Tuesday, November 17, 2009

five questions

excuse me while i engage in a bit of blatant memery...it's a fun meme, though, so feel free to ask me for some questions. :)

Instructions:
Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

***

Mark asked me these five questions:
  1. How did you get into hacking? -- i was really into computers as a kid. i started using a computer in 1985, when my family got a Mac 512. in middle school, i learned BASIC, and started doing some basic programming. i didn't do anything all that intricate, but i got a handle on a few of the fundamentals. that's kind of the initial background for how i got into computers...although it was a long time after that when i got into the hacker community, since i got distracted from my interest in computers by the time i hit high school. i didn't really get back into them hardcore until my last year of law school. i stumbled across a phone phreaking and pranking board (Phone Losers of America) while poking around wikipedia one night, and i met some people off of there who were into linux. i gave linux a shot early last year...and playing around with that got me back into coding, which got me into learning all sorts of things about computers and networking and security. that was my real entry into the world of hacking. i'd still call myself relatively new at it, but i'm getting better and better.
  2. Can you make a living doing it? -- that's my goal. i'm not making a living on it yet, but i'm trying to find a tech job that will take a chance on some relative newbie with no computer degrees and only one entry-level professional certification to date. i plan on eventually working in computer security, although i want to work as a sysadmin or a network admin first--because how could i expect people to take my advice for tweaking and locking down their systems if i haven't been involved in maintaining said systems previously?
  3. It seems like you aren't fond of the whole lawyering thing. So, why do it? -- you're right--i am not fond of it at all. i hate it...to the point that i physically recoil at the idea of ever working as an attorney again. so--i'm not going to. i was laid off from my job as an attorney at the end of march of this year, and i haven't been seeking jobs in the legal field. i've still got my law license, and am planning on keeping it current for the time being, so i can continue to provide my hackerspace (Pumping Station: One) with legal advice. i can't say i enjoy legally advising in any capacity, but right now i'm the only lawyer who is a member of the space, and it's worth it to be able to keep the space in existence.
  4. Why is your hair blue? -- i could be snarky and say "it's not blue, it's pink." :) (it is true--my hair is currently pink, although i plan on dyeing it back to blue very, very soon.) i dye my hair blue because blue is my favourite colour to have my hair--i really like how it looks on me. also, i really don't feel comfortable with my hair brown or blonde or black or any kind of colour that naturally grows out of the human head. i feel dull...like a sanitized version of myself. i just feel more confident when my hair is a fun colour. i'm hoping that whatever job i get next will allow me to keep my hair...if, for the time being, i have to take a job that doesn't, i'm not going to make the same mistake i did at my last job. when i worked for the law firm, i dyed my hair back to something "natural". this time around, if it becomes necessary, i'm getting a wig to wear to work, and will stick to my blue, purple, pink, or whatever interesting colour i choose at any given time for my real hair to be dyed.
  5. What do you want to be when you grow up? -- i touched on that in my answer to #2...i want to do something in the field of computer security. i'm not sure yet whether i want to work in-house somewhere or be a consultant, although i'm leaning toward the consulting side. we'll see how this shakes out once i've gotten some kind of stable footing in the field, but that's my plan for now.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

law school fail.

thank you, Above the Law, for speaking the truth:

"At this point, going to law school is like starting to smoke. It’s expensive, it’s probably going to kill you, and it’s a stupid life decision. But some people just don’t care."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

they fuck you up...

i saw this poem posted in childfree hardcore today, and it put a knowing smile on my face.

This Be the Verse
BY PHILIP LARKIN

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.


i, for one, know i won't be passing my misery or screwed-up-ness to any kids.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

i can haz RAM?

despite hemming and hawing for the last two years or so that my law school laptop was on its last legs, and that i wasn't going to pay to upgrade the RAM or do anything else to it, it has become pretty clear that this box is my primary computer, and will be for some time. despite some cosmetic damage...some cracks in the case, the super-glued-on space bar, it still runs pretty nicely, especially with xubuntu on it.

so, today, i finally caved. i maxed out the RAM on my cranky old laptop--going from a paltry 512 megs to a slightly respectable 2 gigs.

the thing that got me to do it was the fact that i'm planning on working through metasploit unleashed soon, and that requires running vulnerable VMs on your computer in order to exploit them. i realised that there was no way i'd be able to run both a base OS and a VM with only 512 megs of RAM. that wasn't going to happen.

aside from that rather practical consideration, though, it's really, really nice not to have the computer slow down to molasses speed if i had both firefox and a video or music player running. between the fact that i have four times the RAM i had this morning and the fact that i'm still running xubuntu (and not something more bloated), my old box is zipping along better than ever!

i seriously should have done this years ago.

Friday, October 30, 2009

if you still care, don't ever let me know

it has been a couple of months since i heard a new song that grabbed me and shook me.

i heard "snuff" by slipknot for the first time today, and it was exactly what i needed. i was pretty shocked when i found out it was slipknot, since most of their stuff really doesn't do it for me, but this one just gives me goosebumps.



bury all your secrets in my skin
come away with innocence
and leave me with my sins
the air around me still feels like a cage
and love is just a camouflage
for what resembles rage again

so if you love me let me go
and run away before i know
my heart is just too dark to care
i cant destroy what isn't there
deliver me into my fate
if i'm alone i cannot hate
i don't deserve to have you
my smile was taken long ago
if i can change i hope i never know

i still press your letters to my lips
and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
i couldn't face a life without your light
but all of that was ripped apart...
when you refused to fight

so save your breath i will not hear
i think i made it very clear
you couldn't hate enough to love
is that supposed to be enough?
i only wish you weren't my friend
then i could hurt you in the end
i never claimed to be a saint
my own was banished long ago
it took the death of hope to let you go

so break yourself against my stones
and spit your pity in my soul
you never needed any help
you sold me out to save yourself
and i wont listen to your shame
you ran away you're all the same
angels lie to keep control
my love was punished long ago
if you still care don't ever let me know

if you still care don't ever let me know

Sunday, October 18, 2009

:P

(warning: whiny, cryptic rant ahead.)

i've been feeling really weird, really off, these last few days. i know in my head what i want and need to get done, but nothing's coming. i'm going through a time of banging my head against a wall repeatedly. there's no real reason why i can't get past that wall...i just can't.

maybe i'm scared of change. maybe i'm scared to fail. maybe i've convinced myself so well that anything i could possibly do would be a disappointment that some switch has flipped in my brain to tell myself that it's better not to even try, and therefore let people continue to think i might be able to do something that i'm convinced there's no way i'll actually be able to wrap my head around.

Friday, October 16, 2009

my ipod smokes crack rocks.

i'm at the hackerspace reading through some 501(c)(3) documentation. a couple of other people are here. my iPod is playing over the speakers.

it played "through the fire and flames" by dragonforce...

..followed by "i want it that way" by the backstreet boys.

if the other guys here didn't realise what a weirdo i was, they sure know now. :)