Friday, December 30, 2005

i'm finally back in chicago. i was up at 5:15 this morning, it's 1:30 am now. i'm too tired to think clearly, but too wound up to get any sleep.

once i got off airplane after airplane, it's been a pretty nice, calm day. i've spent the evening over with kevin, and it's involved such lazy fun as family guy, more family guy, trivial pursuit, and Breakfast For Dinner at salonica. mmmmmm...greasy spoon...

i don't know why i can't just make myself sleep. i had some bad tv on for a while...elimidate...but that's over now, and there's nothing but paid programming. there's Bad TV (people's court, blind date, etc.), Really Bad TV (judge mathis, jerry springer, shop 'til you drop, etc.), and Unwatchably Bad TV (paid programming, cops, etc.) it's better just having it off, and staring into space (or at this computer screen, as the case may be) before i eventually doze off. i'll probably end up sleeping so late...

it just feels so good to be back in chicago. as much as i know i needed to move, it always feels so good to come back...to see my friends, to hang around all the old haunts...it's a great feeling.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

my last day here was going precariously well, and now this. why does she want me to talk to that man? why does she claim i never told her not to give my contact information to him? why does she keep prodding me for more explanation, when all i have is the explanation that i have? why does she implore me to talk to him, to read his letters, when all he has brought me is grief? why?

i'd say at least i'm leaving tomorrow, but i can see the fallout from this lasting way longer than that.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

in boise, not dead. gets more awkward by the day. i need out.

anyway. another end-of-the-year survey, yanked from squelch84

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
well, i started law school...that's definitely something new. beyond that...i really can't think of anything.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i haven't made resolutions in years. new year's isn't a time for resolutions or anything important or deep...it's an excuse to party, and that's about it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope, i don't know anyone who had a kid

4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year.

5. What countries did you visit?
just various places in the USA

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
the ability to undermine my apathy...it's slowly creeping back, but too slowly for my tastes

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
august 1...the day i moved to st. louis

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting into law school

9. What was your biggest failure?
my inability to keep myself particularly afloat on my year off

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
a few colds, but that's about it

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my shiny new laptop

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
everyone who's been nice enough to stick with me through my insanities and bad times

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
does it count if the behaviour was all before 2005, but i'm still appalled by it?

14. Where did most of your money go?
bills, rent, school expenses, hanging out

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
mock trial (coaching at chicago the first part of the year, participating in law school mock now), starting law school

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"first day of my life" by the rasmus is definitely the song of the second half of 2005...since i listened to it so darn much that it became a personal law school theme song. first half of the year..."can't talk to you" by KRIM, since i love that song and it came on radio.wazee all the time.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
definitely happier
ii. thinner or fatter? .
about the same
iii. richer or poorer?
richer immediately (since i'm not living paycheck to bloody paycheck anymore), poorer in the long run (since it's because of school loans).

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
does it count if i'm still in love with someone i fell for last year?

23. How did you spend Christmas?
in boise with my mom, aunt, and brothers

24. What was your favorite TV program?
still beavis and butt-head.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no. i only truly hate one person, and i hated him this time last year too.

26. What was the best book you read?
i'm trying to remember what all i read this year...Bi America was really good...so were all those David Sklansky books i read and reread this year...

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i can't remember if i discovered KRIM early this year or late last year, but they are a bag full of awesome. The Rasmus and Rise Against are also up there as far as great new bands i dug up this year.

28. What did you want and get?
to get into wash u law

29. What did you want and not get?
*whistles*

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
wedding crashers. i should have died laughing watching that flick. it was dizzyingly hilarious.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i slept in, went to lunch and out shopping with hilary, then went to a bi alliance meeting and saw transamerica at the tivoli. then i went home and hung out with my roommate, her boyfriend, and some of their friends. i turned 23.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not being so bloody broke when i was in chicago

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
whatever i feel like throwing on...still, usually, black band shirts and jeans

34. What kept you sane?
my boyfriend, my friends, poker, and lots of bad tv

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
hmmmm...i can't think of one who i particularly fancied

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the way the religious right seems to have no qualms about trying to make this a fundamentalist christian nation

37. Who did you miss?
before august...i missed chris, since i didn't get to see them often. afterwards? all my friends in chicago, who i now can't see very often.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i hate listing "bests" with respect to people, but i've met some really awesome people in law school this year.

39. Did anyone close to you get married?
nope

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"i can't tell if you're laughing
between each smile there's a tear in your eye
there's a train leaving town in an hour
it's not waiting for you
and neither am i"
"paper wings"
by rise against

Sunday, December 25, 2005

sigh. i don't think this would be so offensive if it weren't tied into a church who believed that homosexuality is wrong. i think a "mr. heterosexual" pageant would be pretty darn hilarious to watch, since ripping up oprah magazines and naming chips and stuff is hilarious in a self-awareness-of-male-stereotypes kind of way. it just goes from funny to infuriating because it's being tied into an ex-gay coming to speak, it's being tied into the jesus-will-free-you-from-being-queer kind of angle. that means that however amusing the pageant events themselves are, the event is not funny, but heterosexist.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

you know you're in law school when you read this, and all you can think of is hamer v. sidway.

Friday, December 23, 2005

i was thoroughly mediocre in college.

i resolved my grades would be better in law school.

i saw my contracts final grade today.

i fail at life. barring a miracle on my other two finals, i am moving into that cardboard box somewhere in east st. louis. i should be better than this. clearly, i'm not. the part of me that ruled a year ago, the part of me that said i was not good enough...that part was right. i really am too stupid for this law school thing.
scrooges unite.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

now i can empathize with the people on death row...who know their day is drawing nigh, who want to do anything to stop it, and they can't actually do anything to stop it. they have appeals, but appeals are usually just about as futile as me doing something crazy tomorrow, like deliberately missing my flight out of kansas city tomorrow.

i can't do it. i'm losing my nerve.

Monday, December 19, 2005

well...i'm finally unwinding after finals week. i'm in florida right now, at chris' family's condo in santa rosa beach. it's awesome...it's in the sixties, not too warm...the beach is pretty to look at, there are lots of cute restaurants, and since it's the middle of december it's really laid-back, not too full of tourists. (yes, i know, i am a tourist here, but that doesn't mean i have to like other tourists.) i've been so lazy so far...after an awful, delay-laden time getting here, it's been so smooth and laid-back since...sleeping in, lying around, only going out when we feel like it... it's awesome.

i saw the 40 year old virgin tonight. i would have guessed it would be awkward watching it with chris' whole family, including his parents, but they found it just as amusing as the rest of us. that movie was so funny; i laughed so hard at a lot of it. still, beyond its being funny...i don't care if you're twenty, thirty, or forty...even though losing one's virginity is not generally as hilarious as in that movie, it still does a darn good job of portraying the anxiety of having sex for the first time. i do think the longer you wait, the more nerve-racking it gets because you build it up in your mind. it was crazy enough getting the nerve to lose my virginity when i did, at age twenty...i can't imagine being forty.

other than that...not much going on here. i'm going to continue being lazy.

Friday, December 16, 2005

finals are over. we will not discuss them until my grades come out. when my grades come out, i will send you all notices telling me where my new residence, a cardboard box, is located.

last night was lots of fun...there was the 1L party over at m.p. o'reilly's, a bar i hadn't been to before. it was awesome...drinks, darts (yay for the machine stopping the game when we suck, right?), hanging out, girlie talk...all kinds of fun. :)

today has been all about the chores. :P drugstore run (to buy some drano that didn't freaking work), calling the landlord to fix the sink (thank goodness my landlord doesn't suck--the maintenance guy came out and fixed it, yay!), laundry...i have to pack by 4:30, but since it's 2:15 now, i'll be fine.

i've gotten to do some fun stuff too...i've been watching all sorts of bad tv. now it's divorce court. this show, like most court shows, renews my faith in the precept that People Are Stupid. this woman on the show has seven kids, she's been cheating left and right, the husband (who has TWELVE kids) has been cheating left and right...it's a mess.

i sometimes think that if stupid people watched more court shows, maybe they'd see themselves in the stupid people on the shows and try to stop being so stupid...but my realistic side says that the people will be too stupid to realise what's going on.

i'm also ripping all sorts of music to my itunes. since i'm taking my computer on winter break with me, but not my CDs, i'm trying to bring as much music as possible with me so i don't go nuts. i'm up over three days of music on my computer now...it's something, although still not enough.

anyway...that's about it from this neck of the woods.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

time for me to retire now, and become a duck.
i think the foof is the only one who will probably care about this, or find it as sad as i find it, but...

THEY ARE ADDING A NEW STOP TO THE YELLOW LINE!!!

that's sad! no more just howard, squiggly line, skokie, with no stops in between! it won't be the skokie swift anymore...it'll be the skokie-with-one-stop.

i am going to have to ride that train at least one more time when it's still the skokie swift that i know and love.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

i have lost all motivation. i studied for my first two finals, and failed them both. i have one more to go, i should be studying, but i'm wondering why i bother. therefore, i've been sitting on the couch all day, not doing anything, not going anywhere, wallowing in how much i suck.

happy finals week.

Monday, December 12, 2005

i saw the religious rightmobile on clayton road coming home from dinner tonight.

it was a white van, some variety of a dodge caravan. it had two bumperstickers on the back, one on each side: the left one said "God Bless America" with a flag on it, and the right one said "abortion stops a beating heart." neither one of those alone are too remarkable, and even both of them together aren't amazingly uncommon or unsurprising.

the real kicker was something i've never seen. they had written out, in those black stick-on letters you can buy at the hardware store, centered around the license plate, the following:

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS ONE NATION


UNDR-GD

INDIVISIBLE WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL


with "UNDR-GD" as the license plate.

highway jingoism and preaching, much? i've never seen anything like that on a car, even in a red state!
i fail at life.
i walk and i breathe
i keep searching and hoping to get across
but i seem to have lost my mask of resilience
never to be found
if those chick tracts a few days ago got you mad...this will get you madder. it's a page full of quotes...utter gems like:

"I'm an old-fashioned woman. Men should take care of women, and if men were taking care of women today, we wouldn't have to vote."
--Kay O'Connor (a female kansas state senator)

"I would like to outlaw contraception...contraception is disgusting – people using each other for pleasure."
--Joseph Scheidler (of the pro-life action league)

"Better a pink bottom than a black soul."
--Lester Roloff (opened some children's homes in Texas)

and...many more that just make you want to go and kick everyone pictured on the page.
i'm awake, studying for property some more.

i flipped on the people's court--and it's a landlord/tenant argument. it's pretty straightforward...there were leaks in the plumbing, the defendant did a repair-and-deduct (or, rather, several of them...and may have inflated her prices...), the defendant is trying to frame it as an implied warranty of habitability issue although it probably wasn't actually that bad, and the plaintiff didn't shovel snow from the apartment building premises. i wish the cases we read for landlord/tenant in school were as amusing as this one; legally it's elementary, but there are all sorts of fun barbs and insults that you don't get in a court opinion for school.

it's got to be some kind of sign...here's hoping it's a good one. yay for issue spotting on bad tv.

Sunday, December 11, 2005



Click here to view my house


according to the website, the house i drew means that:

"Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself."


some of this stuff is right on the nose, and some of it could not be further from the truth.
on the simpsons:

Lisa: "it's a dvd of a fellini movie."
Homer: "i get it! the midget represents dwarves!"

Saturday, December 10, 2005

it's been a while since i've read chick tracts, maybe a couple of years. there are a lot of new ones since i read them last...and wow, if i thought chick had gone off the deep end before, wait until you see some of the new ones. i'm not sure if i want to laugh or go find jack chick and kick him.

jesus can take a man from "my girlfriend's pregnant, i dumped her, i don't care if she aborts" to "i love you and i want to marry you!" in 45 minutes flat...

"i feel so sad about all the kids who'll be tricked into believing it's ok to be gay and not believing jesus"

mohammed was a pedophile!

"the creation of the wafer god was the greatest con job in world history" (or, transubstantiation makes communion wafers into death cookies!>

catholicism makes the virgin mary cry.

if you died today, you'd burn in hell!"...or, how a violent school will turn into a happy school if a kid drops a bunch of chick tracts in the hall

i really wish these were satirical. it confuses me that these actually convince people to change their faith.
well, i alluded last week to something that could happen that was just That Incredibly Shiny...

as of this morning, it happened. i am officially a member of the Wash U Trial Team. i am playing the expert witness on both sides on one of the teams going to the ATLA regional in kansas city this march!!!

i am so excited...never in a million years did i actually think i was going to get to go to competition as a 1L!

this has made my year.

Friday, December 09, 2005

the torts final yesterday was hell on earth. i'd say it was demoralizing, but since there's nothing in particular i can point to that i did badly (except for the overarching "Everything"), it's more numbing. it was like writing five memos in three hours. the fact pattern was sixteen pages long, and you name the tort principle, it was probably in there. converting my character count to pages, i probably wrote the equivalent of 16 or 17 pages, but it wasn't good pages...it was flipped-out crap. i got to all the parts, but some of my parts were less than steller, and the rest of them were utter disasters.

i had felt so good going in. i studied, i felt like i knew the material. i guzzled a bunch of coffee. i blasted a double-whammy of awesome music that i am now going to play before each of my finals: "burnout" by 7g and "first day of my life" by the rasmus. then...the test. the test was intentional infliction of emotional distress. i am suing.

after the test i went out with chris for a burrito, and then over to hilary's for some drinking, rescue rangers, geeky games, and hanging out. rescue rangers was not as funny when i was a kid as it is now. there was an episode where this crazy egg collector wanted a booby egg, so he stole baby booby from mommy booby...and all the characters just kept saying "booby" as much as possible. it was so wrong...and utterly hilarious.

today i have a property review session. it was supposed to be at noon...but it got moved to 12:30 for some reason. it gives me an extra half hour to surf the internet, i guess, and watch bad tv. i have mtv2 on; the rest of tv sucks, and they are having their rock countdown. they've played some pretty good stuff since i've turned it on...system of a down, fall out boy, weezer, green day...surprisingly enough, Stuff That Does Not Suck.

i hope my property final does not thoroughly vanquish me like torts just did.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

this is the kind of old lady i want to be. i want to bong the beer until i'm at least eighty-three.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

again, i'm sick of torts. you've got to love the rampant memery that finals week inevitably brings.

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.

January: oh gosh. it's 2005.

February: i'm not dead, but i'm also not back in chicago yet from dubuque.

March: in my foggy mental state while typing that entry last night, i forgot to say anything at all about how my first interview went yesterday at leona's.

April: i had one table not tip me at all last night.

May: finally got my financial aid offer from wash u on saturday...and they're giving me enough money to go!!!! :D they're even giving me a scholarship that pays for about 2/3 of my tuition!!!

June: sorry for the lack of original content...i've been alternating between being exhausted and trying to remedy being exhausted for the last couple days.

July: leona's did a darn good job of pretending not to be stupid last night.

August: so, i've finally done it. i moved to st. louis yesterday.

September: hilarious onion article!!!

October: this morning's the negotiation competition. wish me luck.

November: i had all these intentions of going to bed...but, i've been playing with openoffice.

December: i was clearing out the junk mail on my hotmail. there was an email in there with the subject line: "AREYOUBIGENOUGHFrontrowgirl?"

alright, so some of them are significant...and some of them are just stupid.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

alright...i'm a sucker for music memes...and procrastination. my torts outline is done, so i can do this...right??

The iTunes Meme

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs: 1027

Sort by song title:
First Song:
"the war" by second coming (it was down with the quotes for some reason...barring the quotes, it's #27 by the marvelous 3)
Last Song: "your way right away" by wesley willis

Sort by Time:
Shortest Song:
"welcome" by the offspring--0:09
Longest Song: "forget" by 8stops7: 12:09

Most Played: "first day of my life" by the rasmus--14 plays

First Song that Comes up in Shuffle: "until you see" by the marvelous 3

Search for:
Sex:
14 songs (the entire listing from readysexgo by the marvelous 3, and then "valley of disarray" by 12 volt sex)
Death: nothing (i know, i'm shocked!)
Love: 32 songs (all of love or perish by the pocket rockets, a ton of tracks from loved like a milkshake, a wesley willis tribute album, plus "anti-love song" by cold, "fist like a glove" by emmet swimming, "ohio is for lovers" by hawthorne heights, "vampires in love" and "cigarette lighter lovesong" by the marvelous 3, "the one i love" by REM, "the one i love" by the rasmus [not an REM cover!], "love her" by seether, "miss you love" by silverchair, "lovesong" and "more than love" by snake river conspiracy, and "crispin hellion glover" by wesley willis")
You: 91 songs (yeah, there's no freaking way i'm detailing all these :) )
so, kickboxer is on spike tv right now. that in itself is not very amusing. what's amusing are the little segments that spike is throwing in before commercial breaks. (if you read this before 10:30 central time, you should turn on spike tv now!) for this movie, they've got the two hosts, the beer-guzzling-manly-man-type and the ditzy-hot-blonde type, playing five card stud with a celebrity guest.

the celebrity guest is scott stapp.

an extremely high scott stapp.

this is absolutely priceless. most of it i can't do justice to here, just because most of the humour is in the high-as-a-kite mannerisms of mr. stapp. but, there have been a couple of quotables...and by quotable, i mean you will either giggle or bang your head against the desk when you read them.

male announcer: "so, we're going to play some five card stud..."
stapp: "STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!"

and

male announcer: "do you like las vegas?"
stapp: "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...." (theoretically this should at least end in a mumbled yes or no. it did not. he said the longest "uhhh" i've ever heard, and then eventually proceeded to start trash talking the announcers about how he is going to beat them at poker.)

and

male announcer: "most dreaded father-son conversation: where babies come from, or what's a groupie?"
stapp: "well, my son thinks babies come from my sack..."

how the mighty have fallen.
this is a great idea. paying drug addicts to go on long term or permanent birth control? frankly, i think it's brilliant. i'm all for encouraging drug addicts to not have kids, at least until they have kicked the habit...i'm sure most drug addicts are just not responsible enough, financially or otherwise, to have kids. it can physically mess up the kid at birth, and mess them up mentally if they're raised in a house where the parent(s) are on drugs. if they choose to keep having sex, it's probably best for them and for society if they are not reproducing. and, paying them to take this responsible step...the cynic in me knows that many peope are not going to be very likely to get birth control without some sort of external reason. really, i can't think of anything that would do the trick better than money.

Monday, December 05, 2005

exchange between me and the boy:

"hey, i just took this really funny test: which intentional tort are you? take a guess...what did it give me?"
"negligence?"
"intentional tort, dear."

and, it proceeded, and got funny for a different reason...

"ah, intentional...trespassing?"
"nope. i got intentional infliction of emotional distress."
"that's one i'm glad i didn't get right, for doghouse purposes."

hehehehe.
::memery tort::

(all you Chicagoans especially need to check this one out, thanks to the little u(c) shoutout as the archetypal "serious, academic, competitive school")

and, i think this picked the perfect tort that i personify.





take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.


and go to mewing.net. because law school made laura do this.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

what i should be saying/feeling: "i've been studying torts so much, i'm sick of torts, i've spent my last several days reading torts, torts, torts, torts, torts, torts."

what i have been doing: nothing. absolutely nothing, at least studywise. friday i had contracts class and a property session, but other than that, i was lazy. i went out for a burger with a couple of my classmates, and we reminisced about how crazy it is that the semester is drawing to a close. then, i lazed around with chris the rest of the night.

yesterday, i didn't touch anything school-related. i went to go see rent...it was very good, although i'd love to see the stage play now, especially since the last thirty minutes or so of the movie seemed to jump from here to there, i'd love to see the actual plot continuity. then, i went home, and chilled with chris for the rest of the night. we got indian food (mmmm...naan, and spinach and paneer cheese...mmmm), played monopoly, and watched oh so much football.

today...i do need to crack them torts books. ugh.

but, because melissa tagged me on them, i've got some memery going on.

My Five Weird Habits/Facts

1. when i was a kid, i loved peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. my parents made them, and i thought they were the most normal things ever until i got older and people made fun of me for bringing them to school. i haven't eaten one in forever, but i'd make one right now if i had some mayo in the house. i'm particular--it must be jif creamy peanut butter and hellmann's real mayonnaise--but they're oh-so-good.

2. i know it's childish, but i still bite my nails. i don't think i'm ever going to stop biting my nails. i don't know why i started doing it, i don't know why i keep doing it, but it's something i don't even really think about anymore. i just...do it.

3. i am still profoundly arachnophobic. it has not improved since i was a kid. when i was a girl, my siblings would grab daddy long legs (the kind of spider i'm most afraid of) and run at me with them; i'd sprint away as fast as i could, go inside, and lock myself in a room in the house. in high school, i saw a spider on a chorus trip, and people still remember that i shrieked "get it off me! get it off me!", and jumped and ran. (yes, someone i knew from chorus, who i hadn't talked to since high school, emailed me on myspace recently and said she remembered me for that incident.) now, i still scream and run. i saw some daddy long legs while camping last year--i screamed, ran, and made my boyfriend kill it. same with a daddy long legs i saw a few months ago. as you can see, my response has remained the same despite the fact that i'm theoretically an adult now.

4. i go psycho at concerts. i try to get in the front row, i jump, i sing along when i know the words. this happens whether i'm at an all-ages show with plenty of sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year olds who do that too, or if i'm at a 21 and over show where i'm literally the only person in the audience crazily rocking out. i've tried once or twice to calm myself down, not act so crazy, but i can't do it. i hear live music, i involuntarily jerk, twitch, jump, and scream. it's hard wired.

5. i tend to say whatever's on my mind, in the sense of a stream of consciousness. when i tell stories, i digress to unimportant details that are somehow wired to matter to me. when i'm not telling stories, and some stupid observation pops into my head, i make it verbally. people think i'm crazy for doing this.


Ten things that make me happy

1. going to a concert for a band i know and love
2. staying in bed extremely late in the morning
3. stuffed chicago pizza
4. going out and singing karaoke
5. reading a book that i just can't put down
6. playing board games
7. escaping from any and all responsibility
8. watching the game show network for hours on end
9. pandora
10. mock trial

Friday, December 02, 2005

at first glance, i thought that this was extremely offensive--a college atheist group allowing people to bring religious scriptures in and trade them for pornography. i found it amusing, to be sure, but a bit offensive.

but, then, i stopped and thought...what if it was the other way around? would i find it offensive if a religious group had a stand where people could bring their pornography and trade it for religious books? no. no i wouldn't. really, there's no logic as to why one should be offensive and the other not. i've concluded that it's not logical at all--and frankly stupid--that i found it offensive in the first place. it's all a question of choice...what you get more out of. some people get more out of a religious tract of choice, some people get more out of pornography.

as for me, i'm wary about indoctrination and organized religon and holy texts. i'll take the boobies.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

i was clearing out the junk mail on my hotmail. there was an email in there with the subject line:

"AREYOUBIGENOUGHFrontrowgirl?"

clearly it is a computer that does these things, because any human compiling this spam would have to read it, giggle at the irony, and delete it.

or, i'm assuming it's penis enlargements. maybe it was boob enlargements; not likely, but i decided that idea was rather funny. then i'd probably just have to giggle, send them a picture, and watch them stop sending me ads for boob jobs.

i kill me.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i know i've been a photowhore/linkwhore lately, but this is great. all i have to say is...no asshats allowed!!!

"wasteland"
by 10 years

change my attempt
good intentions

crouched over
you were not there
living in fear
but signs were not really that scarce
obvious tears
and i will not
hide you through this
i want you to help
please see
the bleeding heart perched on my shirt

die
withdraw
hide in cold sweat
quivering lips
ignore remorse
naming a kid
living wasteland
this time you've tried
all that you can turning you red

change my attempt
good intentions
should i
could i
here we are with your obsession
should i
could i

crowned hopeless
the article read living wasteland
this time you've tried
all that you can turning you red
but i will not
hide you through this
i want you to help

change my attempt
good intentions
should i
could i
here we are with your obsession
should i
could i

heave the silver hollow sliver
piercing through another victim
turn and tremble be judgmental
ignorant to all the symbols
blind the face with beauty paste
eventually you'll one day know

change my attempt
good intentions
limbs tied
skin tight
self inflicted his perdition
should i
could i
change my attempt good intentions
should i
could i
Should i
could i
today's a great day in the world of weird news.

first off, we have these dingbats. that's right, dumb game show contestants. if crocodiles were insects that hovered over lakes, or the six days war lasted fourteen days, or bonnie and clyde were famous brothers, these would be some of the smartest people alive...but instead, they have me snickering in torts class.

secondly, we have...this guy. he's a burglar. he's a stupid burglar. he's a stupid burglar who got stuck in the window trying to escape. let's all point and laugh:



ha ha!

finally, we have henry earl. surprisingly enough, he's not in jail today. but, he'll probably be in jail tomorrow or the next day. he's been busted for public drunkenness and similar misdemeanors over nine hundred times in the last thirteen years. there are some...special stories and some special mug shots of this guy. furthermore, there are statistics: how long he's been in jail, how long his average jail stays and free periods are. it's silly. definitely one of the more amusing town drunks i've ever run upon during my days of cruising fark.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

i read the best government resolution ever. it's Idaho's resolution honouring Napoleon Dynamite. it's so unbelievably random. it's priceless! observe:

LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF IDAHO
Fifty-eighth Legislature First Regular Session - 2005
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29
BY WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND COMMENDING JARED AND JERUSHA HESS AND THE CITY OF PRESTON FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE MOVIE "NAPOLEON DYNAMITE."

Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho:

WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of "Napoleon Dynamite"; and

WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth; and

WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and

WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and

WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export; and

WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships; and

WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation; and

WHEREAS, Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-honored Idaho vacation destination; and

WHEREAS, Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, the schoolwide Preston High School student body elections foster an awareness in Idaho's youth of public service and civic duty; and

WHEREAS, the "Happy Hands" club and the requirement that candidates for school president present a skit is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships; and

WHEREAS, Kip's relationship with LaFawnduh is a tribute to e-commerce and Idaho's technology-driven industry; and

WHEREAS, Kip and LaFawnduh's wedding shows Idaho's commitment to healthy marriages; and

WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools; and

WHEREAS, Tina the llama, the chickens with large talons, the 4-H milk cows, and the Honeymoon Stallion showcase Idaho's animal husbandry; and

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of the Fifty-eighth Idaho Legislature, the House of Representatives and the Senate concurring therein, that we commend Jared and Jerusha Hess and the City of Preston for showcasing the positive aspects of Idaho's youth, rural culture, education system, athletics, economic prosperity and diversity.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that we, the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate of the State of Idaho, advocate always following your heart, and thus we eagerly await the next cinematic undertaking of Idaho's Hess family.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Chief Clerk of the House of Representatives be, and she is hereby authorized and directed to forward a copy of this resolution to Jared and Jerusha Hess, the Mayor of the City of Preston and the Principal of Preston High School.

Statement of Purpose / Fiscal Impact

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

RS 15236

The purpose of this resolution is to recognize and commend Jared and Jerusha Hess for their cinematic talents by which they have increased the nation's awareness of Idaho.
there are things that are good. there are things that are awesome. there are things that are shiny. and then, there are things that are so shiny that if you look at them or even think about them for more than a second, you go blind because they are so shiny.

something in the latter category might be about to happen. more later as things develop.

*points to self*
*mock trial nerd*
*yay*

Monday, November 28, 2005

in a case i'm reading, it says that "as a matter of law, the benefits to the parents outweigh their economic loss in rearing and educating a healthy, normal child." (fassoulas v. ramey, 450 so. 2d 822)

this should be true as a matter of law, as the law would become so thorny if parents were allowed to sue for wrongful birth damages for a healthy child.

this should also be true in the minds of people who are having babies...they should believe that all the money it's going to cost them to raise a kid is worth it in what they are going to get out of the experience of raising the child.

as for me...thinking of making the financial sacrifices, much less the sacrifices of time and energy, is enough to make me ill. i can't see anything good about the idea of having someone dependent on me for everything, or at least most things, for at least eighteen years. i don't want to expend the money, the time, or the energy to do that.

i want to sleep at night--every night--without hearing a baby cry, having a toddler shake me awake, worrying that my adolescent is going to stay out all night with shady characters.

i want to come home from work and unwind, read, watch tv, have dinner...at my own pace. i don't want to come home and have to shuttle the kids to soccer practice or go to a parent-teacher conference or make sure their homework is done.

i want to spend my disposable income on books to read, on concerts to see, on trips to see my friends. i don't want to spend it on clothes and food and toys and necessities for children.

maybe this is selfish of me. if it is, i really don't care. the idea of being a mother is not appealing in the least to me. at least i realise this, and i'm not going to be crazy enough to try and deny it, to try and convince myself that it'll be oh-so-different if it's my own kid. it won't be enough for me to sign away two decades of my free time.
has anyone seen the episode of beavis and butt-head where they go on "teen talk" after getting in trouble at school? at the end of the episode, beavis gets all pissed off, stands up in the bleachers, and starts yelling about how he's never going to score, and about how the host is a dork, but he's probably scored?

it reminds me so much of the bus monologue in beavis and butt-head do america.

it's not quite as awesome as the movie monologue, but it's definitely the proto version. it amuses me every time i see it, because of its similarity to the Best Movie Monolougue Ever.
he was not supposed to get my email address, my snail mail address, or any other information of mine. he did. so far, i've had to rip up one letter and delete one email over the course of the last couple weeks. he tried to get in touch this time last year, as well. i can do nothing but ignore him. i have nothing to say to him. my life is better without him being a bad person, without him causing me pain.

although, clearly, he's doing a good enough job causing me pain before i read any of his words.
it's been so long since i've posted that it's going to be one of those entries that hops around all over the place.

--the weekend in kansas was fun. i didn't study one iota, i slept in every morning, and i watched a ton of football. i even went to a football game...saturday morning, chris and i went to the kansas-iowa state game. the first half of it really sucked, the jayhawks were getting killed, but then, somehow, kansas pulled the game to a tie. it went into overtime, the cyclones biffed their field goal, and kansas kicked one to win. it was so much fun...everyone was so excited, and after the game they tore down the goalposts and threw them into the pond behind the stadium. having gone to a division III college, it was definitely a different experience for me...and it was a lot of fun.

--saturday night i played poker. there were some utter morons at my table. there was one woman who took the cake. she was sitting next to chris, and apparently chris had to take ten minutes to explain to this idiot that, in fact, a straight is a legit poker hand--it did not have to be a straight flush. she had been folding her straights all night. furthermore, she was raising and re-raising me on a K Q J 7 K board with J 7. needless to say, i won a huge pot off of her, because i wasn't stupid enough to be in there with a counterfeit two pair--i had K Q for the boat. the first hour and a half or two hours went really well...other than that hand, my cards weren't really all that great, but i was doing a good job knowing when to bet to steal pots with absolutely nothing. the last while i was at the table, though, i wasn't really hitting anything, so i ended up a few dollars down. that was a bummer, since the beginning went so well, but no matter...i was really only down the effect of rake and dealer tips.

--now i'm back in st. louis. finals start next week. i have so much reading to do and so much studying. grumble. i'm going to be a wreck, and there will probably be lots of less-than-happy blog posts about finals over the next three weeks.

--i'm a bad person. i had one class today, and i ditched it. today my plan is to get lots of reading done, although i've been up for an hour and a half, and i haven't read anything. i've organized my friendslist and blog subscriptions on myspace, though...that's productive, right?

--finally, i love this dilbert strip today. people wonder why i'm amoral. as part of my answer, i should point them here, to the second and third panels. there are other reasons i have, which i detailed in an older entry on this blog...but inconsistency of the general concept is another good reason.

Friday, November 25, 2005

i'm reading an article about college clubs about intelligent design. there's a quote from a student at Cornell who founded an intelligent design club, and it's enough to make my head spin:

"In my opinion, both intelligent design and Darwinian evolution are science. Both have philosophical implications."

so, if it has philosophical implications, then it's science? last time i checked, that was not the case. just about anything and everything can have philosophical implications, it's a question of how you frame it and what you see in it. this includes tangible things, scientific things, religious things, social ideas, and everything in between. evolution has philosophical implications. intelligent design has philosophical implications.

but, that does not mean that both are science, in the sense of a way to explain the natural world. according to merriam-webster's dictionary, science is defined as:

"knowledge or a system of knowledge covering general truths or the operation of general laws especially as obtained and tested through scientific method"

nowhere in that is science defined as "that which has philosophical implications." i'd go into a rant about how intelligent design is not science...but i think i went off on that enough yesterday.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

score: KU 1, Kansas Board of Education 0. (or, the university of kansas is going to be teaching a class on intelligent design as a modern american mythology.)

i actually heard about this a couple days ago, and neglected to blog about it. really, i think it's great. i'm really interested in what the reading list will be for the course, and i think it's definitely a public service to go on the academic record drawing a bright line between religion and science. there's a large choir who understands where the line goes, the line between faith and things that are reproducible and explainable by the scientific method, but there are too many people who do not--especially in a state that just approved intelligent design in the science curriculum.

although, i know there's going to be one bad apple in the class who tries to contradict everything the professor tries to say, who's going to try and push intelligent design as real science. i can only hope that the professor is blunt and snarky enough to go toe-to-toe with the bad apple and shoot him down.

am i saying it's an inherently bad thing to believe in intelligent design? no...i'm saying it just doesn't belong in science classrooms. personally...i believe in evolution, and i am convinced it is good science. but, do i think that God had a hand in starting it, or that there is some sort of supernatural reason that things are able to happen the way they are? i sure haven't ruled it out, and i think there's some credence to that. i believe God has an eye on things. but, do i think that that's an appropriate thing to teach in a science class? absolutely not. that's a stick in the bundle of personal faith. i can't prove it. i can't experimentally test it. i can't draw any sort of bona fide link between the facts and theories that scientists can see and test and explain and the constructions of my faith. there is a bright line...i don't think it's inconsistent for a person to believe in both, but there's a line between what should be taught in science class and what should stay in the realm of spirituality. kansas public schools have crossed the line.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

i found this book online, and it profoundly disturbs me.

children's books that clonk you over the head with any particular value system really disturb me. i'm not a fan of indoctrination at an early age. sure, there are certain values that really aren't bothersome, things like hard work and honesty and tolerance of different viewpoints...i'm not railing against children's books that touch on traits that generally help them grow up to be good people. i'm talking about children's books that indoctrinate the child in a certain overarching value system to the exclusion or mockery of others. i'm talking about stuff saying that a certain religion or political system is the best way to go, and all of the others lead the world to hell in a handbasket. it bothers me enough that adults believe in such narrow worldviews, and it offends me when such adults have kids and raise them to have the same tunnel vision.

i'm not surprised that such offensive content is being peddled by worldnetdaily, but i'm offended that such content as this book is being peddled at all. "help! mom! there are liberals under my bed!"? sure, that's useful in trying to raise a conservative child, but it's helpful in raising a conservative child along the lines of another ann coulter...full of rhetoric and hatred, and devoid of any substance other than the repeated assertion that liberals are analogous to monsters.

how would worldnetdaily react if an extremely slanted liberal "news" site sold "help! mom! there are conservatives in my closet!"? i know what they would do. they'd write some article complaining about the liberal media bias and the breakdown of america's moral fabric.

hypocrites.
asshattery advancing.

stand firm, troops.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

so, today's my birthday. one year older, twenty-three, blah blah blah.

i was walking around today, and i came to a strange realisation. when it comes to day-to-day, mundane stuff, i'm absolutely moronic. i can't manage my time, i can't keep a dollar in my pocket to save my life, and i'm a lazy, lazy bum.

but, when it comes to the big decisions in life, i suck a lot less...i look back, and i can't say i majorly dropped the ball on any of them. i picked the right college. i picked the right law school. i haven't stayed in relationships that i had no business staying in. i've surrounded myself with awesome friends.

i have a lot to feel good about.

in...less weighty matters, i had a nice day today. i went out with hilary for lunch at the macaroni grill, and then we cruised around the mall. that was a lot of fun; i hadn't done mall-cruising in a long time. it was a blast...and i bought two things, both of which were on sale. hilary and i got Awesome Matching Goth Skirts. they're short, they're lacy, and they're black and purple. i also got genus 6 of trivial pursuit...because trivial pursuit rules, and trivial pursuit for 50% off rules even more.

this evening i went to the bi alliance social out on the loop. we hung around and chatted at st. louis bread co. for a while...it was nice; i hadn't been able to make it out for any of their social events yet, so i met lots of new people. most of the people there then were going to the tivoli for a movie, so i decided to go as well. we saw transamerica, a movie about an mtf transgender person who found out right before her gender reassignment surgery that she had a son. it was a really fascinating movie, and there was a question/answer session with the director afterward. after the movie...i was tired, so i went home. everyone else stayed for a second movie, but i have a hard enough time sitting through one movie, much less two, even if they're good.

now, i'm home, and i'm being lazy. i'm watching millionaire. i watch so much millionaire.
(story tipped off from eric's blog.)

apparently, some woman was so frustrated about the curriculum at the u of c that she started setting little fires in buildings. she was stressed out that her degree had not translated into a job, and she thought she worked too hard at the school.

yes. it's the u of c. of course you work hard at the u of c. if you are setting things on fire because you thought you worked too hard at the u of c, you were clearly not meant to have gone to the u of c.

Friday, November 18, 2005

i'm a boring human being. i didn't do anything of note today, really...i went to my classes, went to happy hour (didn't get to do trivia, all the spots were full...), went to delmar loop, and went home.

i got hit on really sketchily on the loop. i was on the way back to WU from the loop to catch a shuttle home. some guy, probably ten or fifteen years older than me, walks up to me when i'm waiting at the light in fron of cicero's. he starts talking to me as if he's going to ask me for directions. that's fine. then, he's like..."you should come to dinner with me. i'm from out of the country. you're american, right? it would be a cultural experience."

that's creative. ::pukegagvomit::

negative bonus points for, when he asked me if i was from here and i replied, "no, i grew up in NC", that he went off about Billy Graham.

really, i think that's the strangest attempt at flirtation that anyone's made with me since mister Cheese Is How You Get Laid In The Real World, back in September of 2003.

otherwise...more memerifficness before i finally curl up and pass out.

1)Where did you graduate from and what year?
millbrook high, raleigh, nc, 2000

2)Did you have school pride?
i was a special case...i hated it there, but i had nothing else to do, so i was the mascot and was on the school spirit committee. school pride was less something i felt and more something i did.

3)Was your Prom a night to remember?
it was a night to remember, if by "remember" you mean "it sucked."

4)What was your fav. song you danced to the night of PROM?
ask me if i remember any of the songs they played at prom.

5)Do you own all 4 Yearbooks ?
of course...

6)Do you remember the First CD you ever bought?
"fairweather johnson" by hootie and the blowfish. (yeah, i suck that much.)

7)What was your fav. movie in high school?
schindler's list

8)What was your number one choice college?
i didn't have a bloody idea until i was a senior in high school...then i was torn between chicago and mit, agonized over it for months after getting in both places, and finally, thankfully, picked chicago.

9)What radio station did you jam out to in high school?
96 rock.

10)Were you involved in any organizations or clubs?
chorus, octet (my senior year), drama (costume crew), student government (class council my freshman year, executive board the other three years)

11)What was your fav class in high school?
chorus and physics. (yes, i know, totally unrelated...but they were both so much fun!)

12)Who was your big crush in high school?
wouldn't you like to know. :)

13)Would you say you have changed a lot since high school?
in a lot of ways i'm the same person...but i'm a lot more confident about myself, and i'm a lot more open about the fact that i'm nuttier than a fruitcake.

14) What do you miss the most about it?
i really don't miss jack about high school.

15)Your worst memory of HS?
really, almost everything. but, if i had to pick one particular memory...hands-down, senior prom. All Sorts Of Depressing. i'll spare the details, since anyone who is reading this has probably heard me bitch about all the gory details of why it was so horrible.

16)Did you have a car?
last semester, i had a 1985 chevy celebrity

17)What were your school colors ?
blue and white

18)Who was your fav. teacher?
either mrs. marley or mr. prim

19)Did you own a cell phone in highschool?
no freaking way. i didn't get one until summer before my last year of college.

20)Did you leave campus for lunch?
i had a pass both junior and senior year, but i think between the two years i left campus a whole three times

21)If so, where was your fav. place to go eat?
ummm...the cafeteria, where i ate the sack lunches i brought from home?

22)Were you always late to class?
never, unless i was caught up at my locker which was invariably all the way back at the auto shop

23) you ever have to stay for Sat. School? (or detention)
never

24)Did you ever Ditch?
never...i didn't get into ditching until i started college.

25) When it comes time for the reunion will you be there?
i have a huge sense of car crash fascination about many things. my high school reunion is one of them. of course i will go. it's the only reason i'll be caught dead in north carolina ever again.
this is a curious little game.

Guess that Friend

i am proud of myself. i did it, and got all but one of them correct. the one i got wrong, i really don't think should count, since it was the "if your eyes pass over this entry, say something about me" meme...which a TON of my friends posted. i picked one of my friends who had done it, on the multiple choice, and apparently the quiz culled it from someone else's journal.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

so, the prize for Most Naive Person Ever goes to...drumroll please...

Cardinal William Keeler, co-chair of the Religious Alliance Against Pornography!!

::applause::

he gets this distinguished award for part of the warning he gave to parents about giving their children wireless devices such as iPods, cell phones, and PDAs. he warned that they could be used to download pornography. none of this is why he is so naive.

he proceeded to make the stunning observation:

"Sadly, unwanted pornography often leads to wanted pornography."

UNWANTED pornography??? who has ever heard of such a thing!!! clearly, i need to sit Cardinal Keeler down and explain to him a little thing called curiosity. adolescents are curious about lots of things. generally, the top item, or almost the top item, on any adolescent's list of things about which they are curious is sex. there is nothing unwanted at all about teenagers realising, "hey, i can use this thing to look at boobies/cocks/et cetera!"

sure, looking at some pornography may lead to looking at more pornography. i think it's a pretty common sentiment: looking at naked people is fun! many people learn this when they log onto the internet and look at pornography for the first time.

in short, i find it silly for him to think that he thinks the problem starts with accidental viewing of "unwanted pornography." if a teenager, or someone else, for that matter, wants to look at porn, they will search it out. they don't need to stumble upon it. if they do not want to look at porn, they will steer clear.

it is completely within Cardinal Keeler's rights to believe that pornography is some kind of evil, some kind of thing against God. i happen not to agree. but, if he wants to garner support and get more backing for his movement, it would behoove him to not make such blatant displays of naivete.
i heart snarky advice, and Amy Dickinson's column today provided me with some amusement in the form of snarky advice.

a woman wrote in, discussing how her boyfriend is repeatedly cheating on her. she asks Amy:

" He vowed to be faithful if I would give him one more chance, so I let him come back.
Well, it's been six months and I believe that he is up to his old tricks. I see the signs and I have a strong instinct that he is cheating again.
Should I pray that he will keep his word or should I go ahead and kick him permanently to the curb before he breaks my heart again?"

Amy replies:

"I vote for praying.
And because this is a full-service advice column, I'll even supply the prayer.
"Lord, give me the strength to kick Steve permanently to the curb and give me the will to resist him now and forevermore."
Amen, sister."

that amused me. a lot.

not to mention, it's dead correct advice.
in the "notes and questions" section of my property textbook, it keeps asking "do you see why?" after discussing propositions in other note cases and articles.

does anyone else find this funny, or am i the only one here who abides by the gospel of one David Sklansky?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

today, i was the board-certified Worst Student Ever.

i ditched all my classes to try and write this memo that is due, at least in almost-complete draft form, tomorrow (or, i guess, today) at 10. i got so little done on it that it wasn't even funny. i had seven pages by the time i went to trial team practice at 6 today.

trial team lasted until almost midnight. i wasn't home from steak n shake after practice until 1:30, almost.

now, i am going to be up all night, or at least almost all night, and not be prepared for any of my classes. plus, i am going to be very tired all day tomorrow. oops.

still, very amusing thing said at trial team today. when the meeting was breaking up, the judge had everyone gather around for a prayer. he said something to the effect of how the trial team should carry jesus with them to the tournament. one very sarcastic member of the trial team replied, "sorry, we're running out of space in our carry-ons." that amused me a lot...everyone laughed hysterically at that one.

the other great story from the day... so, my birthday is saturday. since my boyfriend will be out of town on the trial team trip, he gave me birthday presents today. he decided, instead of wrapping them, to hide them in my apartment. i swear, that boy is the master of hiding things in plain view. it took me a while to find the present that was hidden in an obvious place...i had scoured the living room many times, looked all around the tv and the dvds...and not noticed at all that he had hidden the 3 dvds in the beavis and butt-head dvd set among my roommate's dvds. slick.

the other present he hid was even better hidden. i was looking all over the place, and still couldn't find it. finally, after twenty or thirty minutes of frantic searching, he had some mercy on me and decided to play hot or cold, as i requested. he kept saying "hot" in a certain part of my room. i picked up a storm of swords, a book that i knew had been in my room since forever, and put it aside, saying that i knew it wasn't it. finally, i kept searching, playing hot or cold, and said, in exasperation, "hot always seems to be near this book!" i pick up a storm of swords again...flip through it, only to realise that under the dust jacket, he had replaced that book with a feast for crows...the new george r.r. martin book, and my other birthday present.

clever clever clever boy.

Monday, November 14, 2005

last night, i was at a birthday party for my boyfriend's cousin. most of the people there were adults, but there were a few kids. one of the kids was playing with this sesame street toy. you pushed a button, and a character would pop out, singing its signature song.

oscar the grouch was on there, and he was singing "i love trash." i hadn't heard that song since i was a little kid.

i thought that was absolutely hilarious.

i'm surprised i didn't scare his entire extended family, as hard as i laughed when i heard that toy.


(and now, some lyrics, just because.)

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash

i have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn
it's all full of holes and the laces are torn
a gift from my mother the day i was born
i love it because it's trash

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash


i have here some newspaper thirteen months old
i wrapped fish inside it
it's smelly and cold
but i wouldn't trade it for a big pot of gold
i love it because it's trash

oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love trash

i've a clock that won't work
and an old telephone
a broken umbrella
a rusty trombone
and i am delighted to call them my own
i love them because they're trash
oh i love trash
anything dirty or dingy or dusty
anything ragged or rotten or rusty
yes i love
i love
i love trash

Sunday, November 13, 2005

i had the best intentions last night. i was going to get up, be at school by ten, and then work all day. that definitely did not happen. i woke up early enough, and then i decided that it was too early for me to get going. so, i turned off the alarm, rolled over, and went back to bed.

bad move. i had this really long, involved dream about getting kidnapped and being forced to colour within the lines, and i finally woke up when i was still locked in the castle, hiding in the restroom, waiting for my kidnapper to disappear so i could call for help (i still had my phone, for some reason.) my eyes opened, i looked at the clock...and it was almost 12:30. oops.

let's just say...thank goodness that my memo draft is not due until wednesday. thank goodness the only thing i have to do tomorrow is go to torts class, and i have the rest of the day to work.

last night i was productive, but in a very non-school-like kind of way. i went through more of my cds and ripped them to my itunes. i'm now over a thousand songs on my computer. this makes me happy. i dug up some random songs, samplers, mix cds that i had forgotten i had, or at least feared i had lost along the way. i still don't have all my music on my computer yet, but i've got a lot of it now. the only hitch in the operation was...apparently my copy of "i've suffered a head injury" by the verve pipe got scratched up so that the first and last songs will not rip. the rest of them are good...but really, it's a major loss not to have "ark of the envious" or "martyr material" on my computer. that needs to be fixed, somehow. those are some good songs.

the thing i was most excited about finding was my old mix cd from the summer after my first year of college. it had a bunch of random stuff that i had downloaded that some guy on my hallway who had a cd burner burned for me. i had some really random stuff on there..."for the movies" by buckcherry, "flagpole sitta" by harvey danger, "stay awake" by dishwalla...and it also had "alone" by angie aparo, a song he had posted for download online but never put on an album. i thought i had lost the ability to listen to that one forever.

speaking of itunes, i am way too fascinated by the play count feature. i love looking at the "most played songs" screen and seeing what songs are in my top 25. sometimes i look at it and go, "i've listened to that song that much? wow. anyway, for no good reason, these are my top 25 most played songs over the last several months...since late august, when i got this computer.

1. "first day of my life" by the rasmus
2. "can't talk to you" by krim
3. "when the lights go out" by lazyeye
4. "paper wings" by rise against
5. "garden" by 39 reasons
6. "get over" by the marvelous 3
7. "give it all" by rise against
8. "analogue" by spirit creek
9. "control" by threequartersmile
10. "what you gave here wasn't fear" by grundig
11. "gold dust vs. state of illinois" by spitalfield
12. "answer" by star crash speedway
13. "it's over" by ditchwater
14. "mr. walker" by gemie
15. "confessional" by second coming
16. "the nurse with amnesia" by shades of fiction
17. "send in the clowns" by cold
18. "complicated questions" by finger eleven
19. "radio tokyo" by the marvelous 3
20. "funeral song" by the rasmus
21. "thicker" by the blank theory
22. "last call" by eve to adam
23. "killer inside" by krim
24. "cling and clatter" by lifehouse
25. "in the shadows" by the rasmus

i'm curious...any of you guys out there with itunes, what's your top 25?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

tobey torres is not the lead singer of snake river conspiracy anymore.

that is sad.

she was a good singer.

she's also really hot.

Friday, November 11, 2005

i don't have one unitary post this morning, but rather a bunch of little observations, episodes, and aphorisms i've picked up over the last twenty-four hours or so.

1. last night was all sorts of mock trial nerdity. practice started around six...or, i guess, the trial team met at six and the trial didn't start until 6:45 or seven. no one else came as a witness but me...so the team members practiced their witnesses on direct (the way it works is there are two attorneys per side, who play the witnesses on the other side), but to throw people curves, the judge made me do every single witness on cross. that was fun. it was especially fun throwing the boy some curves...he crosses the expert, and i came up with lots of interpretations and inventions. on some of them he could tie me down to his original point, but on some of them he just had to move on. it was amusing playing four different characters in a night, and getting crossed again. anyway...the trial went on until 11:30, since there were some commments and edits at points during the trial. then, the judge gave comments until 1:30 am. i wouldn't have put it past him to run practice until 11:30 or midnight, but i don't think i'd have given him credit for running one until 1:30 until i saw it with my own two eyes. still, the trial team found the comments helpful, i found them interesting to listen to, so it was worth being at school that late.

2. skeeves suck. asshats suck. skeevy asshats really suck.

3. mock trial regionals are out. the thing they're doing in greenville, with two concurrent regionals with different and balanced fields, is pure genius. they should adopt that elsewhere, or at least the idea of balancing regions in a locality as best as they can. they should do this in the midwest, since it's...a bit out of whack. you've got the south bend regional, which really only has one team: notre dame. you've got milwaukee, which is a pretty top heavy regional, but it's going to be a bear getting a gold bid out of there with chicago, uw-madison, northwestern, and marquette all fighting it out at the top. the imbalance between south bend and milwaukee is rather confusing; it makes no sense that they didn't ship the UC or NW squads over there.

and two less-than-overpowering regionals in pennsylvania? that's odd. there's gettysburg, pennsylvania...where it looks as though we should hand lots of shiny things to UVa, stat. (although, to be fair, shipping UVa makes baltimore a smidge less of a bloodbath than DC was last year...because DC was a bloodbath last year.) and then, there's indiana, pennsylvania...where it looks like michigan and penn state get to divide up the spoils.

then, there are just some geographic oddities. iowa to joliet? weber state to miami, ohio? slu to columbia, but cmsu to st. louis? has anyone looked at these things called "maps"? sometimes they are useful.

4. i was a bad person. i ditched legal writing today. i thought it was the least i could do for being up for trial so late...it was nice to get the extra hour of sleep. besides, i have a late class today...i have property from 3pm-5pm. this is annoying, as happy hour starts at 4. i like happy hour lots more than property class.

5. Cheez Us walked on water. Actually, it was the sidewalk...but damn, that was some good crack! (smoking crack makes everything funnier.)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

well, callbacks for the vagina monologues were posted this morning. i thought my audition last night went well, but i didn't even get a callback. i'm disappointed. guess it wasn't good enough.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

my audition for the vagina monologues is tonight at 7:35. i hope i make it...it would be a blast to do a play again, for the first time since i was seventeen...and it would be really amusing to be on stage talking to people about vaginae. :)
the kansas school board has officially adopted intelligent design. grrrrr...

but, the foof has made a really awesome comic about it. here's hoping God finds it and gets ideas.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

this is amusing...apparently, according to the formula used to calculate how much the blogs involved in the aol/weblogs, inc. deal were worth, my little blog is worth some cash...

don't worry, i'm not selling out...i have school loans. there's no need to whore off my little corner of the web-o-sphere yet.


My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?

"you're welcome to give me other criticisms, such as 'don't spend class time apologizing.' that would, of course, lead me to spending class time apologizing for that."
--Professor Gunn

did i ever mention that he's awesome?

Monday, November 07, 2005

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

i expressly told my mother not to give my contact information to my father.

today, my mother told me on the phone that she gave my brother my information and asked him to give it to my father, and that he's "trying to get in touch with me."

she was also asking me to call him, email him, send him a letter, anything.

i still have no desire to talk to him or associate with him ever again. i now am extremely angry at her for trying to pass my contact information along to him.

this also means i'm going to be on edge whenever my phone rings, and have to stay extra diligent about looking at who's calling, and passing unknown numbers (i have a phone number for him, but i don't know if it's still current or not...) along to my voice mail.

i don't need this.
this weekend has been pretty lazy... it's been nice, but i am still envious of every single one of you who got to spend this weekend at a mock trial tournament, be it macalester or kansas. you all rock...and i am hopelessly addicted to mock trial.

as for me...friday was party night. went to happy hour, found out about some guy who was throwing a house party, went there. talked to lots of people, played quarters for the first time ever, realised that i really, really suck at quarters. i should not play drinking games, ever. i suck at drinking games. walked home from said party...i'm getting really good at making very long walks through st. louis, u-city, and clayton, at getting home from random parties with my own two feet. they're a little longer than the walks home that i was used to in chicago, but there also aren't crack dealers. yay for that.

yesterday i spent the morning watching bad game shows. then, i went over to hilary's to watch evita. i had never seen it before...it was really good, and madonna makes a surprisingly awesome eva peron. then, the evening i spent hanging around home with the boy, watching football or poker or whatever was on, and doing a lot of nothing.

today, i slept in. i did not leave bed until almost noon. i watched a little bad tv (jeopardy, love connection...i guess it wasn't THAT bad), and then went to school. i intended to be productive when i got to school, but i haven't been, so far. i got to school, and decided to drop into mallinckrodt (the student union, where the shuttle dropped me off) to post the macalester results to perjuries.

in there, i saw a sign for some upcoming auditions for a campus performance of the vagina monologues. i'm going to go ahead and try out...my audition is wednesday evening at 7:35. i say it's worth a shot...i haven't acted in way too long, and i really, really, really need some sort of non-law-school-related involvement. if i make this play, that will be a really nice change of pace...and i'll get to perform. i love performing.

now, i'm finally at the law school. i've printed out some cases for my open memo, but i'm not going to go through that stuff until tomorrow. tomorrow, i only have 1 class, from 9-10 in the morning, and then nothing else to do on campus but homework. since i'm staying until chris gets out of class at 7:30, that should leave me lots of time to do lots of reading, work, and other assorted productive things.

well, guess i should go and actually read my torts. the sooner i get that done, the sooner i can go be really unproductive again...that, or start working on my audition monologue. i haven't decided yet if i'm going to use one of the three in the audition packet, or do my own. they said you cand do one of your own, if you want...and i have a great idea for one.

Friday, November 04, 2005

i found this article online. apparently, people are complaining about the fact that parts of downtown chicago smell like chocolate.

this makes me really sad. it's one of the coolest things about downtown chicago...something that always brought a smile to my face when i walked around. what other cities have vast swaths of the main commercial district that smell like chocolate? i can't think of one. i don't mind the EPA busting the plant for dust, and i'm all for stopping the plant from releasing more dust into the air. but, i can't believe people are complaining about the chocolate. it's a bit of whimsy in the midst of the city.

they don't deserve a lawsuit for the yummy chocolate scent. they deserve a medal.
today i had a federal judge compare me to Aileen Wuornos.

i was playing officer juarez in the mock trial today...that was the corrupt cop. i was a hostile witness for the plaintiff. i was being a hard-nosed jerk, not particularly talkative at all, and unapologetic for what i did. (it's a legal malpractice case...the plaintiff is suing the defense attorney from her assault trial, and i played the cop who planted the gun and claimed she assaulted me.) anyway, i finish my testimony, the coaches go over the attorneys' comments, and then the head coach goes:

"has anyone seen monster, that movie with charlize theron? you were the main character from that movie, the serial killer!"

that amused me way too much. i thought i was being menacing, i had no idea i came off as that menacing. then again, he had never seen me before as anything but bubbly and enthusiastic.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

shiny: over the last two weeks, i've gone in and watched a few trials with the law school trial team.

shinier: i get to play a witness tonight.

shiniest: he's a cop. he's a corrupt cop. he's a corrupt cop who gets to enter lots of evidence and frame facts in fun ways. i have seen the cross of this cop before, and i'm going to get to throw the crossing attorney for a loop...or two...or ten.

man, it's going to be awesome being back on a witness stand tonight.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

i should be reading. i'm doing an internet survey. go figure.

1. Spell your first name backwards: ellocin
2. Story behind your name: my parents wanted something that sounded vaguely french
3. How old are you: 22
4. Where do you live: clayton, missouri...it's just outside of st. louis


DESCRIBE YOUR:

5. cell phone: boring and old. it's grey in a black cell phone caddy. it's a nokia...not a lot of features, but it works
6.wallet: ummm...shove my money and cards into my pants pocket every morning?
7. Toothbrush: crest spinbrush
8. Jewelry worn daily: jewelry? me? Stop Smoking Crack! i hate jewelry.
9. Morning routine: get up, be really envious of the boy because he gets to stay in bed, shower, get dressed, get to the bus stop
10. Pillow cover right now: black
13. Sunglasses: i look like a moron in sunglasses, and have not worn them in years
14. Favorite shirt: my inept shirt...it's oldschool :)
15. Cologne/Perfume: i like chanel no. 5...but i haven't actually worn perfume or cologne in years
16. CD in stereo right now: ummm...my stereo busted when i mailed it here from chicago, so nothing. :( i just listen to music on my computer.
18. What you are wearing now: jeans, a U of C O-Aide shirt from 2003, socks
19. Wishing: i could either sleep or force myself to read
20. Wanting: my boyfriend to get over here
21. After this: doing my reading for tomorrow
22. If you could get away with it and murder anyone: i know exactly who i would kill. if you know me well enough, you know who that would be.
23. Person you wish you could see right now: chris
24. Some of your favorite movies: beavis and butt-head do america, the big lebowski
25. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: saturday, when i can sleep in
26. The last thing you ate: a turkey sandwich
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: dying
28. Do you like candles: i like how they smell, but i don't keep them around because i'm too absentminded to remember to blow them out
29. Do you like incense: i like it, but don't actually seek it out or keep it around.
30. Do you like the taste of blood: yeah. i'm weird.
31. Do you believe in love: yes
32. Do you believe in soul mates: no...the idea of soul mates is tied too deeply into that whole, misleading idea that people are suited to be with just one person, forever. it's crap.
33. Do you believe in love at first sight: no...i believe in really, really wanting to get it on with someone at first sight, but that's really about it
34. Do you believe in Heaven: no
35. Do you believe in God: yes
36. What do you want done with your body when you die: donate my organs and bury the rest
37. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be: i want a dog when i'm older, although i know i don't have the time or energy to have a dog now
38. What is the longest you've ever stayed up: about 40 hours
39. Can you eat with chopsticks: indeed...i learned really fast, given the proliferation of thai restaurants in hyde park. (yes, i know, the thais don't actually eat with chopsticks, but the restaurants all had them, and it was fun to learn)
40. What's your favorite coin: sacagawea dollars. they're amusing, and not commonly enough used. it's really shiny...if you use the metrolink here, they give you your change in sacagawea dollars.
41. What are some of your favorite candies: dark chocolate anything...special dark, godiva truffles...
42. What's something that you wish people would understand about you: everyone knows i'm extremely weird...but people need to know that i can't actually hide it. it's impossible. i've tried and i've failed--so i've given up on even pretending at normalcy. if you know this, you're going to get along with me a lot better
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: contract law (this semester...lol)
44. Who is someone that you really wish was still around: all my friends in chicago

RELATIONSHIPS:

45. Who are your best friends: you know who you are
46. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
47. Longest relationship: about a year and a half (i.e., my current one)
48. How many actual relationships have you been in: 2
49. How many people have you kissed: ummmm...25? 30? something like that?
51. Still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with: nope. i'm brutally efficient at moving on.
52. Do you know what it feels like to be in love: indeed
53. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends: absolutely

FASHION STUFF:

54. Where is your favorite place to shop: disgraceland, back in chicago
55. Have any tattoos: no...sometimes it makes me feel empty that i can't think of anything that i'd want put on my body for the rest of my life, but i'm indecisive like that
56. What is your favorite thing to wear: a black vinyl dress. (i have two now...wheeee!)
57. What is a must have accessory: i don't do accessories.
58. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing: $140 on a dress, a few years ago
60. Who is the least fashionable person you know: yours truly
61. Do you match your belt with your hair color: ummm...i own one black belt...that's it...and my hair hasn't been black since summer of '04
62. What is the worst thing you've ever thought looked good: i had perms when i was a kid. ew.
64. How many pairs of shoes do you own: seven
65. What is the worst trend you see today: fundamentalism

RANDOM:

1. Do you do drugs: no, unless you count the booze as a drug
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: suave
4. What are you listening to right now: family feud on tv
5. Who was the last person that called: some dillweed who tried to send me a fax on my cellphone number
6. Where do you want to get married: married? me? maybe when pigs fly.
7. How many buddies are online right now: 40
8. What would you change about yourself: i need to be less of an airhead
9. What are essentials in your life: sleep, coffee, my friends
12. Do you send out holiday cards each year: no. i hate holidays.

CURRENT:

1. Hair: short, but getting a little too long. starting to touch my ears. that's a problem.
2. make-up: none
3. music: ummm...i had breaking benjamin ringing in my head at school today
4. mood: lethargic
so, i got my memo back today, the one that i turned in a few weeks ago, the first one that was actually curved and graded.

frankly, i'm disappointed. i probably shouldn't be, but i'm disappointed. i made a couple of moronic, moronic mistakes in it, and i should have done a lot better than i did.

i suck. if i don't do better on my open memo, i'll never forgive myself.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

i had all these intentions of going to bed...but, i've been playing with openoffice. i can edit all of my word files that i couldn't edit this morning...and it's not a microsoft program! it's rather shiny, if i may say so myself.

abby...you rock for the recommendation.

Monday, October 31, 2005

HARRY HOUDINI: PERHAPS THE ONLY CONJURER IN THE WORLD WHO STRIPS STARK NAKED!

(i was watching the history channel special about Harry Houdini. they showed a newspaper clipping about a show he was doing. yes, this was the heading.)
this seems to be going around like wildfire.

although, i take issue to the lumping together of "friends" and "family." i think they're two completely different spheres.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
6.2
Mind:
7.6
Body:
5.7
Spirit:
5
Friends/Family:
4
Love:
7.7
Finance:
4.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
i've been delinquent in blogginating the countryside these last couple days...thanks to a handy dandy thing we call the research log. at least, that's why i was not blogging yesterday. i swore i was going to work on saturday...but i walked to school, got nothing done, and ended up going home and sleeping all afternoon/evening. i like sleeping.

i am so glad that thing is done. it's twenty pages of "i looked at this book, here's why i looked at this book, and here's what i found in this book! yay!" it's drivel, and i don't know of another law school that forces students to do a log like this in such excruciating detail. at least it's done. i can't guarantee how good my grade on it will be, but at least it's out of my hands.

today sucks. today sucks because my "trial" on my microsoft word has run out, so i can't edit any of my old word files or make any new ones. i am stuck using works until i get a copy of word. this will probably be a while, because word is expensive. word is very expensive. works sucks a lot, but it's also not going to suck at my bank account.

the weekend until sunday was actually very good. friday night was the halloween party. it was really awesome...before the party was happy hour, and everyone showed up there in their halloween costumes. i showed up in my shiny dominatrix cop outfit...which was completely awesome, all the "wtf, i can't believe you did that!" reactions i got for it. that was exactly what i was going for. :)

there were some really awesome costumes that people had. the costume i thought was the most hilarious...some guy, i don't even know who it was, dressed as matthew lesko, that guy who advertises all those "free money" books on tv. i saw him in the courtyard, and i think i started squeaking. i'm sure he thought i was on crack, but he was impressed that i knew he was matthew lesko...and didn't mistake him for the riddler.

the party itself was fun, although rather crowded... we went there on school buses which amused me a lot. man, school bus rides would have been a lot more fun back in the day if i could have a tall, cold beer with me on the bus like i did on friday night. :) it would have made high school so much more tolerable. i wasn't at the party very long, i know we left before 11pm and just metrolinked it back to delmar...

anyway...i don't have any particularly scandalous stories from the party. i didn't cause any trouble, i didn't go home with any strange people (well, the guy i went home with is a weird one, but we knew that already, and that's why i love him!), and the strangest thing that happened were lots of dominatrix jokes, and a few requests for domination that i denied in a rather evil-tease manner... i really need to find more excuses to go out dressed like that. ::halo::