Thursday, October 14, 2004

i generally have a no-silly-surveys policy in this blog, but i'm soooooooooooo bored right now. this one looked fun, i found it on a completely random blog.

1) What's your favorite Girl Scout Cookie?
yummm, tagalongs. the peanut butter and chocolate ones. they're so good. i haven't had them since high school, when one of my friends stayed in girl scouts all the way through high school. i would buy them from her; i looked forward to the once a year i could buy them. i'd get a box or two, and then i would stash them in my top drawer so no one would take them. problem was, sometimes my siblings would break into my drawer, dig under all of my clean underwear, and steal my cookies anyway. ugh.

2) Do you prefer small town life or big city life?
big city, of course. there's just so much more to do in a big city...i need to be around all the people, the whole music scene, the proliferation of places to shop and drink and amuse myself and just occupy space. i've never lived in a true small town, but i grew up in raleigh, north carolina...a "city" (read: sprawling suburb of nothing) of 280,000 people, and there still wasn't enough there for me.

3) The Cure's "Boys don't cry" or "Just like Heaven"?
i don't know, i don't listen to the cure. i don't like the cure very much. but, as for a title, i think i like the title "boys don't cry" better. no reason, maybe it's just that i'm not feeling so heavenly today.

4) Violent femmes or Sex Pistols?
sex pistols, of course. the violent femmes get on my nerves, they're quirky but not my kind of quirky. the sex pistols are bloody, dirty, and british...three things that i really can't find fault with. plus, they're punk rock, and punk rock is a lot of fun.

5) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Pieces?
i love them both, but if i have to pick one, i'd pick reese's peanut butter cups. i think the peanut butter in the cups tastes better. what's actually even better are the holiday permutations of peanut butter cups that come out during the holidays: eggs, trees, i think they have pumpkins or ghosts for halloween, even. they're overgrown peanut butter cups, with lots of the yummy peanut butter inside. regular peanut butter just never tastes as good as whatever they use inside the reese's cups...i really wish they sold the filling in jars so i could buy it.

6) Morning sex or drunk sex?
i prefer morning sex. i actually don't like either a whole heck of a lot. morning, sometimes, if i'm not feeling that groggy...usually i need a little while to wake up before doing anything naughty. drunk sex is generally unpleasant for me...even though being drunk makes me more flirtatious, it kills my mood for anything more than making out.

7) Britney or Christina?
if i have to choose, i'd choose christina aguilera. i don't like either of them...but christina aguilera's a better singer, and some of her really strange outfits are lots of fun. also, she hasn't made a mockery of marriage yet. it was rather funny, speaking of britney spears and marriage, i was reading an article on yahoo yesterday, and britney said that she wants to change her name to britney federline, but society wouldn't allow her to. that's rather silly, it's still perfectly acceptable to change your name. sure, her fans would probably keep calling her britney spears, but that's not the same thing as society condemning her choice. that made me mad to read.

8) Where were you born?
i was born at the seventh-day adventist hospital in kettering, ohio. i lived in ohio (dayton, to be exact) for two years. i don't remember it there at all.

9) Pirates or zombies?
pirates. pirates amuse me. pirates also remind me of a funny, silly private message my boyfriend sent me on perjuries, for no particular reason.

10) Hardcore or emo?
i like them both, but i listen to more emo, so i'll go with that one. hardcore is pretty hit-or-miss with me, it's hard to describe which hardcore i like and which hardcore i don't like beyond anything but "i listened to it and liked it" or "i listened to it and wanted to smash the stereo in with a cinder block". emo, however...most of it is perfect for a sullen, whiny bitch like me.

11) Dodge ball or red light greenlight?
dodgeball, because i always enjoyed throwing the ball at people. by all logic, i should hate dodgeball...i was definitely the fat, unathletic, unpopular kid who everyone liked to pelt with dodgeballs. it sucked a little, but i didn't care all that much since it was part of the game. but, sometimes my aim wasn't so bad, and i hit people. whenever i did that, i felt extremely proud of myself.

12) Did you get spanked when you were a kid?
i got spanked a few times when i misbehaved. the only time i remember was the one time i got whupped with a belt. i was in third grade, and i had learned the word "twit" at school, as one of my cursive-writing practice words. later that year, i was trying to convince my mother to let me do the after-school program at school instead of coming straight home. my mother said no, and my mother seemed extremely offended that i wanted to do it, that i was pushing so hard to do it. in the course of the argument, i proceeded to call my mother a twit. she left the room, came back with one of my father's belts, and beat me with it, telling me never to call her that again, and that i wouldn't get to do the after-school program. i don't recall how many times she hit me with it, it was at least eight or ten. i never called her a twit again...but i still wanted to go to after-school care.

13) Do you get spanked now (sexually)?
i'm not answering this, for two reasons. first of all, the easy one to explain...most of you who read this know me, and see me every day or so, and therefore any answer to this would be too much information--something you would not want to know about me. second of all, it's good to use a little discretion about my sexual habits and proclivities anyway.
it's kind of funny, i really don't care about what people know about casual sexual encounters with people that don't mean anything to me. if someone prods me for details about those, i will more than likely give them. it may be tmi, but if they ask, whatever...it's no skin off my back. the friend/acquaintance will probably never meet that particular partner, and the act itself was meaningless fun...as if the person and i were using each other as human sex toys. but, as for telling people what i do or don't do with someone that means a lot to me...that's a no-no, out of respect for my significant other and the relationship. there should be secrets, and sexual behaviour and proclivities are among them.

14) Do you like it?
i think my previous answer covers this one rather well, too.

15) Where do you hope to be in 5 years?
practicing law in a large midwestern city. i can't really say any more than that...i hope it's some sort of trial advocacy. in a perfect world, it would be public defense or public interest litigation, but i seriously doubt that such a job will pay off my law school loans. thus, i'll probably have to spend the beginning of my career whoring myself off in a law firm until i can pay the bills off, and then move to another, more conscionable job after i've paid off the bill collectors and made a name for myself in the field.

16) Do you believe in love?
this is a strangely phrased question, "believe" in love? do i think it exists, do i think i have the capacity to feel something i call "love"? yes, yes i do. but, love means different things to just about anyone. love encompasses strong feelings, manifested in different ways...and saying whether or not you "believe" in it is the same thing as believing in hate, or rage, or psychological addiction.

17) Do you believe in witchcraft?
it's not my chosen path to God, no. still, like any religion, i believe it can hold power for the people who believe in it.

18) Explain a holiday memory:
one christmas (i do not remember which one it was, but i couldn't have been older than six or seven), i woke up at 5:30 am in order to get a jump on opening presents. no one else was up, so i started digging in. the first present i opened was from santa, and it was a sky blue care bear. my mother woke up, came down the hallway, and caught me opening the present. she told me to stop opening it, and then tried to tape the paper back up around the care bear, so i could "open" it again with everyone there. she then sent me back to bed, but i couldn't fall back asleep. i just lied there until everyone else got up, and then opened presents with them.

19) If you could be a virgin again would you?
absolutely not. when i was a virgin, i had read a lot about sex, but i was absolutely scared of doing it, or even coming close to doing it, because i thought it would somehow fundamentally change me, that i wouldn't be the same again. it's true, it did change me irreparably, but in a good way...it made me more familiar with it, it made me aware of and willing to explore my feelings surrounding it, and it made me realise that book learning alone about sex pales compared to actual sexual experience. (not to disparage sex books, i still love to read about sex.) it also led me to the discovery that sex can either be joined with love or not, and either one can be just as valid--they're just different creatures.

20) Would you ever consider being open sexually to someone of the same sex?
most definitely, i would. i'd go into a rant, but i just went into one a few days ago so i'll spare you from hearing it again.

21) Type some of the lyrics of one of your favorite songs:
"shield your eyes dear mother
from the pain that hovers round the mess of a man you've uncovered
drink it down dear brother
their generation smothers you and they'll leave no trail to discover
build a callus sister
their generation blisters
we'll blister"
"generations"
by the verve pipe

22) Do you sleep with a teddy bear, blankie, or in girlfriend's/boyfriend's clothes?
stuffed animals...i used to sleep with a lot, although the only one on my bed right now is my eeyore. the rest of them are sitting elsewhere in my room. maybe i should return them to my bed, but they're not coming back to my bed at least until the end of the weekend, since my boyfriend is coming to town this weekend.

23) Do you believe long distance relationships would work?
i think they can work, indeed. i seem to have a penchant for getting into long distance relationships, and i'm currently in one right now. both people have to have the energy and the desire to carry on the relationship despite not getting to see each other as often as they want. also, anyone in a long distance relationship absolutely must enjoy talking on the phone for long periods of time.

24) Have you ever dated some one off of myspace/friendster?
i've never used either myspace or friendster, much less dated anyone off of them. i heard about friendster a few times, but never decided to log in. as for stalking websites, i'm rather partial to thefacebook.com, but i have not dated anyone i have met off of that website either. actually, i have not actually met anyone in person as a direct result of seeing their profile on the facebook.

25) How many people? (don’t fucking lie):
if you didn't read my last answer...zero.

26) What's more important: money, friendship, power or love?
i'd say either friendship or love...because you really can't separate the two. a really good, deep friendship is a kind of love in itself--it's not a romantic or physical type of love, but it is a deep emotional connection. that's what i would say is the most important thing--at least some strong connections to other people. whether you want to call it friendship, love, or anything else is really up to you.

27) Would you sleep with someone on the first date?
if it felt like the right thing to do at the time, i absolutely would. if i felt like the relationship was going in that direction, and i was comfortable, i would. if there was no possibility for a relationship, but we were both otherwise single and out for a good time, i would. but, if for any reason i didn't think it was a good idea, i wouldn't. it's just something i have to decide by feel.

28) How do you like your grilled cheese sandwiches?
just barely grilled in butter, with nice, sharp cheddar cheese. i like the grilled cheese sandwiches at the medici. sometimes i get bacon in them, which is also good. still, they're best plain with cheddar cheese. just don't burn them, that's just nasty.

29) What do you listen to when your heart is broken?
matchbox20's first album, yourself or someone like you. it's my depressed-about-something-human album, because it just taps into my ability to feel sad and broken so well. it makes me feel better, in a perverted way, just to know at least someone else felt like me, at one point.

30) Do you believe trust is earned, or do you think everyone gets a shot?
everyone gets a shot, at first--i'm such a trusting person. but, they betray it once, and it's almsot impossible to earn it back. i think it's symptomatic of the fact that i've been hurt and betrayed so many times...i need people to trust, to feel close to, to depend on sometimes. but, if they mess up once on something major, it's extremely hard, if not impossible to earn it back.

31) What do you mix your vodka with?
nothing, anything, and/or everything. vodka is definitely my favourite hard liquor. it's a pretty smooth shot, at least to me...it tastes like very little. it's a pretty standard mixing liquor, i guess my favourite things to mix it with are juices. mmmm, i could go for a vodka and cranberry right about now. i haven't had one in forever, and those things are darn good.

32) What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
i never liked cartoons all that much until i was older, and then i got into non-children's cartoons, shows like beavis and butt-head, south park, and adult swim. i liked the simpsons when i was younger, but that wasn't a saturday morning cartoon at all. this is just a really long way of saying that i didn't have a favourite saturday morning cartoon, unless it was a dream going on behind my eyelids. by the time i was old enough to be allowed to watch cartoons (which was in kindergarten), i liked to play nintendo on saturday mornings instead of watching television.

33) Did you ever watch kids incorporated?
i know i watched it, but i don't remember anything substantive about it. all i remember is part of the theme song..."looks like we made it...to kids incorporated...k-i-d-s!" i don't even remember what the show was about, or anything. i think i preferred reading anyway, even when i was a kid i would have rather read a book than watched television.

34) What is your favorite John Hughes film ?
i didn't even know who john hughes was until i looked him up just now in imdb. most of the movies i had never seen--the only one i had seen was ferris bueller's day off. that movie was okay... i think i was just way too old when i saw that movie for the first time. i would have thought ferris bueller was God, or at least the coolest person on earth, if i had seen that movie at the age of 13. but, i did not see that movie until i was 19, when my best friend sat me down in front of his television set and told me that i was watching it. it was kind of fun, but it was not the epiphany that it was for so many members of generations x and y. it was just...a movie that i could have taken or left.

35) What did you think of House of 1000 corpses by Rob Zombie?
i never saw it. i saw ads for it, and it looked like kind of an interesting movie, kind of a fun little horror flick, but the same thing happened with that movie as happens with almost every other movie i sort of want to see. i just never made it out to the movie theatre to see it. the only time i ever do make it out to the movies is if someone i know really wants to go see it, and we therefore end up making a special effort to go out. but, it's always spearheaded by someone else, not me. i'm not a very big movie watcher, movies are something i very rarely go out of my way to see. i think the last movie i went out of my way to see, actually dragged myself to a movie theatre alone, was ghost world.

36) What do you do for work?
i work at a library. i barcode books, and then i type the barcodes into the computer and update the item records. it's boring, but it's wonderful because i can do stuff like this instead of actually working on my work. it's also wonderful because the schedule is flexible enough. it's the perfect job for someone taking an extremely lazy year off between college and law school.

37) What is your dream job?
i've got two--i'd either love to be a rock singer or a professional poker player. i'm pretty good at both of those things, although i don't think i'm good enough at either of them to actually sustain a career in either of them. in any realistic sense, i want to be a trial lawyer...which is the job i really want. it's right below those two on the jobs-i-want scale (i get to argue for a living, for crying out loud!), but it's not nearly as precarious as trying to make a living in music or gambling.

38)Who is your favorite Peanuts Gang Character?
i can't say i ever really had a favourite peanuts character. i love snoopy because he's a dog, and dogs are just plain adorable. woodstock was also really cool, because he never actually talked in words. (i bet the cheat was at least somewhat based on woodstock, a little yellow guy who speaks unintelligibly.) and linus...i have a soft spot for linus because my school did you're a good man, charlie brown my senior year, and the guy i had a huge crush on played linus.

39) Broken hearts or a broken arm ?
broken arm, of course. a broken arm will heal. a broken heart will not. then again, i don't think i've ever had a broken heart, in any real sense. i'm more of the heartbreaking type. once i read this column that said that people are classified as "dumpers" and "dumpees". i'm most definitely a dumper--if something's not working out, and it can't be fixed, i'm out, and i'm not afraid to end the relationship. it was always the most logical way for me.

40) Clubs or bars?
i prefer bars. clubs are so snooty, hip, and fashionable, and i'm none of that at all. i love a nice divey bar with cheap drinks...and either a good atmosphere to talk in (a la the pub or jimmy's), or a rock music stage with good local bands playing (a la the brewery [in raleigh, nc]). sure, there are snooty, expensive bars, in places like lincoln park or river north or downtown, but i try to avoid those. i am not a yuppie.

41)Whats the best show you've ever been to?
the summer before college started, i saw finger eleven and down cycle at the brewery in raleigh. it was an amazing show...finger eleven put on the most passionate live performance i have ever seen. i was right up near the stage, since the show was at this tiny dive bar in downtown raleigh. they played my favourite song of theirs, "sick of it all"--i've seen them twice since and they have not played that song. words fail me...the entire audience and the band just fed off of each other, and made something amazing. down cycle, a local raleigh band who opened, was also very good...i had never heard them before, but they were a treat.

42) Do you have a crush?
crush really isn't the right word to describe it anymore when i've been dating him for six months, right?

43) Who were you in high school?
freshman year, i was a girl who tried and failed to be liked by people. i was socially screwed, since the two people at my middle school, in my grade, who were my friends went to different high schools--one went to the magnet school and one moved to georgia. i was socially inept, and sat by myself at the lunch table every single day. sophomore through senior years, i was still socially inept, but i cared a lot less about it. i had a friend or two, a few casual acquaintances, and was comfortable enough with people to at least sit with them at lunch, even though they may not have been my best friends in the world. i was involved in a lot of stuff, but i was your stereotypical, classical, brainy loner.

44) Do you believe in astrology?
not in the least. i find it rather silly...as one of my friends once put it, i refuse to plan my life based on when my parents had sex. sure, horoscopes are a lot of fun to read, but they're always so vague that just about anyone can find things in their life or their days to map to each little platitude in the horoscope.

45) Do you believe in angels?
no, i don't. maybe it's depressing that i don't believe in angels, but i don't. that's not to say i don't believe in any sort of afterlife, i'm still on the fence about that general concept, but i really don't think that the dead watch over the living, or anyhow interact with them.

46) Do you believe in ghosts?
i don't think i do. i've never actually seen one, it's never been a useful model to explain anything away. then again...ghosts are just a spooky version of angels, right? believe in one, it's most consistent to believe in the other...at least to me.

47) Don't lie: do you like bon Jovi's album?
i've never listened to a bon jovi album. besides, don't they have a ton? this i can admit: there are a few bon jovi songs that are guilty pleasures for me. it's my life...living on a prayer...always...all three of these songs i sing along to, and enjoy myself during, in spite of myself.

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