Thursday, January 08, 2004

tell me: how many times do we bend to the things that we never intend?

i know what i want, but it stays hidden in the shadows. i tell everyone everything unless it's something that's important to me, fundamental to my very existence. i often feel like i'm leading the world on, like i'm playing a role. i'm starting to break out of it (case in point, admitting that i'm sick of school and will not, under any circumstances, go to law school next year!), but there are still a few things that are just...taboo. i'm sure everyone surmises it, no one will be surprised...for crying out loud, i play my REAL role, my mental role, the role i want to play so freaking well, someone (one of the banes of my current existence...aaargh...another freaking story) told me i was "a walking stereotype". a walking stereotype of something that's a running joke with everyone but me and my own head.

instead of being alone with all my wrongs, i'm out front with all my wrongs...and alone with what's right in my world.

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