out of space in our carry-ons." that amused me a lot...everyone laughed hysterically at that one.

the other great story from the day... so, my birthday is saturday. since my boyfriend will be out of town on the trial team trip, he gave me birthday presents today. he decided, instead of wrapping them, to hide them in my apartment. i swear, that boy is the master of hiding things in plain view. it took me a while to find the present that was hidden in an obvious place...i had scoured the living room many times, looked all around the tv and the dvds...and not noticed at all that he had hidden the 3 dvds in the beavis and butt-head dvd set among my roommate's dvds. slick.

the other present he hid was even better hidden. i was looking all over the place, and still couldn't find it. finally, after twenty or thirty minutes of frantic searching, he had some mercy on me and decided to play hot or cold, as i requested. he kept saying "hot" in a certain part of my room. i picked up a storm of swords, a book that i knew had been in my room since forever, and put it aside, saying that i knew it wasn't it. finally, i kept searching, playing hot or cold, and said, in exasperation, "hot always seems to be near this book!" i pick up a storm of swords again...flip through it, only to realise that under the dust jacket, he had replaced that book with a feast for crows...the new george r.r. martin book, and my other birthday present.

clever clever clever boy.

Monday, November 14, 2005

last night, i was at a birthday party for my boyfriend's cousin. most of the people there were adults, but there were a few kids. one of the kids was playing with this sesame street toy. you pushed a button, and a character would pop out, singing its signature song.

oscar the grouch was on there, and he was singing "i love trash." i hadn't heard that song since i was a little kid.

i thought that was absolutely hilarious.

i'm surprised i didn't scare his entire extended family, as hard as i laughed when i heard that toy.

(and now, some lyrics, just because.)

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash

i have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn
it's all full of holes and the laces are torn
a gift from my mother the day i was born
i love it because it's trash

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash

i have here some newspaper thirteen months old
i wrapped fish inside it
it's smelly and cold
but i wouldn't trade it for a big pot of gold
i love it because it's trash

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash

i've a clock that won't work
and an old telephone
a broken umbrella
a rusty trombone
and i am delighted to call them my own
i love them because they're trash
oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love
i love
i love trash

Sunday, November 13, 2005

i had the best intentions last night. i was going to get up, be at school by ten, and then work all day. that definitely did not happen. i woke up early enough, and then i decided that it was too early for me to get going. so, i turned off the alarm, rolled over, and went back to bed.

bad move. i had this really long, involved dream about getting kidnapped and being forced to colour within the lines, and i finally woke up when i was still locked in the castle, hiding in the restroom, waiting for my kidnapper to disappear so i could call for help (i still had my phone, for some reason.) my eyes opened, i looked at the clock...and it was almost 12:30. oops.

let's just say...thank goodness that my memo draft is not due until wednesday. thank goodness the only thing i have to do tomorrow is go to torts class, and i have the rest of the day to work.

last night i was productive, but in a very non-school-like kind of way. i went through more of my cds and ripped them to my itunes. i'm now over a thousand songs on my computer. this makes me happy. i dug up some random songs, samplers, mix cds that i had forgotten i had, or at least feared i had lost along the way. i still don't have all my music on my computer yet, but i've got a lot of it now. the only hitch in the operation was...apparently my copy of "i've suffered a head injury" by the verve pipe got scratched up so that the first and last songs will not rip. the rest of them are good...but really, it's a major loss not to have "ark of the envious" or "martyr material" on my computer. that needs to be fixed, somehow. those are some good songs.

the thing i was most excited about finding was my old mix cd from the summer after my first year of college. it had a bunch of random stuff that i had downloaded that some guy on my hallway who had a cd burner burned for me. i had some really random stuff on there..."for the movies" by buckcherry, "flagpole sitta" by harvey danger, "stay awake" by dishwalla...and it also had "alone" by angie aparo, a song he had posted for download online but never put on an album. i thought i had lost the ability to listen to that one forever.

speaking of itunes, i am way too fascinated by the play count feature. i love looking at the "most played songs" screen and seeing what songs are in my top 25. sometimes i look at it and go, "i've listened to that song that much? wow. anyway, for no good reason, these are my top 25 most played songs over the last several months...since late august, when i got this computer.

1. "first day of my life" by the rasmus
2. "can't talk to you" by krim
3. "when the lights go out" by lazyeye
4. "paper wings" by rise against
5. "garden" by 39 reasons
6. "get over" by the marvelous 3
7. "give it all" by rise against
8. "analogue" by spirit creek
9. "control" by threequartersmile
10. "what you gave here wasn't fear" by grundig
11. "gold dust vs. state of illinois" by spitalfield
12. "answer" by star crash speedway
13. "it's over" by ditchwater
14. "mr. walker" by gemie
15. "confessional" by second coming
16. "the nurse with amnesia" by shades of fiction
17. "send in the clowns" by cold
18. "complicated questions" by finger eleven
19. "radio tokyo" by the marvelous 3
20. "funeral song" by the rasmus
21. "thicker" by the blank theory
22. "last call" by eve to adam
23. "killer inside" by krim
24. "cling and clatter" by lifehouse
25. "in the shadows" by the rasmus

i'm curious...any of you guys out there with itunes, what's your top 25?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

tobey torres is not the lead singer of snake river conspiracy anymore.

that is sad.

she was a good singer.

she's also really hot.

Friday, November 11, 2005

i don't have one unitary post this morning, but rather a bunch of little observations, episodes, and aphorisms i've picked up over the last twenty-four hours or so.

1. last night was all sorts of mock trial nerdity. practice started around six...or, i guess, the trial team met at six and the trial didn't start until 6:45 or seven. no one else came as a witness but the team members practiced their witnesses on direct (the way it works is there are two attorneys per side, who play the witnesses on the other side), but to throw people curves, the judge made me do every single witness on cross. that was fun. it was especially fun throwing the boy some curves...he crosses the expert, and i came up with lots of interpretations and inventions. on some of them he could tie me down to his original point, but on some of them he just had to move on. it was amusing playing four different characters in a night, and getting crossed again. anyway...the trial went on until 11:30, since there were some commments and edits at points during the trial. then, the judge gave comments until 1:30 am. i wouldn't have put it past him to run practice until 11:30 or midnight, but i don't think i'd have given him credit for running one until 1:30 until i saw it with my own two eyes. still, the trial team found the comments helpful, i found them interesting to listen to, so it was worth being at school that late.

2. skeeves suck. asshats suck. skeevy asshats really suck.

3. mock trial regionals are out. the thing they're doing in greenville, with two concurrent regionals with different and balanced fields, is pure genius. they should adopt that elsewhere, or at least the idea of balancing regions in a locality as best as they can. they should do this in the midwest, since it's...a bit out of whack. you've got the south bend regional, which really only has one team: notre dame. you've got milwaukee, which is a pretty top heavy regional, but it's going to be a bear getting a gold bid out of there with chicago, uw-madison, northwestern, and marquette all fighting it out at the top. the imbalance between south bend and milwaukee is rather confusing; it makes no sense that they didn't ship the UC or NW squads over there.

and two less-than-overpowering regionals in pennsylvania? that's odd. there's gettysburg, pennsylvania...where it looks as though we should hand lots of shiny things to UVa, stat. (although, to be fair, shipping UVa makes baltimore a smidge less of a bloodbath than DC was last year...because DC was a bloodbath last year.) and then, there's indiana, pennsylvania...where it looks like michigan and penn state get to divide up the spoils.

then, there are just some geographic oddities. iowa to joliet? weber state to miami, ohio? slu to columbia, but cmsu to st. louis? has anyone looked at these things called "maps"? sometimes they are useful.

4. i was a bad person. i ditched legal writing today. i thought it was the least i could do for being up for trial so was nice to get the extra hour of sleep. besides, i have a late class today...i have property from 3pm-5pm. this is annoying, as happy hour starts at 4. i like happy hour lots more than property class.

5. Cheez Us walked on water. Actually, it was the sidewalk...but damn, that was some good crack! (smoking crack makes everything funnier.)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

well, callbacks for the vagina monologues were posted this morning. i thought my audition last night went well, but i didn't even get a callback. i'm disappointed. guess it wasn't good enough.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

my audition for the vagina monologues is tonight at 7:35. i hope i make would be a blast to do a play again, for the first time since i was seventeen...and it would be really amusing to be on stage talking to people about vaginae. :)
the kansas school board has officially adopted intelligent design. grrrrr...

but, the foof has made a really awesome comic about it. here's hoping God finds it and gets ideas.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

this is amusing...apparently, according to the formula used to calculate how much the blogs involved in the aol/weblogs, inc. deal were worth, my little blog is worth some cash...

don't worry, i'm not selling out...i have school loans. there's no need to whore off my little corner of the web-o-sphere yet.

My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?

"you're welcome to give me other criticisms, such as 'don't spend class time apologizing.' that would, of course, lead me to spending class time apologizing for that."
--Professor Gunn

did i ever mention that he's awesome?

Monday, November 07, 2005

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

i expressly told my mother not to give my contact information to my father.

today, my mother told me on the phone that she gave my brother my information and asked him to give it to my father, and that he's "trying to get in touch with me."

she was also asking me to call him, email him, send him a letter, anything.

i still have no desire to talk to him or associate with him ever again. i now am extremely angry at her for trying to pass my contact information along to him.

this also means i'm going to be on edge whenever my phone rings, and have to stay extra diligent about looking at who's calling, and passing unknown numbers (i have a phone number for him, but i don't know if it's still current or not...) along to my voice mail.

i don't need this.
this weekend has been pretty lazy... it's been nice, but i am still envious of every single one of you who got to spend this weekend at a mock trial tournament, be it macalester or kansas. you all rock...and i am hopelessly addicted to mock trial.

as for me...friday was party night. went to happy hour, found out about some guy who was throwing a house party, went there. talked to lots of people, played quarters for the first time ever, realised that i really, really suck at quarters. i should not play drinking games, ever. i suck at drinking games. walked home from said party...i'm getting really good at making very long walks through st. louis, u-city, and clayton, at getting home from random parties with my own two feet. they're a little longer than the walks home that i was used to in chicago, but there also aren't crack dealers. yay for that.

yesterday i spent the morning watching bad game shows. then, i went over to hilary's to watch evita. i had never seen it was really good, and madonna makes a surprisingly awesome eva peron. then, the evening i spent hanging around home with the boy, watching football or poker or whatever was on, and doing a lot of nothing.

today, i slept in. i did not leave bed until almost noon. i watched a little bad tv (jeopardy, love connection...i guess it wasn't THAT bad), and then went to school. i intended to be productive when i got to school, but i haven't been, so far. i got to school, and decided to drop into mallinckrodt (the student union, where the shuttle dropped me off) to post the macalester results to perjuries.

in there, i saw a sign for some upcoming auditions for a campus performance of the vagina monologues. i'm going to go ahead and try audition is wednesday evening at 7:35. i say it's worth a shot...i haven't acted in way too long, and i really, really, really need some sort of non-law-school-related involvement. if i make this play, that will be a really nice change of pace...and i'll get to perform. i love performing.

now, i'm finally at the law school. i've printed out some cases for my open memo, but i'm not going to go through that stuff until tomorrow. tomorrow, i only have 1 class, from 9-10 in the morning, and then nothing else to do on campus but homework. since i'm staying until chris gets out of class at 7:30, that should leave me lots of time to do lots of reading, work, and other assorted productive things.

well, guess i should go and actually read my torts. the sooner i get that done, the sooner i can go be really unproductive again...that, or start working on my audition monologue. i haven't decided yet if i'm going to use one of the three in the audition packet, or do my own. they said you cand do one of your own, if you want...and i have a great idea for one.

Friday, November 04, 2005

i found this article online. apparently, people are complaining about the fact that parts of downtown chicago smell like chocolate.

this makes me really sad. it's one of the coolest things about downtown chicago...something that always brought a smile to my face when i walked around. what other cities have vast swaths of the main commercial district that smell like chocolate? i can't think of one. i don't mind the EPA busting the plant for dust, and i'm all for stopping the plant from releasing more dust into the air. but, i can't believe people are complaining about the chocolate. it's a bit of whimsy in the midst of the city.

they don't deserve a lawsuit for the yummy chocolate scent. they deserve a medal.
today i had a federal judge compare me to Aileen Wuornos.

i was playing officer juarez in the mock trial today...that was the corrupt cop. i was a hostile witness for the plaintiff. i was being a hard-nosed jerk, not particularly talkative at all, and unapologetic for what i did. (it's a legal malpractice case...the plaintiff is suing the defense attorney from her assault trial, and i played the cop who planted the gun and claimed she assaulted me.) anyway, i finish my testimony, the coaches go over the attorneys' comments, and then the head coach goes:

"has anyone seen monster, that movie with charlize theron? you were the main character from that movie, the serial killer!"

that amused me way too much. i thought i was being menacing, i had no idea i came off as that menacing. then again, he had never seen me before as anything but bubbly and enthusiastic.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

shiny: over the last two weeks, i've gone in and watched a few trials with the law school trial team.

shinier: i get to play a witness tonight.

shiniest: he's a cop. he's a corrupt cop. he's a corrupt cop who gets to enter lots of evidence and frame facts in fun ways. i have seen the cross of this cop before, and i'm going to get to throw the crossing attorney for a loop...or two...or ten.

man, it's going to be awesome being back on a witness stand tonight.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

i should be reading. i'm doing an internet survey. go figure.

1. Spell your first name backwards: ellocin
2. Story behind your name: my parents wanted something that sounded vaguely french
3. How old are you: 22
4. Where do you live: clayton,'s just outside of st. louis


5. cell phone: boring and old. it's grey in a black cell phone caddy. it's a nokia...not a lot of features, but it works
6.wallet: ummm...shove my money and cards into my pants pocket every morning?
7. Toothbrush: crest spinbrush
8. Jewelry worn daily: jewelry? me? Stop Smoking Crack! i hate jewelry.
9. Morning routine: get up, be really envious of the boy because he gets to stay in bed, shower, get dressed, get to the bus stop
10. Pillow cover right now: black
13. Sunglasses: i look like a moron in sunglasses, and have not worn them in years
14. Favorite shirt: my inept's oldschool :)
15. Cologne/Perfume: i like chanel no. 5...but i haven't actually worn perfume or cologne in years
16. CD in stereo right now: stereo busted when i mailed it here from chicago, so nothing. :( i just listen to music on my computer.
18. What you are wearing now: jeans, a U of C O-Aide shirt from 2003, socks
19. Wishing: i could either sleep or force myself to read
20. Wanting: my boyfriend to get over here
21. After this: doing my reading for tomorrow
22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone: i know exactly who i would kill. if you know me well enough, you know who that would be.
23. Person you wish you could see right now: chris
24. Some of your favorite movies: beavis and butt-head do america, the big lebowski
25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: saturday, when i can sleep in
26. The last thing you ate: a turkey sandwich
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: dying
28. Do you like candles: i like how they smell, but i don't keep them around because i'm too absentminded to remember to blow them out
29. Do you like incense: i like it, but don't actually seek it out or keep it around.
30. Do you like the taste of blood: yeah. i'm weird.
31. Do you believe in love: yes
32. Do you believe in soul mates: no...the idea of soul mates is tied too deeply into that whole, misleading idea that people are suited to be with just one person, forever. it's crap.
33. Do you believe in love at first sight: no...i believe in really, really wanting to get it on with someone at first sight, but that's really about it
34. Do you believe in Heaven: no
35. Do you believe in God: yes
36. What do you want done with your body when you die: donate my organs and bury the rest
37. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be: i want a dog when i'm older, although i know i don't have the time or energy to have a dog now
38. What is the longest you've ever stayed up: about 40 hours
39. Can you eat with chopsticks: indeed...i learned really fast, given the proliferation of thai restaurants in hyde park. (yes, i know, the thais don't actually eat with chopsticks, but the restaurants all had them, and it was fun to learn)
40. What's your favorite coin: sacagawea dollars. they're amusing, and not commonly enough used. it's really shiny...if you use the metrolink here, they give you your change in sacagawea dollars.
41. What are some of your favorite candies: dark chocolate anything...special dark, godiva truffles...
42. What's something that you wish people would understand about you: everyone knows i'm extremely weird...but people need to know that i can't actually hide it. it's impossible. i've tried and i've failed--so i've given up on even pretending at normalcy. if you know this, you're going to get along with me a lot better
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: contract law (this
44. Who is someone that you really wish was still around: all my friends in chicago


45. Who are your best friends: you know who you are
46. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
47. Longest relationship: about a year and a half (i.e., my current one)
48. How many actual relationships have you been in: 2
49. How many people have you kissed: ummmm...25? 30? something like that?
51. Still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with: nope. i'm brutally efficient at moving on.
52. Do you know what it feels like to be in love: indeed
53. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends: absolutely


54. Where is your favorite place to shop: disgraceland, back in chicago
55. Have any tattoos: no...sometimes it makes me feel empty that i can't think of anything that i'd want put on my body for the rest of my life, but i'm indecisive like that
56. What is your favorite thing to wear: a black vinyl dress. (i have two now...wheeee!)
57. What is a must have accessory: i don't do accessories.
58. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing: $140 on a dress, a few years ago
60. Who is the least fashionable person you know: yours truly
61. Do you match your belt with your hair color: ummm...i own one black belt...that's it...and my hair hasn't been black since summer of '04
62. What is the worst thing you've ever thought looked good: i had perms when i was a kid. ew.
64. How many pairs of shoes do you own: seven
65. What is the worst trend you see today: fundamentalism


1. Do you do drugs: no, unless you count the booze as a drug
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: suave
4. What are you listening to right now: family feud on tv
5. Who was the last person that called: some dillweed who tried to send me a fax on my cellphone number
6. Where do you want to get married: married? me? maybe when pigs fly.
7. How many buddies are online right now: 40
8. What would you change about yourself: i need to be less of an airhead
9. What are essentials in your life: sleep, coffee, my friends
12. Do you send out holiday cards each year: no. i hate holidays.


1. Hair: short, but getting a little too long. starting to touch my ears. that's a problem.
2. make-up: none
3. music: ummm...i had breaking benjamin ringing in my head at school today
4. mood: lethargic
so, i got my memo back today, the one that i turned in a few weeks ago, the first one that was actually curved and graded.

frankly, i'm disappointed. i probably shouldn't be, but i'm disappointed. i made a couple of moronic, moronic mistakes in it, and i should have done a lot better than i did.

i suck. if i don't do better on my open memo, i'll never forgive myself.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

i had all these intentions of going to bed...but, i've been playing with openoffice. i can edit all of my word files that i couldn't edit this morning...and it's not a microsoft program! it's rather shiny, if i may say so myself. rock for the recommendation.