it's still no better. i still have nothing written but a page of cutesie, introductory anecdote filler. my face isn't streaked with tears anymore, but that's because i've been willing myself not to cry--and now my head hurts a little from choking back the tears, and my throat too. i need to write this thing, i need to snap myself out of this funk, but nothing works. i don't even have anything new to say in condemnation of myself, i still just feel like an unqualified fraud.