had a breakdown tonight while i was out with three of my friends...it was about my father. the good news is, they all sat and talked with me for an hour or so, calmed me down, and just worked through my incoherent ranting about what a jerk my father is. the problem is that they've all decided that i need to call my father tomorrow and just let loose and yell at him, call him out on his failings--i know that's the right thing to do, but i don't know if i have the wherewithal to do it. i can't stand up to evil...i may have grown up with a stranger, but i grew up with him, and i find it hard to yell. it's just easier to not talk. then again, maybe easier may not be the way to go here.
he still hasn't submitted my financial aid forms for this school year. this is going to put me in so much debt if he doesn't submit them. they're two stinking pages, and they're probably full of zeroes anyway 'cause he's a drunk who doesn't work. i'm so mad i can't see straight.
way for me to ruin a perfectly decent evening with my instability and my family problems. at least i have the greatest friends in the world...they listen to me and support me and are just beautiful people. i love them dearly, i don't know what i would do, what i could do, without them.