Monday, December 08, 2003

these next three days are going to be, well, one last scene of struggling for this awful quarter of school. last friday was my last scene of struggling against Pure Evil about those financial aid forms and everything else. it makes me feel a little better to know it's the last, but it's still struggling... anyway, relevant song lyrics.

the last scene of struggling
by finger eleven


the static grows
and kills the message
unclear as the wind blows
thin whispers through all the wreckage
you said you planned to fail
looking so safe but sorry
so be sure to bring the nail
and seal the exit out

feel the way through your revelation
does it feel the way you want to
you want to
just say it like it's all true
you just tell it like you want to

you bled along
the edge of reason
you could have changed your mind
into the driest season
don't explain
i know the lives that you let go
the ones you thought you knew
held out for deep dark truth

feel the way through your revelation
does it feel the way you want to
you want to
just say it like it's all true
you just tell it like you want to

calculate one last scene of struggling
as i'm sinking i'll be looking for you
'cause you know who to blame

but you can't stop the plan
'cause supply met demand

feel the way through your revelation
does it feel the way you want to
you want to
just say it like it's all true
you just tell it like you want to


i think my favourite passage in the song is:
"you said you planned to fail
looking so safe but sorry
so be sure to bring the nail
and seal the exit out"
it describes oh-so-perfectly what happened on friday. i knew it was going to be bad when i called Pure Evil to check up on the forms, especially since i had decided to go one step further and reveal my gripes to it, to actually try and stand up to it as opposed to nodding and smiling. planning to fail described it well, i knew i was going to piss it off. the fact that i did engage in the shouting match that i guess we were both going towards, that was my way of bringing the nail. that was my way of sealing the exit out, because i'm sure i've completed the alienation that he's been pushing for for so long. this distance is painful, but i've realised that it's the only good thing that can happen in this situation.

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