i can't decide if i've never felt so integrated in my life, or if i've never felt so adrift. sometimes i feel both ways at once, which may be a problem.
i hate being a student, but i don't see the point of quitting when i'm so close to the end. i'm starting to think more and more seriously about graduating in march instead of in june. sure, it would mean having to find a place and a job (at least a temporary one) sooner, but it would also mean a few thousand dollars less debt to pay for something i'm freaking sick of anyway.
everything else is wonderful, i just don't have time for all of it sometimes. i love my friends, mock trial, my band, my concertgoing and all of the cool people i've met at the shows. it's such a joy...i just love everything but school. my relatives are about ready to kill me for not going straight to law school, but that's not something i'm ready to do right now, it's not something i want to do.
total one eighty, but speaking of relatives, what do you do when you get a package in the mail from Pure Evil? do i acknowledge it? do i not? do i return it to sender since the idea of opening it makes me sick to my stomach? i don't have the foggiest.
eh well, at least i'll be 21 in two days. i need to figure out what i'm doing with my friends on wednesday. i also need to talk my way into getting out of mock trial early on thursday in order to go to the ratbag hero show on thursday night at the big horse. it'll be my first legitimately attended 21 and over show...fitting enough, since my last, umm, not-so-legitimately attended 21 and over concert was also a ratbag hero show. :) i love that band.
my brain is bouncing around without a hint of direction. i wish it were 7 and not 5:30...bowling league is at 7, and it's a welcome distraction.
good fight, goodnight.